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my daughters friend (who is 12) came over and asked to go on redtube to watch lesbian porn (i have not talked with her mother yet) i said not this time because i don't know what to do.?! please help! (i will talk to her mother this week(when i see her))
Well, if you're just curious if it's normal - the answer is yes. Perfectly normal and understandable. She's starting to go through puberty, and has hormones that are telling her her body is ready for sex (of course not socially - hopefully that will come years later when she's ready) but physically. It's exciting to experience sexuality through porn and other such things at that age, and much safer than sex.
As to what you should do about it? Unfortunately, this isn't your child. Personally if it was my own, I would explain a bit about how porn works (i.e. how fake it is) but reinforce that it's normal and that masturbation is safe and healthy. Given that it's someone else's daughter, I would have to defer the decision to them - but I probably wouldn't "tattle" that she asked to. She trusts you enough to ask, why break that trust? Knowing myself, if the mother was heinously conservative and strictly against sexual affirmation... I could see myself allowing it / teaching what I can behind her back, but that's morally questionable and I wouldn't recommend it.
the screwed up thing about our society is that we think children are asexual and are in stunned disbelief when we realize they desire sex as adults do.
if you don't want her to watch it, tell her not to...why get her in trouble with her mother?
I think that would be very good for her. She's looking to you as a sexual guide or mentor. She's at the age when she needs to discover, & learn more, & experiment with her own sex.
Find her some mother/daughter homemade [real] lesbian videos, as these are more passionate & erotic than the commercial versions.....who know's what might happen!
Possible to take the best from all 3 worlds...
"the screwed up thing about our society is that we think children are asexual and are in stunned disbelief when we realize they desire sex as adults do."
"Well, if you're just curious if it's normal - the answer is yes. It's exciting to experience sexuality through porn and other such things at that age, and much safer than sex. She trusts you enough to ask, why break that trust? I could see myself allowing it / teaching what I can behind her back."
"Was she asking your permission because she WANTED to go there. Or was she asking your permission because your DAUGHTER wanted to go there. You may have to consider that your daughter may have already been surfing porn already."
I get yelled at for my own opinions. So I'll use the opinions of others.
"Not at this time".
It's good you told her "no". It will be better if you don't let her come over again until you've spoken to her mother.
Exposing children to porn can get you on the Sexual Offender Registry.
So... now you know when she comes over she's probably going to be looking at porn on your computer.
Or.... there's something else to consider. Was she asking your permission because she WANTED to go there. Or was she asking your permission because your DAUGHTER wanted to go there.
You may have to consider that your daughter may have already been surfing porn already.
THIS is why you may want to talk to her mother. You don't have to blame the other girl. You can just tell her what happened so that she can discuss it if she choses. Then you should perhaps consider discussing it with your own daughter as well.
and then consider checking your internet history. either for porn site usage. or to see if the history has recently been erased