Is it normal to associate with all genders while engaged?

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18 Comments

My ex-fiance gets jealous of every relationship I have. I moved to her city because I work from home. She gets jealous of my female employees and friends to the point that we have almost seperated. I have never cheated on any girlfriend ever nor with her, yet she accuses me of sleeping with over 10 girls in 2 years. I work from home she sees me everyday throughout the day. The first was her friend of 10 years that she told me to hire, then the mother of my children and so on. Now she has asked me to take down facebook, I cannot hire any more woman to work for me when I am moving to my new office. Her mother and a male colleague I work with are here and she is still convinced I am having an affair. All the above have relationships. She asking that I do not speak to my friend Lisa of 20 years nor any other girls. She says men that are involved do not call other woman. because I have never lived like this before.Am I being a bad partner by keeping my friends??

Voting Results
35% Normal
Based on 17 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • alv1592
    12 years ago

    What did you mean by "all" genders? There are only two so the correct term would be both, unless you count hermaphrodites, trannies, etc...lol but to answer your question OP, it sounds like she's too paranoid. As long as you're not cheating on her it's okay to have friends.

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    • loanmman
      12 years ago

      Thats funny. You are right and you caught it. It was a joke for my fiance to see cause she doesn't refer to them as woman. Another species!!! I actually laugh now to keep from going insane but the relationship is even more humorous. I am a straight vanilla guy she is an ex swinger. Can you see the humor here as to why I cannot understand the whole jeaslousy on her part. I am not a jealous person and just cannot figure out how I am to make love to all these woman ,her, work 12 hours a day have three kids occasionally, employees and still be alive. I pay all the bills and think is god getting humor teasing a non jealous scorpio? lol

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  • Ono
    12 years ago

    It's up to you if you let someone totally dominate what you do. Her behavior is certainly not reasonable. Given the excessive amount of control she demands then I doubt she will will change, I doubt she even thinks her behavior is unusual or unreasonable. Is she worth giving up contact with everyone else?

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      I agree 100%

      It is often hard for partners (or exes) to realise that none of us OWN anyone else. You should be busy enough running her own life without taking over yours too.

      Don't give in to this nonsense or she'll lose all respect for you, as you'll be a fool and a doormat. Once you've lost all your friends you will become boring to her too.

      If I were you ... I'd run for my life!!
      Escape while you can and dump her!!
      You are guaranteed a miserable life :o(

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      • loanmman
        12 years ago

        we just read this one together. I loved it she is very quiet. She has to its my birthday today lol it really is 11-17

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        • joybird
          12 years ago

          haha - bet that's given her food for thought.

          I hate taking the responsibility for other people's lives so maybe she needs a dog to look after.

          I once saw my husband, when he was a bf, watching me talking to an ex in a club. I got my coat and left for home. A few minutes later he noticed I'd left and came running down the road after me. I was like, "WTF! How dare you! I'll talk to whoever I like!" He learnt to accept that and we've been together 28 years.

          This has made me laugh at some of the memories ... I went out with a guy on a first date to a club and was dancing with this other guy I knew. The first one said, "What are doing dancing with him when you came with me?" haha. Is that right?! I leaned over to the girl beside me and said, "See that coat over that chair? Lift it and meet me in the hall." haha I did my usual and legged it down the road for a taxi :o)

          I always liked to lay down the rules at the start - like it or I leg it ;o)

          I believe we judge people as we live ourselves, so maybe she's a sex maniac who would cheat. Personally, I wouldn't and my hubby knows that. My husband drops me down to the pub / club to go out with a bunch of lads he's never even met! My friends, not his! Honestly, I swear to you!

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          • loanmman
            12 years ago

            I am totally laughing right now at this and truly appreciate the hope we now have Well ours is a severe case and yes she is quiet again but at least I see the possibilty. Our counselor said in our fourth meeting have you considered seperating. This is pre-marital counseling. I almost burst into laughter but being that it is not diplomatic at the time. i held it in. I llike your advice and have tried that but we have aquired quite a lot together because I didn't have any other reason to spend money till now. LOL so we are finding this to be quite uncomfortable. She is listening now and realizes how serious this is which is good but everything I have read the net says we are SOL.

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            • joybird
              12 years ago

              What do you mean that you have tried?

              And what do you mean...."but we have aquired quite a lot together because I didn't have any other reason to spend money till now."

              I seriously hope you're not saying you are together coz you have a few possessions together!! Jeez!! Things can be dumped or forgotten - be careful, she doesn't get pregnant to trap you there! Big mistake on her part!

              Good for you getting counseilling but I would've laughed! I find this a bit like management training, what they're advised sticks for 6 weeks then it's back to the original personality :o( I just think she needs her own counseilling for trust issues.

              If I was her I would be VERY VERY careful!!
              Just had a thought, maybe she is very young / immature / didn't go out with many other guys before you...

              Otherwise she would know, that if a woman yaks on and on and on accusing a man of something, eventually the man thinks to himself, "Oh well, I may as well get hung for a sheep as for a lamb!" In other words, if I'm going to get moaned at for cheating, I may as well. At least that way the man has a chance of meeting someone half sensible ;o)

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  • lbntuk
    12 years ago

    She could be cheating on you......research psychology. If I was you, I would check up on that.

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  • Gigglefries
    12 years ago

    Ditch the bitch.

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  • lovebuzz1025
    12 years ago

    If it bothers her and you love her you would stop. However she seems pretty clingy.

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    • loanmman
      12 years ago

      You are right. I do like the clingy part just not the you slept my best friend BS. If I was I wouldn't be stupid enough to do that. JK lol

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Wow.

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  • NothingxCrazy
    12 years ago

    Be friends with whoever you want if that's how you feel.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    There's your problem... she's snooping your facebook

    She should perhaps read Ms Manners who has written that it's perfectly acceptable to have friendships outside of marriage - including friendships with other genders.

    However it seems that your woman is determined to assume that any female you associate with is going to be in your bed....

    What benefits do you get from a relationship where she has already decided you are a liar and a cheater?

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  • flax
    12 years ago

    She's guilty of something being that she's that paranoid.

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    • Dad
      12 years ago

      Another jealous person. Lol

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  • Dad
    12 years ago

    Your EX fiance' gets jealous?

    Please inform her that you are not together and therefore you're thinking about being with 10 girls tonight.

    You may have heard the saying jealousy is a curse?

    The reason this saying exists, is because not everyone is the jealous type (thankfully), but the ones that are will ALWAYS be jealous, and the ONLY way to help this is by them not acting on their wrongful jealousy EVER, even when they're really old.

    Anyone, including partners, other sociable friends, can do whatever they like. Jealousy will NEVER help your partner or you, and will always be difficult for the one that MUST hold in their jealousy for the best for all concerned for the rest of their life!

    People who are jealous NEED to be aware that they have a bad incurable condition that can only be helped by knowing it exists but never showing anyone.

    Jealousy is a curse.

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