Is it normal to be 30+ and to never have had a girlfriend?

27 Comments

Well now I'm almost 31. I've not had the best luck when it comes to women, I have tried almost everything from pubs and clubs, to joining clubs/groups, speed dating, online dating. Still nothing ever happened. Went on one or two dates from online dating sites, which were disasters.

So the dates I went on, I was flat out asked if I had ever had a girlfriend before, because the women could see just how shy and nervous I was becoming. I tried to tell a little white lie about it, that I didn't have much time for dating, that I was working a couple of jobs, and that I'd been single for a while, but they saw right through it. When I told them that I'd actually never been in a relationship, they freaked out and humiliated me in front of a restaurant full of people, by saying things like "You're just wasting my time. Don't want to have to teach a man about love and relationships that he should learnt as a boy about 15 years ago."

Are these women right? Is this really not normal? Is there any point in trying anymore?

You're normal 22
Don't worry, you'll find somebody one day 54
You're a little bit weird 19
You're creepy 2
You're pathetic and going to die alone 14
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Comments ( 27 )
  • dudecalmdown
    11 years ago

    Dude my cat has nver had a girlfiend either but he died so try to have sex soon i guess

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      That is funny as hell.

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  • RockerRoseanne
    11 years ago

    My brother is 21 and has never had a girlfriend, my sister often jokes he is gay. He hasn't had a boyfriend either.

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  • Doktor_Hildred_Von_Steinmann
    11 years ago

    That woman was a bitch, doesn't mean you shouldn't keep trying though. Never give up, you'll find the right person eventually. I assure you.

    Yours truly,

    Doktor Hildred Von Steinmann

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  • Mmmpfh
    11 years ago

    Well it's not the norm to never have had a girlfriend at that age, but it does happen and it's not something people should mistreat you for. Sounds like you're looking for the wrong women cause she sounds like a biiiiitch!

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  • likesototallyomg
    11 years ago

    Okay, I don't know the exact situation, but considering the fact that they saw "right through" your lies, they probably thought you were pathetic (sorry, just being honest), and that's why they "freaked out and humiliated" you. If you had rather said something like, "nah, I've never been lucky with women" or just a simple "no", I'd imagine things would have gone down a bit better.

    It's not about what you've got, but how you portray it that matters. Just be comfortable with yourself, accept your flaws, be honest about who you are, and have some pride. But unless you gain some confidence, I don't see any of this improving...

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Go to church, lots of loose women in church. You will know they are easy by how much they are sweating.

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  • Corleone
    11 years ago

    I think the main turnoff for these women is your nervousness. You shouldn't get too emotionally invested in a woman you've only been on one date with.

    Try to feel more comfortable in your own skin. If you're easy-going, your dates will be a lot more fun. The more confident you are, the less those women will mind that you're inexperienced.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    "pubs and clubs, to joining clubs/groups, speed dating, online dating."

    Because those are the worst places to meet women.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Well what places do you suggest meeting women then? Cause I'm fresh out of ideas.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        House parties, the street, supermarket, work. And i'm not taking the piss, i'm dead serious.

        In that order. Better chicks in those places if you look, and besides, the clubs are where the "sluts" and "std infected garbage" hang out. The single ones are often there BECAUSE no one gives a fuck about dating them, and there are reasons for that.

        It may be easier for me as i'm somewhat of a social predator, in the nicest possible way ofcourse. But try it out.

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          No offense but the first two suggestions are terrible, house parties are pretty much over by the mid to late 20's, at least for normal people. The street is just ridiculous, who meets relationship material on the street?

          The supermarket has some potential, but not only do you have to guess right (in the female being single) you have to progress past the "small talk" stage the OP already mentioned.

          Work has potential as well, but its awful risky. Never shit where you eat, and work is bad enough as it is without the awkwardness of a failed relationship adding to it.

          I suggest maybe a gym membership, trying for a local "hip" place. Probably a good chance at single women there, plus if they are working out they most likely look decent, and care about how they look.

          Other then that I dont know, I am in the same boat as OP.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            You're in the same boat as the OP and you criticise my ideas, lol. Everyone walks on the street so lots of relationship material. And by house parties i ment get togethers of many types, it's very broad and common unless you're a very dull adult. The suggestions are terrible for you maybe, i suggested them because they all work for me, and work well. I did say it might be easier for me though, everyone's different after all.

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            • [Old Memory]
              11 years ago

              So you basically walk around on the street walking up to people and talking to them about nothing in particular? Lol, how does that work out for you?

              If by "house party" you mean a more adult gathering where there is perhaps a chance mutual friends can set you up with someone then I can agree with that, I guess by reading "house party" I assumed some 20 yr old keg standing drunk fest, great for getting laid, not for finding a relationship.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          House parties, no.
          The street, no. I can make small talk with random women, but that's all I can get.
          Supermarket, no. Same as above, small talk and that's as far as I ever get.
          Work, no.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            "I can make small talk with random women, but that's all I can get."

            Well that means it's not the place but your verbal techniques that are lacking, try getting some help with that. I'm not having a go, it's just that if i can do it there's no reason anyone else can't.

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  • Xaved
    11 years ago

    Just try try & try my friend

    Dig the earth till you get the goldmine........ Don't loose hope..

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  • Devilsno1angel
    11 years ago

    Thts perfectly normal my brother is 23 straight and still a virgin never had a gf or bf im glad in a way i want him to find someong special he deserves it and im sure uu do to dnt give she is out there somewhere xx

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  • Marisol
    11 years ago

    No, it isn't. Since you want a relationship; and if you want to achieve your goal, then you need to work on yourself. Read techniques about attracting women and talking to women, online. Obviously, something isn't right. I think it might be that you still haven't met the right person.

    Try libraries; go to cafes(see if any girl catches your eye); bookshops; go to places of interest to you. Do you like flowers? Go to flower shows, or gardens.

    Being shy gets in the way of any person trying to create a connection with the other. Take it easy; I know it is hard.

    What kind of a woman are you looking for? Why didn't it work out with others? Seeing that that particular woman rejected you based on your inexperience, maybe your taste in women should be reconsidered.

    Never judge a book by its cover. I know that people say this all the time, but the real person will accept you for you. When that will happen is half up to you as you cannot make someone like you or love you. Go with the flow, and if anything does happen work at it in order to succeed. The point here is to give in = if you happen to meet a girl that you like, try treating her as a friend. Accept yourself for who you are; women like that.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    11 years ago

    Those women are snobs. Nobody should ever make you feel bad for not ever having a girlfriend. They're just stuck up. Just because you haven't been in a relationship yet doesn't mean theres something wrong with you. And you're not the only one either. I know a few people right around the same age as you that are in search of someone to settle down with, and who haven't really been in a relationship before besides a few dates here and there. Nothing to feel bad about though.

    I think it actually says something great about you as a person. It just means that you're looking at this seriously. You want someone thats gonna actually be worth it. You're not gonna just go with anyone, and thats admirable. Don't let snotty women like them bring you down. You'll find somebody, and even if it happens a couple years from now, or even 10 years from now, you'll know it was actually worth it. Best wishes!

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  • saddenedunicorn
    11 years ago

    My ex was 28 when I met him and I was his first girl friend. I loved and still love him with all my heart. He was the only man that knew how to treat me right after all my previous boyfriends. It did end but only because of other issues non related to us.

    I personally think those women are missing out!

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  • KeddersPrincess
    11 years ago

    These women sound like bitches. Keep your head up. I do believe you will find someone, you just haven't found the right one for you. For some people, iit takes longer to find someone than it does with others. We are all different. But when you do find a girl for you, I hope that she is not nearly as bastardly as the women you've dated. They don't have a right to say what they said to you. You are normal, and there is nothing wrong with you. You're just a late bloomer is all.

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  • chaky92
    11 years ago

    No matter how ugly wierd or akward you may be there will always be a girl out there just as bad as you, you'll find one, try being less shy

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  • Darkoil
    11 years ago

    As if that really happened.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Well it did. It wasn't a pleasant experience. A lot of people think the same way you do, "as if something like that could ever happen." Since it hasn't happened to you, personally, then there's no chance of you being able to see it from my perspective, because there is no way you can relate to my experience.

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