Is it normal to be 20 and never been kissed?

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23 Comments

So I sit here, looking back at my life, and I am struck by the fact that I've never been kissed. And yes, this leads to the fact that I am still a virgin. But, that is by choice. Being kiss-less for 20 years is really bad. Yes you can chalk this up to being picky, but I think that there is more to it than that. At 20, I have a lot of information about sex, relationships, and dating by observing my friends, people, and my own experience at dating, but I have never really experienced it on my own. In high school I was kinda distant from others, and now in college, it is hard for me to interact with people in the "normal" way. So, in a big way, I have brought this problem on myself. But at 20, I feel that doing this has both hurt me and helped me. I know that when I get into a relationship with someone, I really like that person, and I will be opening myself to heartache. I know that if I let someone even get close enough to kiss me, I really like that person. So, I am kiss-less at 20 because I am afraid to get hurt. But I am so kiss-less because I have never had a guy show interest in me. Or at least, I didn't notice. I think I didn't notice, or the guy didn't understand that I don't know the rules to the games everyone seems to be playing. I have had many crushes in my life, and I have known a lot of guys that I would have probably been interested in, but they couldn't wait. Honestly, I just want someone to like me the way that I am. I am not saying that I want to get married and have kids (afteralll I am only 20) but I want someone to be attracted to me as a woman. I want to be able to kiss and laugh and have fun with the guy that I am interested in, and know that he is interested in me in return. So, I am 20 and kiss-less. Afraid that even when I do find that guy, I'll have to embarass myself and tell him the truth, but maybe I can postpone it for a while. I want to be kissed. I want a guy who likes me to grab me and kiss me for once. I am tired of waiting, and I am resolved to do something about it. Tired of waiting to be kissed. I think I might grab the guy who I am interested in (#35) and kiss him. This guy has beautiful lips. One day. I think I will. =]

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 370 votes (282 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • livelaughlove4
    13 years ago

    I'm in the same situation! Everyone keeps telling me that I'll find that special someone someday but sometimes, I'm doubtful. I always try and stay positive though. :o)

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  • Uglyduckling
    13 years ago

    Hmmm wow i just stumbled on to your story and you know what? i know what you mean!!! I'm in the same situation! Guess i'm not alone neither or you! hehe xD it's okay i think when the time comes... it comes! ^-^
    Cheers~

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  • raider123_
    14 years ago

    first of all, dont play games, listen to statistics, or any of that bullshit. im 18 and i think my girlfriend is the most beautiful person in the world. not just her looks but that she doesnt beat around the bush. no silent treatment bullshit. she doesnt test my will, and she doesnt get jelous cuz i have a shitload of female friends who call me their "best friend". i dont think im a very attractive dude, but i can look at myself in the mirror and not get mad at god or my parents, hahaha! anyway. go out have fun, dont act like a slut, and men (i know i do) find that very respectable.

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  • LoveLess
    15 years ago

    I'm 22 and havent even had a girlfriend lol, never been kissed either, i guess its neither normal or abnormal, just happens.

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  • BlackSheep1
    15 years ago

    I didn't have my first kiss til I was 19. I also know many other people around my age that have never kissed, so I consider you to be normal.

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  • XxMrWoottonxX
    12 years ago

    Damn it! Why should there be a set date? Why are there all these rules? Shouldn't people take things at their own pace because it's their lives? Honestly, this is just like a backwards version of Victorian society. Back then if you were sexually active and lost your virginity before marriage you were shunned; these days it's the other way around. Both are fucking retarded.

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  • tyfus
    14 years ago

    20 is not that old, and to not have kissed anyone at that age is not unusual.

    but.

    your first kiss may not be all shimmery perfect. there are no guarantees for romantic fairytales in real life. and there is no proof of one mr/mrs right. so put your ideals aside, and act on your feelings.
    so you feel like kissing someone? try it! so you didn't end up married? you still experienced something real. something you can only do during this life.

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  • Synopsis
    14 years ago

    If you never take the risk, then you will never be kissed.

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  • Gemcutter
    15 years ago

    There are people in their 40s and 50s who have never been kissed. I predict that relatively soon you will be kissed, because you are now aware of it and, most importantly, you *want it*. And believe me, you'll remember that first kiss forever :)

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    • [Old Memory]
      15 years ago

      those people are underdeveloped socially.

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  • armlin
    15 years ago

    Yes

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  • crazzyy4u
    14 years ago

    yea it just means that your waiting for the perfect person to kiss

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  • Powernoend
    15 years ago

    finish your education then be what you want to be then not you who would like kiss them, it is them who would kiss you.

    kissing is not good for your health hahaha...

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    • cy9293
      14 years ago

      to Powernoend
      not true
      At three kisses a day, every day, that amounts to burning 9855 calories a year

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  • Zara00
    11 years ago

    I only ever pecked a couple boys on the lips until I was 18. I really liked a boy and after meeting up at parties a few times I finally let him kiss me! There was no tongue but it was my first real kiss. I broke up with him bc I was afraid of getting hurt but he wanted me back because I wasn't like every other ho...now we've been dating for 4 years!

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  • KokoroComplex
    12 years ago

    I'm 18 and I never had a boyfriend. Just 1 and a half more years and I'll be in the same boat.

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  • cy9293
    14 years ago

    kiss the guy that would skip class and rush to the hospital when you get into a car accident
    not your dad i mean but like some guy you are close to and not sure if you guys are friends or ya.. you get my point

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  • Chill_Pill
    14 years ago

    Kiss someone but not just ANYONE as suggested by other posters...ewww! Come on! I know that you do not want what some others have in the way of viral diseases. Who wants their first kiss to be accompanied by a raging case of mouth herpes??? Be choosy, you have that right! Just know what you are getting into before you make such an epic choice. I'm not saying to get a background check on potential kissers, just be careful and look for signs of unhealthiness...you wouldn't just share your drink with anyone would you? See it the same way! Good luck...and yes it is normal to not be kissed by the time you are 20, check out the movie with Drew Barrymore, that would have never been made if there weren't more of you out there! Don't be Josey Grossie!!! But do get kissed! It's a blast!

    ~Peace~

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  • peterson344
    15 years ago

    your mom never loved you when you were a kid

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  • Xfing
    13 years ago

    Makin' out sure is fun. I suggest you rush with your plans x)

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  • bimomate
    15 years ago

    Well for your generation maybe but More and more teens and even year onies have been kissing

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  • abcdkg
    15 years ago

    Not to be a dick, but you need to take control of your own path here. If you sit around and wait for it it WONT happen. Seriously, did you see the post about the 40 and 50 yr olds who haven't been kissed? Do you want that to be you.....Don't listen to these other losers telling you its ok. You need to kiss somebody ASAP, it is going to require you making the first move since obviously its not happening the other way....things don't always just work for the best contrary to what these people might tell you. Almost everyone who has accomplished anything has put in their time to make it happen.....I've kissed many women in my lifetime, if you don't learn how to properly kiss you are limiting yourself to the potential men you could ever be with...Trust me, kissing somebody who doesn't know how is VERY unattractive and would never get you another kiss from me or the majority of good looking men for that matter. Lets be honest, sexual attraction is a must for any relationship and that just doesn't get the job done. I know you are thinking "i just want a guy to like me for me", but those days are over my dear, the only way you give that a chance is by bringing something else to the table......Do whatever you need to do, get drunk....grab a stranger.....grow a pair of balls and kiss anyone!!!!!!!!! After your first one, you will figure it out and want more practice

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    • thewyrdest1
      15 years ago

      I know ur right. i'm just too scared to do that. never fear though, i am getting tired of waiting. i've resolved to fix the situation REALLY soon! thanks for the advice. s.

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