Is it normal to be 23 and be living a boring life w/o good friends?

82% Normal
8 Comments

There are a few things I am unhappy with in my life. For one, I am not satisfied with my job. Although the place is close to home and is conveniently in walking distance, it doesn't do it for me. It's retail and the work is boring to me (fixing sneakers on racks, straightening up clothes on hangers). You get the picture. Although I have some coworkers who are very sociable and easy to talk to, this still doesn't make me want to work there. The people are cool but the job is not.

Also I'm in college. The college I'm in is not the ideal social party school. It's a Liberal Arts fartsy artsy kind of school. I don't really have a choice in transferring because I've already transferred in the past from a school that is so prestigious (Howard University) to a community college which I graduated from last May. Now I am stuck at a college I don't like that much which I will receive my degree in Psych from next year. I feel that I haven't found my niche on campus yet. I actually went to a Hip Hop club meeting but found that it wasn't really what I thought it would be. I'm not in any other clubs and this semester I was just the guy who went to classes and the library. No fun stuff! It sucks. I don't have any good guy friends there nor do I know any hot girls. I feel like an outcast right now, completely solo dolo. I often have thoughts about leaving Howard University and wish I did not. Although this is in the past (left in 2010) I often still think about it and deeply wish I never did. I regret leaving a school that had so much opportunity for social growth (many clubs and organizations).

I feel that my life is not the way i want it to be. I don't have a girlfriend or friend I can chill with and cuddle up with. No sex right now and i'm ready. It's frustrating. Haven't had sex since 2009!

Also I feel like I have some fresh clothes but what are fresh clothes when the person wearing them isn't living the life of a don?

I do have one good friend who I befriended at my job but no other homies I hang out with on a regular basis. HELP!!! I'm a lonely 23 year old and time is ticking! I need to live it up and meet some new friends before I get old:( Haven't even had any parties for my birthday in the past because I don't' have many friends. It's a little sad.

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 55 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Janie2T
    10 years ago

    I guess that's normal. Sounds a lot like me.

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  • amaterasu
    10 years ago

    I guess it is normal, but you shouldn't feel so bad about it. I am sure that you will certainly enjoy your life after your 23s, I have met many people that finally got the job they liked and the friends they always wanted after 30.

    Just keep going on and things will hopefully get better!

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  • CheyChey
    10 years ago

    Same. I don't have friends My 21st birthday never happened because I refused a party or anything because I have no friends which sucks. I totally get you. I have no advice to give you because I'm in the same situation as you and I don't even know what to do anymore.

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  • Half_Shock
    10 years ago

    You're 23, you've passed your prime and life is basically over.

    On a more serious note, go to the campus gym, unless you are the most socially inept guy on the planet you will make friends and meet pretty girls. Don't know what the hell you are doing? Great! Most people there are happy to help and love to teach newbies, because they were new and clueless once too and someone helped them.

    Every time I move I sign up at the local gym and within a few days/weeks I have a new group of friends.

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    • Shackleford96
      10 years ago

      ^Excellent advice (and sarcasm).

      I agree.

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  • Doglvrzoo
    10 years ago

    Is it normal, in the aggregate of the population as a whole yes. Life if, and has always been, boring for most people. In fact H.D. Thoreau once wrote that most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Meaning that the outward lives men and women are stuck with by enlarge make them scream inside at regular intervals. Excitement is rare, hence that's why its exciting. But excitement rarely just happens to someone. You have to go out and find it for yourself. Because not everything is going to be exciting to you. Like the hip hop club for instance, I am sure it was exciting to a lot of the other member, just not to you. So do beat yourself up because you are not a Youtube/X-games/internet superstar being asked to all the great parties. Find out what excites you and get involved.

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  • Jayyyniine
    10 years ago

    Forgot something, the fresh clothes. You cant doubt yourself like that! Maybe people will notice you, and see potential. What matters is only what you think of how you look. Always show what people are missing out on, make someone take a double take! It'll also boost your confidence :)

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  • Jayyyniine
    10 years ago

    You're 23, still early in your twenties. You're prime and life arent over (what a terrible thing to say) until you make it over. Even though I'm only 19, I'm experiencing similar things. I've come to accept that people come and go, and someday there will be some that stick around. Don't be too hard on yourself, sometimes its easier for others, that's just how life is.

    For the job, perhaps seeking a new job. Maybe look on craigslist for non-mainstream jobs.

    The school environment is a great place to start socializing. In highschool I barely had friends because I didn't dress like everyone or drank and had parties. That all changed when I started college. I made plenty of friends, just by being myself and making an effort in class. I was miss little social butterfly and my personality bloomed. You have to start somewhere. Maybe not the first day, but make an effort to speak up.

    As for the girlfriend, one day it'll happen. Try to be patient, you will find the one, or she will find you. It's too bad the media glorifies early marriage and stuff like that. Put it this way, you're too young to really want to settle. Ride the wave of your life and stay afloat wherever it takes you. Have patience, nice guys (unfortunately) finish last, but with a nice prize.

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