Is it normal to be affraid to read your boyfriend text messages?

74% Normal
9 Comments

Hi. My boyfriend and I go way back. He used to be my best friend so I know all his dirty little secrets. He has an history of being unfaithful to his ex-girlfriend, but he was my friend, I didn't care. Now I'm the girlfriend, and he says its different but still in the back of my mind... I had the habit of reading his text messages before we were together, but since we started dating I get mad about some things I read. He says they're normal, that I'm just being jealous, and I used to think they were normal before, but now not so much. In order to don't fight anymore I stopped reading them. Now I'm affraid to read them and discover something unpleasent. Is it normal to be affraid, or am I just in denial?

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 77 votes (57 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • -WhySoSerious-
    12 years ago

    Don't read his messages... It's disrespectful.
    Give him some privacy. There's a line between married and in a relationship.. don't pretend like you're married to him.

    If you keep on reading text messages, he might end up being really upset, and that could cause more problems in the future.

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    • LizaS
      12 years ago

      He says h doesn't mind at all, because when we were just friends he was the one who actually showed them to me. But I feel the same as all of you, once you're in a relashionship you should draw some limits that weren't there before.
      Thanks :)

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  • TareBear20
    12 years ago

    I feel that in a healthy relationship. One should not read the spouses text messages. You should just trust in you're boyfriend that he's doing the right thing and by that I mean being faithful..

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  • fartonmyface
    11 years ago

    It entirely depends on what his text messages consist of. I don't know how people are even trying to answer this without knowing what his text messages read.

    But I am going to just assume he's flirting with other girls via text. And you have every right to be upset about that. I'm a guy and I don't find interest in texting a girl I don't have interest in. He's not just texting other girls because they are cool and have a bunch in common with him. They probably have little in common with him actually. He's texting them because he's enjoying the flirtatious attention from other women besides you. And since you are his girlfriend, his behavior is not right. You shouldn't be with a guy like that. There are billions of other men who will cherish you like no other. Trust me.

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    • LizaS
      11 years ago

      Most of the messages I find are actually for me or for other boys. And it's not about de actual content, it's not that I read something that I dislike.

      I'm afraid of reading his messages because I might find some texts out of context and make a big deal out of them. I just wanted to know if this is a normal feeling for everybody, or if its just me.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I feel like it's normal and if you are together you have rights to do so but also if you relax and let him earn trust you might see a different view. Sometimes women like to have control where control isn't needed in the situation! I was doing I. And ever since I let go, things got less tense and I was happy... See what works for you.

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    • LizaS
      12 years ago

      Thank you for the advice and for sharing your personal situation :) I think that you're right, just because I'm paranoid it doesn't mean I have reasons to be.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    You are reading his personal messages... there's your problem.

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  • STFU23
    12 years ago

    well what do the messages say??

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