Is it normal to be afraid of having an affair when i go back to work?

56% Normal
3 Comments

been married 9 months have a 3 month old son. So..i dated this guy for 2 years and i broke it off cuz i didn't feel good about the relationship even though the guy is Mr. Nice guy. I wanted to pursue a co-worker relationship who i have known for about 2 years and have strong feelings for. a week after I broke it off and felt really relieved and content that I did it, I found out I was pregnant, so we got back together and got married 3 months later, i felt pressure to get married cuz my parents would kill me i felt like and we told them we were pregnant after the wedding..i couldn't believe it happened to me that my boyfriend got me pregnant a good lil christian girl is what everyone thought.. it was a shocker and i know EVERYONE and their dog was talking about me and I felt really horrible..everyone liked my now husband and thought we should get married..cuz he was such a great guy..but I just never felt that excited about him...my wedding was never how I expected it to be..i want to cry everytime i think about it. when you get proposed to i thought your supposed to feel the happiest you've ever felt and be so excited...for me it wasn't like that at all ,..it was just like yes okay..its what we have to do..so depressing

and now every freaking day we've been married Ive thought about the coworker and randomly spoken over text with him..i think about him all the time unintentionally, he just pops into my head...when my husband and i were dating we split up for a while and i dated the coworker for a few weeks and we fooled around and it was better then sex with my husband and now i can't help but think about him when i'm having sex with my husband, cuz it was so much better with him (coworker) it even felt better to cuddle with him so any time i hold hands or cuddle with my husband it makes me feel like crying cuz i wish it was the coworker who holding hands with and cuddling with was better...I was hoping my feelings for coworker would fade by now but there just as strong as ever and i'm going back to work soon and am scared when i see him its going to be so much torture and i'm scared i wont be able to resist temptation...i so screwed up my life i know..i can't believe i got married when i still had such strong feelings for another man..but now i have a beautiful baby i adore and it makes me so sad to thing of him not having a mommy and daddy together.. i feel bad to my husband cuz he tries so hard and he thinks its other reasons that i act like i dont like him but in reality theres nothing he can do to make me love him.. i feel so bad for my husband but i am always daydreaming about life with coworker but then i come back to reality and get really depressed...i dont know what to do..help!

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 27 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Urg, sorry I don't have time to write tonight and I barely skimmed your story. If I got this right, you married a great guy but you are bored and thinking about cheating.

    If this is somewhat true and I am not talking out of my ass for no reason, SHAME ON YOU. I am a great guy myself but I am sick and tired of women who decide that I am a little boring or a little too nice. Then they steal my money, manipulate me and then fuck a really fugly guy behind my back.

    HERE IS THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU.
    I am going to marry my fiance, I put her picture in my profile under a link there so take a look. I care for her for WHO she is and not because I get a funny tingling down below. I am marrying my best friend and I am truly happy.

    I'm just so tired of dumb skanks who get tired of great guys and treat them like shit so they can go out with another guy and be beaten. JUST BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ARE WITH AND IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, FIX IT BY GETTING YOUR NICE GUY TO TRY NEW THINGS.

    Also, you can't fear a decision that you can make. If you cheat or don't cheat, it is your choice and at any time, you can say no to that idea. If you cheat, it is on you and nobody BUT you, as it is your own damn choice.

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  • serialkillerlover
    14 years ago

    you seem to be in a really tough situation but i would suggest that you need to ask yourself what you really want, i mean do you want this other guy because he is exciting and your not allowed to be with him, that could be the attraction or do you really love him.

    i would give you this advice, break it off with the coworker and give your marriage a chance if not for you but for your child. if it doesnt work out then you've at least tried.
    but if you dont then you cant really say i've given my marriage a fair chance. but as long as this other guy is in the background you'll be forever stuck between two men and confused.

    i hope this helped
    good luck xx

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Yep, I was right about you. I couldn't sleep so I decided to get up and actually read a few stories and what I wrote before needed to be re-thoughtout.

    I was right about you, you have a great guy and you are too busy thinking about the "exciting" and "hotter" guy than the one who has been there for you. If he is a great guy, then shut the hell up and stay with him and find ways to be happy with him.

    Honestly, my fiance is just like what you stated before and I have been with her for two years. Although I have stated before that I thought about cheating, I won't and I know this. Sure, I would like some excitement but at the end of the day, I am glad she is here.

    If you do cheat, I hope he takes everything including your child and truly leaves you with nothing. Stop thinking with your vagina you dumb whore and be a good wife, like you should be.

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