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I am almost 21, and I have never gone out with a girl. I feel like a loser. I have had a crush on two girls, but one already had a boyfriend, and I didn't have the guts to ask the other one out. I still don't feel confident enough to ask a girl out. What do I do?
I have been checking out this one dating site called skout, and started conversations with a few girls, but now all the conversations just stopped. I'm the one that starts them, and often times that's as far as it gets.
Well I'm proud of you for putting in the effort. Insecurity and lack of confidence are VERY common problems. Just remind yourself that there is somebody for everybody. People are attracted to self-confidence (as long as is doesn't go so far as to become arrogance/narcissism). Just keep working at it, man. It'll happen with time. Look at it like ripping off a BandAid; just count to three, brace yourself, and talk to her. And never tell yourself that you're a loser; that'll sabotage all your hard work.
Seriously, it comes down to confidence bro. And for starters, DON'T become 'friends', or you will end up thei forever. And once you're in the friend zone, let me tell you, you will never leave. That is Normal. Same goes for guys getting shut down when 'being a nice guy', or being worried what to say because you are 'interested' in her. Which brings me to my next word of advice. Don't let her know you are interested in her. At all. Ever. Tease her. Make yourself come across as the selector, not the selectee. Know that. Then you have balls. She isn't going to be interested in any ***** that she can walk all over. Even the average looking female has at a dozen men approach them everyday with 'something'. How will 'not knowing what to say' be even remotely close to the best thing she has heard that day? It won't. Thing with this is simple; be indifferent. It's not so important to know what should be said, as what NOT to say is. Make yourself stand out. Never seem TOO interested, if interested at all. You gotta leave mystery. Never let them know. Do you want them to walk all over you? It may take some time, and may take some practice, but it'll pay off. And I'm not some supermodel hell I'm not close, but trust me; I have seen what works through my personal experiences in life; my bros as well as others. After enough time you will pick up on what works and why 99%(well, more than the majority at least)of men fail in this department. Women aren't overly worried about looks. Confidence and humour is there thing. Men are like a lightswitch. Women more-so a volume knob. You just have to turn the dial a bit.
A good analogy here: Babe Ruth led the league in Homeruns. Most people forget he also lead the league in Strikeouts.
Key Lesson here: Nobody remembers the Strike-outs, but everyone remembers the Home-runs. Don't take it personal if one girl is not into you. Be secure and confident enough in yourself that it may not be you, it may just be the circumstances that specific girl may be in. This happens more often than you think, so before you go all insecure or feel your ego deflating when you get turned down ONCE, just remember, you are the selector -not the selectee- You decide what-is-what on your terms. Confidence is the key to all my friend. Hope that helps good luck the future is yours.
- Peace
My issue is conversation starters, I don't know what to say first, I don't just want to say "Hey, will you be my girlfriend?".I want to get to know her a little better.
If she wont add u on fb forget her. Get some balls...ask someone out u get a yes or no its not that bad
There is another girl that I like, but I don't know how to start a conversation with her. She was in my ceramics class in high school, and I just reconnected with her.
She was in a couple of classes a semester ago, and I only said 5 words to her, and that was the last day of class. The only way I can talk to her now is through Facebook. I have to mention that it is very difficult for me to talk to girls that I don't know.
Try and make polite conversation with her - where do you know her from? Eg. if she's in the same class as you at uni or something you can have that as an excuse to talk to her (ask about the homework or something).
I'm a girl and I would prefer that over you talking to me on facebook anyway.
And don't ask her out straight away - become friends with her first.
I don't have her #, the only way to get a hold of her is via Facebook, and she won't add me.
Wow, biography of my life so far. Since it seems like we're in the same boat, I'll try and help you.
For the other one you like, why not try and find ways to talk to her? Are there ways you can talk to her more personally...like texting and hanging out? Well if you can, then do it! And if you wait too long, she will more than likely not be interested. So my point is- to just go for it and talk and go from there.