Is it normal the way things are going between us?

64% Normal
8 Comments

I'm a 1st year student at university. My closest friend of the 1st year, J***, told me about two months ago that he "liked" me.

I eventually gathered that this meant he wanted to be my boyfriend.

Now, we had an unusually good friendship. I've never been so close to guy before in my entire life (other then my dad, of course). I used to playfully nickname him 'Brother'-well, thats because I'm a real hippie inside and any one THAT close to me becomes sort of sacredly admitted as my blood-kin.

I digress-so I told him you know J*** I love you as a person, I truly do...but I don't know if I want to be your lover (excuse my romantic vocabulary!). Now two months on he's giving me the cold shoulder, we never hang out any more, he seems to want to get away from me when ever I walk into the room...

I just feel really wounded by his behaviour. It's like he was only ever interested in me for THAT reason, and all our "friendship" has been a lie. Will this die down eventually? How can I make things easier for the both of us? What does he want?

I'm leaving university in three months to do other things, and I don't want to lose him as a friend.

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 45 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • eliz4
    13 years ago

    His heart is broken. I can't imagine he's going to be able to face you comfortably again. I doubt all of his feelings toward you were romantic at first but now that they've grown to that and you said no, he's embarrassed and heartbroken. Give him his space. He might chill out... Might not. My guess is not. At least not for a long while.

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  • Juvu.Lotus
    13 years ago

    Thank you for your helpful comments everyone. :)
    There was a very awkward moment recently. I'm practically nocturnal-so I was up late one night, writing, and I went to get some coffee in the kitchen. He's my flatmate (didn't mention it before) and so we share a kitchen. Suddenly he just came in, looking for water I think, topless. I just didn't know how to react. Obviously neither of us expected to see each other there. It was really quite odd. I noticed he gets on really well with the others in our flat...just not me anymore.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    It could be that he just needs some space to get over you. Give him that space, and if he's worth keeping as a friend, strike up your old friendship in a few months.

    Put yourself in his shoes: You have a friend that you fall in love with, but they don't reciprocate your feelings. What would you do? What would you want to happen?

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  • chaosdragoon1
    13 years ago

    Romantic vocabulary? Be proud. It's better than hearing "I like like you" from a 24 year old. Lol

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  • sav10ur
    13 years ago

    I was in a very similar situation except I was the one who got let down by her. I don't see her anymore but it's not because she only meant a relationship to me, she was truly My bestfriend but I ignore her because I can't stand to be around her because she means so much to me and it hurts to know she's not into me. If you want this guy back, give him a reaction. He wants you to miss him.

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  • wreckd
    13 years ago

    I think he feels wounded by your let down. I honestly can't know whether he only intended on being with you romantically. I know when I get hurt, I try to stay away from the person as much as possible no matter how much I really want to be around them.

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  • HSVWHO
    13 years ago

    Try shorter stories next time... For the record I didn't read anything u worte

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    • Juvu.Lotus
      13 years ago

      HSVWHO Why can't you spell properly? I happened to read your comment, though you say you didn't read my story. Man, don't bother coming on here then.

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