Is it normal to ask my cousin for sex or anything like that
So my cousin is very attractive but is it normal when she's around I get a boner and would like to ask her to jerk me off and do more than just that? So we have sleepovers at our Grandma's house because it's fun and we've been doing it since kids. My brother which is a year older than me and my cousin always falls asleep first and we always talk about stuff and this last time I was gonna ask her to jerk me off because I find her really attractive but I was to scared on what she'll say because if she says no I won't know what to do so this next time we have a sleep over I might want to ask her to do it because she might want to do it to but if she says no it would be all awkward and I might want to say "hah just kidding" in a scratchy scared voice that might want her to not talk to me. Whenever I'm over at her house I like to got to the bathroom and search around if she left like a pair of panties or bra in there because one time she did and I sniffed it and jerked off to them. And if she goes downstairs I like to search through her hamper and find some panties and bras and sniff. Its weird but she's very attractive if you saw her you would do the same. I also sometimes bring up some weird times and she might get aroused and look at my dick. I might want to ask her this,"Hey so now that I might be going out with this girl soon wanna show me how you girls work so I don't embarrass myself the first time we do it. It can also give you some practice I see people drooling over you too." That's good and also this is weird but I found condoms in my grandmas bathroom in the basement (were we sleep and not my grandma) so I might grab one of those and start to hide it so at night I can easily grab it without the noise. One thing my dick isn't the biggest so I'm scared what she'll say about that too. Also its dark in the basement and when I cum its huge I can drop a 25 year old load if I wanted to. And to make it last I'll have her suck me until I almost cum. Then I'll play with her pussy and eat it out. Then she'll suck me again and if she wants we'll fuck and then I'll use the condom but I want her to swallow my cum. Also is it weird that it is my first cousin. I really want your advice guys.