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I can't help but find it disturbingly amusing that my mother reproduces many of the traits that she hates about her mother. It makes me wonder if I'll be the same... Is this normal? If so, how do I avoid reproducing the things I hate about my mother?
You'll end up repeating the traits you hate unless you completely change your style of thinking.. which is what I did.
I don't go along with the "all women become their mother" thing but it does seem to happen quite a lot and for obvious reasons. Your first female role model is bound to have a huge impact on your future as well as your present.
I don't want to become my parents either and, now and I again, I write my future self a letter, saying how I feel about them and about the bevaviours I don't want to reproduce. I'm wondering if it's inevitable, though, and I'll just treat my future self the way my parents would treat me now. As a "for instance", I used a tape recorder to record a message about how I saw the world (I was about seven). I found the tape when I moved house and, by then, didn't have anything to play it on. Eventually I was curious and bought a small tape deck. My chief concern was about the fairness of the world and I was convinced all popular children became unpopular when they grew up, and vice versa, because then it's fair to everyone and balances out. I just look at the kid recording that, though, as naive.
Life is a learning process. If you're happy with who you are right now and you're happy with yourself when you are your mother's age, then it's probably worth just counting your blessings.