Is it normal to act rotten the more you get to know someone?

37% Normal
13 Comments

So here's the problem...

For the past 3-4 years, I've been having many problems with the people around me. The pattern is always the same.

First, I get close to someone who is nice. Then I get to know him/her better. Next, we start chatting and people will start noticing that we're becoming buddies. And then...

I started hating them. I pick out their flaws, hate them for being who they are, get jealous over what she/he has that I don't, feel superior etc etc...

Then comes to the point where I started avoiding them. I will try to keep distance, the other party will then notice and will get upset and will avoid me too. And in the end, I'm all alone again with no friends at all.

The problem is how I keep on doing this over and over again. Not just once, but twice, and I'm afraid it'll happen thrice. I do feel bothered when people get too close to me, but is it normal for me to hate them like I previously described? They were actually nice people... I'm the one who keeps on doing that...

Getting to know each other, then I'll start hating, then we'll be strangers... It's a vicious cycle repeating over and over again! And it's mostly because of me!

Can I categorize myself as a misanthrope(people who hate/distrust mankind)? Or do I have some sort of psychological disorder?

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 51 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Sounds like fun wanna be friends?

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    • Eleria
      10 years ago

      You won't like it, I can guarantee that.

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  • oreoiscream
    10 years ago

    I'm no psychiatrist but I think you need to give people a chance.

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    • Eleria
      10 years ago

      Give a chance? You mean trying to act as if I like them, even though I keep on thinking about all the negative attributes he/she has whenever he/she is around?

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    You don't have to have a disorder to be like this, you should talk to a therapist either way, it would help. They can help you with your pattern of thinking.

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  • Shnaz
    10 years ago

    You begin disliking them subconsciously because they secretly hated you from the beginning.

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  • ccjigsaw
    10 years ago

    Well, you've found the problem, now find the solution! The solution being... stop being such a dick.

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  • Browniegirl3
    10 years ago

    Wow that's so weird. I have the same problem! I have an incredibly difficult time getting close to people! I'm still trying to figure it out. Is there something in your past friendships that made you hesistant to keep a long relationship? Don't focus in on the negative qualities. Everybody's got them. Have you accepted yourself for who you are? I realized that I did not accept myself and was too critical of myself and ended up being critical about others. You have to accept yourself and know yourself before you accept others. Life is about loving others and having relationships. Trust me if you don't have that you will never be happy in the long run.

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  • brittcr
    10 years ago

    This is definitely not oppositional defiant disorder...I also don't think you are a misanthrope. It sounds like a trust issue; in which case, it might help to keep a journal and actively analyze and reflect on your relationships and interactions with others. It helps me to focus on enjoying the present. I try not get too involved with what happened yesterday or might happen tomorrow.

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  • DangerousPotatoGuy
    10 years ago

    wow, that sounded like me and I hate that part when I become soo resentful I've tried being nice but doesn't seem to work

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    • Eleria
      10 years ago

      Cheers! I'm not alone! But seriously, is this a mental disorder or something?

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      • DangerousPotatoGuy
        10 years ago

        I tried looking it up and I ended up with OD but it wasn't that convincing you can check it Oppositional Disorder

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Sounds like date rape psychosis to me. You probably need to go to a rape survivors group.

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