Is it normal to be 23 and never had a bf or done the deed?

84% Normal
14 Comments

I just graduated college this past year and I'm turning 24 this October. I've never had a boyfriend, I grew up in a strict African household and I wasn't allowed to date. I'm social but it takes me a bit to warm up to people. I went to college and of course I drank but I didn't have my first kiss until my sophomore year of college and it was awful!!! I didn't kiss anyone until the following Fall and I almost went all the way with him but I stopped myself before anything happen. This past year I started going out downtown and meeting guys left and right and I met this one guy who turned out to be an a-hole and just wanted one thing from me...luckily we didn't get to that point but still he was able to feed me a bunch of lines. Anyway I just started a new job and I've moved to NYC. I'm hoping that everything changes for me here. Guys have called me beautiful although its still hard for me to believe it. I'm 5'11, slender, I do wear glasses, I guess I'm pretty. In high school I was called a geek and a giraffe, my mom really didn't help with teasing...making me feel like s*it because I went to prom dateless I do consider myself a hopeless romantic, but its getting harder and harder to believe that there's someone out there for. I have been abused in the past and it is hard for me to open to people and get close to others. I still feel a bit awkward about myself. IDK what I'm gonna do in the area of my life

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 75 votes (63 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • disthing
    10 years ago

    Yes it's normal.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      It is well out of the majority, so technically it isn't "normal".

      Harmless, yes.

      Acceptable, sure.

      Normal, not really.

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      • disthing
        10 years ago

        In the minority, yes.

        But so unusual to no longer be normal? I'm not sure. It's one of the most frequently asked questions here so it can't be that rare, can it?

        "According to the results of a recently released study from the Center for Disease Control... nearly a third of people under the age of twenty-four [between 15-24] say they've had no sexual contact." That's as of 2010.

        Now I don't know about you, tommy, but I consider almost a third to still qualify as typical, usual, expected.

        As for the 'never had a bf', I'm not certain how normal that is. Probably not that normal - so I admit I may be wrong about that part.

        Glad you've been paying attention, though.

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        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          Liars, lunatics, and journalists.

          Attention please.

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  • Theadage
    10 years ago

    Giiirl, I can definitely relate growing up in a strict African household as well.

    You know what, your virginity is one of those things that you have once, and you choose who you give it away too.

    My personal philosophy is to save my virginity not because of What guys will think, or religion, but because having a sexual relationship with someone is making yourself vulnerable to a bond that is very strong. I'm going to wait until marriage, until I find the right person because I just can't casually sleep with someone, and have them walk out on me the next day. I would be too emotionally attached... I have to know that they are there because we connect on an intellectual, emotional, and physical level while at the same time in a stable relationship. I have to know that he also thinks I'm the one, and he has no problem spending the rest of his life with me. If he truly cares, and loves you, then marriage would be no problem to him. Your emotions are yours, some guys just want to fuck and be done with you. They want to use your beauty. Sometimes you think you know what guys will do that... but even those that seem good at first have subtle motives. You just have to play it safe sis. I've seen so many of my guy friends de-virginate girls and almost instantly treat them like trash. To some guys, you are just a game to play.

    You see your friends around you, and the pop culture having sex before marriage. There is nothing wrong with that. That's their choice, and their personal belief. It doesn't make you any better, or less of a person. There is also nothing wrong with not having sex before your age, or having sex at a later age. Sometimes you just want to jump into things... but the best advice that I was given to me was to wait it out. And know that you're not weird, or abnormal. And you're also not alone. In the end it is ultimately your choice. Whatever works for you :)

    Sometimes that late blooming flower is the most beautiful of them all. Trust me, the right one will come when you least expect it... God always has a way of doing things.

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    • sweethokie21
      10 years ago

      i mean i hope to find a great guy that i wont hesitate with but idk if that will ever happen....

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    • sweethokie21
      10 years ago

      Man...I hope so. Everyone always says that...idk if I still believe that...

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  • Paradiddle
    10 years ago

    I'll be honest here. A lot of what you said went on so many different areas from the actual question that it was hard to stay focused on the topic. Instead I'll answer the question directly: Yes, very normal~ In fact, your exact question is still one of the most asked question on this site. I'll address both things.

    Its better to never have had a boyfriend than going out with 6 test subjects who might not have been right for you and instead know that whoever you do pick is a good choice. Its better to never have "done the deed" than have given in and gotten slipped a STD or producing an offspring early. I'm fine with people having sex whenever they want since its their choice and right but I have also seen people become moms and dads way too early. I say, have fun and don't worry about intercourse so much, it'll fall into place at some point.

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  • peterrabbyt69
    7 years ago

    Have you tried eating cunt yet?

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  • ScaryMelvin
    10 years ago

    It is normal :) I'm a guy and I also consider myself a hopeless romantic. You just have to find the right person, don't worry about not being good at sex because you haven't 'practiced' , It is a wonderful feeling learning about those things with someone you love rather than a drunken one night stand. Me and my girlfriend have developed such a close bond and we're still hopelessly romantic with each other 2 years on. That's not to say experimenting is wrong but if you want the perfect romantic experience, it is out there.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Good luck to you.

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  • ThatCreepyWhiteGuy
    10 years ago

    i would have sex with you but i am currently in a relationship

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    • sweethokie21
      10 years ago

      no thanks...

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    A couple of points.
    Sex is fun, it doesn't have to be with MR. Right or anything else; it can just be for fun!
    Second, being good at sex does NOT come naturally, it takes practice.
    What a shame it would be for you to one day meet MR. Right and you were so bad in bed that you couldn't keep him?
    Everybody is going to say, "if he loves you..." but perhaps he won't at that point and you want him to love you but you do not have the skills?
    Just a couple of thoughts....

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