Is it normal to appear smart but you're not really smart?

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4 Comments

It seems like when it comes to the opposite sex, I attract smart, mature guys which of course I like. Those are my type. But the truth is Im not that smart lol. I wish I was but I'm not. In fact, I have some kind of mental disorder but I haven't checked it out. So anyways, they eventually find out I'm not as bright like they thought. Yes it kind of sucks cause Im attracted to them and I do believe Im smart but I know I can be slow so I just kick myself every time. And no its not just any blonde moment.I think at the end of the day I just carry myself pretty well but once it comes to like more in depth things I'm kinda slow :( My last bf was really smart and it just turned me on how he was curious and liked to talk about a lot of things as opposed to me, I just didn't know what to talk about with him. If anything, I learned a lot from him. So we are still in contact ish...so I thought eventually I wanna let him know how much he means to me including how much I liked learning from him. Do you think that would be a turn off for him? Knowing I don't know much so I relied on him? or hell like that I find him interesting in the aspect? In general though, I'm just kind of over letting all these really great guys down when they find out I'm not that smart.

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Based on 24 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Freedom_
    7 years ago

    Maybe it's not your lack of smarts that lets them down, but rather your insecurities about not being quite on their intellectual level. I like a guy with brains but most of the guys I ended up being attracted to were not at the top of the class or anything. Finding joy in learning new things is usually enough for me, in regards to this. Besides, people are smart in different ways. Focus on yourself for a bit and I'm sure you will find ways in which you are smart as well.

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  • riffraffy
    7 years ago

    If it helps, no guy has ever gotten a stiffy from a girl solving for the limit of a multivariable calculus equation. Much of the attraction men have for women is centered around women being weaker than they are.

    As for your question: everyone loves to be appreciated. Everyone loves to feel important—it's a basic human need. So making him feel important will hardly lose you any attraction!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Yeah but some take advantage when theyre being appreciated and don't appreciate it back.

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      • riffraffy
        7 years ago

        Giving appreciation should cost you nothing, and only gain you potential friends and better relationships. So give freely and get out of the mindset of who gives what and how much.

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