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When I hear that somebody died and there is a funeral, I almost never go. Even if it's somebody that was really close to me.
For me, death is very personal. We all had our own relationship with the deceased, and we all have limits in dealing with it. We also grieve in different ways, and my way is usually very private. I don't want to be in a crowd, having to worry about what/what not to say or do. I mean, who's up for that? I can do it, but it's just my showing face.....not grief. Don't let anyone make you feel wrong for not going to funerals.
I dont normally want to go just because they are so boring, but I end up going to pay my respects(bored the whooollle time)
I have attended numerous funerals and even was chosen to do pallbearer 3 times in a row in one year yet no weddings or any other happy occasion to break the constant emotional low. I now refuse to go to another funeral unless I go to at least 6 weddings or other such occasion. Putting both parents and one aunt in the ground made me realize that. So, if I'm viewed as being an uncaring, cold asshole...so be it, I have had enough. I say go and attend but you should be invited to a positive, happy event in return. Life is not all about death; birth and marriage see forms of life.
i try to avoid funerals because i just don't know what to say to the family. it's not that i don't care, i just know the right thing to say.
I do not go to funerals either. People think I am an asshole. I think it's because I don't want to cry and lose control in front of people. I feel mortified when I cry, even if I am alone. That's messed up.
maybe you have your own reason avoiding to make it at funeral, but it isnt very kind action toward the dead one. you certainly dont have to go to someone you do not really know, but you should go when its someone really close to you.. like your family or best friend.