Is it normal? thought my ex ghosted me but

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21 Comments

For 6 months now I thought my ex ghosted me. I texted him twice and never got a reply back so texted a third time and heard nothing.

Cried myself to sleep every night for 2 months then saw him with a new girl for 4 months and cried even harder.

He reaches out last night via email.

"Hi Emma I just wanted to say I hope you're alright. I know time has passed and I never got to write back but since I didn't hear from you again , I knew you were done so i moved on. It hurt a lot and I cried myself to sleep nearly every night for weeks. That is the only reason I tried to move on and date the girl you saw in my photos and posts. I still thought of you every day and it took a lot for me to get with her but I miss you. I'm not happy without you and nothing ever seemed fully right and I realize it's because I'm without you. I'm sorry for whatever I did. Please send me a message back , I'd love to hear from you. I never stopped loving you."

Seriously what is this??? I had to go to therapy because being ghosted messed me up so bad. I can't even believe this can you? Iin?

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25% Normal
Based on 8 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • LornaMae
    5 years ago

    All I have to say is that such an apology simply saying "I'm sorry for whatever I did." is completely unacceptable.

    If someone doesn't really know what they've done or refuses to acknowledge whatever it was they're not truly apologizing and owning up to it and being accountable for their actions and decisions.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Do you think they should have wrote back then? Because after the message I got from them I felt like they think I ghosted them even though the last text was me asking to hear from them..it wasn't up to me right? I have been made to feel like I ghosted them now..is me not texting more ghosting?

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      • factcheck
        5 years ago

        That’s How’s to Manipulate Someone 101.

        Make you think it’s your fault they did something terrible to you and not only will you not hold them accountable for their shitty behavior, you’ll feel bad for what you did and want to make it up to them. Win-win for them.

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      • LornaMae
        5 years ago

        I think it's a blatant lie, but you seem to want to believe it. That's not only ghosting but gaslighting, too.

        You not texting then or now? Now it's hardly ghosting, just keeping things as they are -- over.

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    • CozmoWank
      5 years ago

      "But please, Baby, Baby pleeeeease!!......"

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      • LornaMae
        5 years ago

        Haha! Sadly, that one works too often!

        I finally learned that "No! You're a horrible human being! Shoo!" works waaaay better!

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        • CozmoWank
          5 years ago

          "But, but I promise to act like I enjoy your Pumpkin Spice Tuna Noodle Casserole with chocolate chips. You'll see. It'll be different this time."

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          • LornaMae
            5 years ago

            "And you believed that's my family secret recipe???? It's our German lime layer cake and you will NEVER eat it! Have a nice life."

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  • drat
    5 years ago

    Dude stop posting this! What the hell.

    edit: Oh, you're posing as the girl this time. So does your "ex" use this website too?

    https://www.isitnormal.com/post/normal-to-constantly-think-about-my-ex-since-i-ghosted-her--274877

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Not me

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    I really hope you are trolling, because if this real you need to move on with your life.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Why? This whole time my family and I thought he ghosted me and didn't care now I just got a second email off him saying he will do anything to get me back he hasn't been able to move on etc

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Well, if you think it's what you have to do, but I can't think of any logical reason why someone would not recieve multiple text messages from a certain number unless that number was blocked, or something. Anyway, just do whatever you want to do.

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        • McBean
          5 years ago

          So anyway, Rose, I need a second opinion here. I would say that ghosting is not a sign of strength of character. In fact, it indicates just the opposite. And, denying anyone reasonable closure for the benefit of your own convenience is a serious indicator that the boyfriend "uses" all people unless he is afraid of them. Ghosting maybe necessary in physically abusive relationships, or if the boyfriend is a pissed off lawyer. But ghosting is serious indicator of poor identity, and poor potential for any kind of success at healthy intimacy.

          What's your take?

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            I had a long drawn out and very detailed response to your question. Unfortunately my phone ate it. It used to not do this. Perhaps this has something to do with a recent upgrade?

            Anyway, I don't think ghosting someone is very nice, but it's certainly not the worst thing in the world to do. I understand that most people want closure when it comes to the end of a relationship, but sometimes that's not possible, and I hesitate to say that anyone deserves closure. I think this is something that I would want to judge on a case by case basis. I think the most important thing for the person who is being ghosted to do is to move on with his, or her life rather than pine away for closure with the other party. Regardless of the circumstances moving on is the best course of action.

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            • McBean
              5 years ago

              Yup. There seem to be lots of links on Google to articles discussing how to move on despite the emotions fighting against this course of action.

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  • mOsTnOrMAlPersanEVEr22782xD
    5 years ago

    I personally try to think the best of people, him contacting you back shows that he cares again for some reason. It could easily have been a coincidence that he didn't see your messages, or got a new phone or something else like that.
    I don't want to give bad advice, but honestly giving others another chance is the most fair thing to do. Then if he ever tries it again, you will know for a fact that he is manipulative and not worth the risk again.

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  • jethro
    5 years ago

    You should have called him. That's what the phone is for.

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  • JD777
    5 years ago

    Hmmm. I’m not sure I’m buying his story. Careful. He already proved he could be a hurtful ass.

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  • TerriAngel
    5 years ago

    Be a racist, I mean raceist.
    Um. Race car driver.
    Tear off those damn rear view mirrors.
    Whats behind doesn't matter.
    Only the road ahead.
    I could tell you some really messed up stories of girl who thought.
    ' oh, he's changed.
    He's REALLY sorry, this time.
    It wasn't his fault.
    Thingsll be different, he promised.
    Save yourself a lot of hurt.
    Block him, ignore him, and move on.

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