Is it normal to always want to be with ur man even if ur arguing

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3 Comments

my boyfriend and i have been together a little over a year now and weve been neighbors all our lives. yes ive had other relationships where ive noticed my obsessive tendencies but its never been this bad. we love eachother madly but fight alot over what some would think is pety. ex..porn,checking girls out,flirting,never wanting to talk...ect. we live right next to eachother and i love the convienience of always seeing him everyday ,but he wants to see me as well. one problem i know adds to us fighting is, we drink. whenever i get mad i try and talk and he just walks away..so passively, i dont want him to argue just act like he cares and mean it. i mean i do. even if were fighting over something hes in the wrong in, and i build the balls to get up and leave, a few minutes later im doubting myself for leaving. ..i miss him when hes mad happy sad away here there, i dont mind bieng with him but i feel it bugs him sometimes.i miss him now. we just fought earlier and again i feel at fault! please help me fix us!tx

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60% Normal
Based on 25 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • zilla
    12 years ago

    I voted yes, that what you feel about wanting to be with him even when you're arguing is relatively normal. I also agree with the other person who said it sounds like convenience, though I don't want to go so far as to say it isn't love. That's for you two to decide.

    That said, you two need to learn how to fight fair even when it's something trivial. Figure out what triggers you both and set ground rules.

    First - you said you know for a fact that drinking leads to problems in your relationship. Considering that is the first thing you mentioned as fuel to the fire, I think you guys should figure out what to do about that.

    Secondly - when people walk away "passively" it is usually out of frustration. My guess is that he is walking away because he either 1) feels attacked 2) feels like the argument is going in circles and he's exhausted or 3) he feels like he can't make you happy.

    My guess is that he cares about you just as much as you care about him. But you should really look up ideas for fighting fairly. You clearly care a lot - and I am in no way putting blame on you - but there comes a point where no matter how much a man loves you, if he feels he can't make you happy, he will give up.

    So, do some research and pick a good time (DEFINITELY WHEN YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING) to tell him that it seems like you guys should work on how to deal with conflict - tell him what you learned and see if anything lands.

    Good luck!

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    You're young, inexperienced, clingy and no challenge for this man. Get some pride and stop doing this.

    Stop drinking if you're going to fight.
    Give him some space and go and do something else.

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  • lc1988
    12 years ago

    There are some things that just can't be fixed. Sounds more of a convenience thing than love.

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