Is it normal to be a single virgin almost 21

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19 Comments

I am a signal male virgin almost 21. I know there are people that are in the same position as me I gust want to know if anyone in my position found success and how. All of my close friends have found success in this topic a long time ago. I am the only person out of all the people I associate with on a daly basis that has the problem.
When I was in school I was looked at as the weird kid that know one wanted to talk to. I had know experience with talking to girls in any way and still don't. People here tell me the rite one will come when the time is right but when I'm 50 0r 60 when the best years for love and starting a family are gone then whats the point. I want know where do people learn to communicate like that.

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88% Normal
Based on 68 votes (60 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • bemah
    10 years ago

    I really don't get why people think virginity is such a big deal, but then of course i was quite young when i lost mine, so i don't know what it's like to be older, freaking out that I'm not normal because I've not had sex or something.

    Personally i think sex is overrated, so don't worry, it's not like your missing out on much. But if it's really important to you, and you think your seen as weird, then maybe there's someone out there just as weird and awesome as you, you just gotta be open i guess.

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  • Holzman67
    10 years ago

    You're still so young, baby steps. It's easy at your age to feel unnecessary pressure when you are comparing yourself to others who may be in a better position than you are currently. Forget about that, run your own race. Concentrate on self development first, that's my advice. Get a good job, a car, a place of your own. Even do a bit of travelling, wealth of experience works wonders for your wellbeing. You will garner confidence from your self progression to the point where you will be ready and able to talk to women and they will reciprocate. If you are still having trouble, nothing wrong with getting a bit of advice, there are plenty of sources available. Look on the net, visit your library, the self help section. Good luck.

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    • Terence_the_viking
      10 years ago

      I know right? like being a virgin is some kind of disease.

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      • Holzman67
        10 years ago

        Not a disease as such but it can be a psychological challenge for people, put them under pressure.

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        • Terence_the_viking
          10 years ago

          Why should it though?

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          • Holzman67
            10 years ago

            Yeah well I don't know, you're right it shouldn't. Talking to the adult virgins I've known (who are not virgins by choice but simply through lack of opportunity) I think its the comparisons they make between themselves and others, the importance of it (to some people) as a coming of age, step into adulthood/manhood, hormones, lack of sexual intimacy, loneliness and then there's the social acceptance element. There are any number of things one may feel internal pressure about. But you're right, it shouldn't be so.

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  • PureLikeSnow
    10 years ago

    You're not an outlier, so don't worry about it. Countless people your age are still virgins by choice or because they haven't found the correct partner. "Am I ready for sex?" is a question that I frequently ask myself because sex itself is enticing, it's a life-changing experience, and it's emotionally overwhelming.

    Sex isn't everything. You've still got your youth and your virginity is something you should honor.

    When it comes to meeting women, you have to socialize with them. No one is going to hold your hand and perform the task for you. Rejection is typical, so don't forsake your hopes. When it comes to women, this is something you should remember: Most women in this world aren't true to others, let alone themselves. You've got to find women that are in the remainder; those women reciprocate true feelings that aren't accompanied by neediness and insecurity. Sleeping with them is something that happens naturally, so be patient because the wait is worth it. :)

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    • rclay1992
      10 years ago

      The big question I am asking is when in live do people learn to talk to the opposite sex. Everyone I know learned this when they were young. What did I miss.

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      • PureLikeSnow
        10 years ago

        During adolescense, if not adulthood.

        I don't mean to transgress you, but if this issue has recurred many times then you're only wallowing in self-pity. Understand that every guy has a differing number of social experiences with women. There's one certainty about you: You're mad at yourself whenever you miss out on an opportunity to let a beautiful woman know that you exist. You've got nothing to lose when you approach women. Grow a pair and take action because you aren't getting any younger.

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      • Darkoil
        10 years ago

        I was brought up by three women, in some respects I find it easier to speak to women than men.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    If it's any consolation I was 19 when I lost my virginity to my first love who was also a virgin and he was 21. I'm 43 now and I still have fond memories. Save yourself for someone you love, it's worth it!

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    • Terence_the_viking
      10 years ago

      really you are 43 i never would have guessed.

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        Thanks!

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  • [email protected]
    10 years ago

    I mean terrified13

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  • [email protected]
    10 years ago

    I agree with terrified33 I'm in the same situation

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  • terrified13
    10 years ago

    I know it sucks, I'm a girl pretty much in the same situation. No one who had sex/a relationship at a normal age seems to understand how much of a problem it is. I can't really give you any advice, just know that there are girls going through this too!

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  • telly34
    10 years ago

    I tell you what. When I was eighteen, I was THE BIGGEST FUCKING LOSER on two feet. And even *I* got laid.

    But never beat yourself up over it and don't associate with people who pressure you about it. That is the worst mistake I made when I was younger. I used to hanh around with this guy with natural genetic looks who used his looks to pick up women, fuck them for a while and then kick them to the curb. His parents spent all kinds of money on expensive toys so he played the role of the rich kid.

    My advice would be to just let it come naturally and don't associate with people who pressure you or judge you or want you to become anything that you're not.

    Hope this helps !

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    "I am a signal male"

    Do you have a beacon that flashes?

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Have sex, get on with it.

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