Is it normal to be a doormat?

63% Normal
5 Comments

For some reason nearly everyone I meet takes advantage of me and is mean to be because they can be. I don't know how to assert myself so that I will be respected. Sometimes I can see it coming. I can see them testing me, and I usually act like whatever they are doing is okay so there won't be any conflict. The only option I know of so I won't be treated like this is to refuse to spend any time together. I want to be friends, or more than friends with the person and I assume that everyone is going to treat me like this so I rather just put up with it then stand up for myself. I assume that everyone will take advantage of me if they can. Am I assuming wrong? I tried being more cold and aggressive and I was treated completely differently but I didn't feel like I was being myself. Is there some sort of middle ground? Do you have any suggestions on how I can be less of a doormat but still have relationships with other people? Is it normal?

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 27 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • tbiM20
    12 years ago

    You don't have to be aggressive to stand up for yourself. Just don't play into a "test." Kick the jerks to the curb. Respect yourself and you'll find friends who respect you.

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  • MRmr
    12 years ago

    Grow some balls and dont let people take advantage of you.

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  • Brickinit
    12 years ago

    Its normal for a nice person to do this, unfortunately nice people always get treat like a door Matt... The answer to this stop happening, if for you to say no, I'm sorry, i have things my self i need to do or this and that, then eventually it should stop :) good luck x

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    The middle ground is when someone says, "Can you do me a favour?" Do not rush in and say yes at once, say, "If I can."

    Then they tell you what it is and you say, "Let me get back to you."

    Then you sit back and think, "Would they do this for me?" and "Am I able to do this without too much inconveniene to me?" If both answers are yes, then call them back and say OK. If either answer is no - either 'forget' to get back to them coz you're sooooo busy at the moment, or call them back and say "I can't help you, I already have other plans for that day / date /...." Do not apologise for not being able to help!

    It is their problem to sort out - not your's so don't try to solve it.

    This advice completely changed my life as I used to have a 'rubber spine' bending over backwards to help everyone.

    The Bible says 'Love thy neighbour AS thyself' - not more than yourself!!

    I don't like confrontation either but have found that this works for me :o)

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  • ready2rumble
    12 years ago

    Don't call yourself a doormat. I think the worst thing you can do is trying to be aggressive or cold when you are not, coz you could be hurting people that you don't mean to hurt. Unfortunately, like you said a lot of people can tell that you tend to avoid conflict and push your limits to see how far can you accommodate to them.

    Conflict is not bad, you have to counterattack and put people in their place when they are taking advantage of you. Try to speak your mind, say everything you are thinking at the moment, don't worry if you piss off people you can always apologize later

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