Is it normal that to feel insecure cause my boyfriend is still married

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15 Comments

I've been with my boyfriend for 13 months and were expecting a baby in july but he's still married. They've been seperated for 4 years now and have a child together. Is it normal that when I sit here and think about the fact that they are still married makes me feel insecure about everything even tho he says she nothing to worry about and that he only love me and wants to be with me forever. The reason they haven't divorce is cause he doesn't have the money to do. She started the paper work but wants him to finish paying for them. Ugh I need serious help I don't wanna feel like this in my relationship

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75% Normal
Based on 56 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • joybird
    12 years ago

    OMG If he can't afford to get divorced how does he intend to provide for a new baby?! I'd be really scared if I was you.

    Unless of course, he intends for you to live off the government and so doesn't want to marry you.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      12 years ago

      "If he can't afford to get divorced how does he intend to provide for a new baby?! I'd be really scared if I was you."

      My sentiments exactly...
      This relationship appears to be all sorts of screwed up and I do hope that the relationship works out for you. I reccomend not to have children out of wedlock, there is a reason that it is frowned upon... Situations like this usually don't turn out too pretty, but if you two are smart and know how to handle your lives, I'm sure it COULD happen, nothing is impossible.

      You guys need to talk it out, and if he is truly separated from her and he is still keeping up his responsibilities towards his other child then have patience. But get on the pill once you've had the first kid. Not a very smart idea to get pregnant, but I can't throw any stones here.

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  • SillyKitty55
    12 years ago

    if he has no money he can go file for divorce and request the fees to be waived. They usually wave it.

    BUT SERIOUSLY
    OMFG WHAT WERE THINKING TO BE WITH SOME ONE WHO IS MARRIED????

    I would never ever consider even remotely dating a married man!Out of the question!

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  • lovephotos
    12 years ago

    That's bs. Talk to him and see if he really wants you. Guys always say they'll leave but they have no intention of it

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  • Energy
    12 years ago

    It's normal. Maybe tell him how you feel, so he can make you feel a bit more secure.

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  • SillyKitty55
    12 years ago

    out of this world man!

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  • Maggie143
    12 years ago

    Ask yourself, if he cheated on his wife with you, then what do you think he'll do once the two of you are married. More often than not once a cheater always a cheater. What makes you any different than his wife, I'm sure he told her he was in love with her at one time too. Have you ever met her, does she know that you exist? Do NOT just believe the words that he tell you. I'm sorry if this sounds brutal but I feel for you and really want for your situation to turn around. Good luck to you and your child.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Wow, sounds to me like you are screwed. Probably should have taken steps not to get pregnant.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    Sounds like you need to consider getting your own man.

    Sure he CLAIMS he can't divorce because of the money.
    More likely he doesn't want to divorce because then he'll have to let his wife know that he's cheating on her. Which means the divorce will cost him money.

    and i'll be frank... you are due child support assistance. but nothing else. you knew he was married when you started dating him so... in my opinion his WIFE is the only one with a right to keep him

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      The reason most men don't actually want divorced is coz the next foolish woman will want married!!

      If the wife accepts that he's no money to divorce her, then she must be accepting that he's no money for child support etc. He's made one mistake and doesn't want to make another!

      "When a man marries his mistress, it leaves a vacancy!"

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      • mom2be722
        12 years ago

        I'm not his mistress me and him have been living together since april we have our own apartment and the "wife" knows about our relationship she's in her own relationship she's been with the guy for over a year his family and I are close and they happy he found someone that makes him happy and he doesn't have 3000 up front like right now to get divorce he doesn't have enough money for a lawyer I'm not saying he broke and we have money for a baby he has a good job and he takes care of his child and once they do get divorce we are getting married he proposed I just won't accept the ring till the divorce happens

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        • joybird
          12 years ago

          Good. But if he hasn't the money now he definitely won't after the baby is born :o(

          I'm afraid you've put the cart before the horse here!!

          Good luck - but maybe you'll think things through carefully before you rush into life changing decisions again.

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  • lc1988
    12 years ago

    Heeeeeeey! My bf is married as well. I know how you feel. His reason is that they got into debt, so he signed up in the military to go to korea because he get's a lot of extra money for separation pay to cover the $17,000 debt. He's getting divorced when he gets back and they've been separated for 4 years after about a year of marriage. The feeling sucks I know as I sure have questioned our relationship. Your situation is a bit more complicated because there are kids involved but at least (hopefully) he told you they were still married. I found out through a letter. Anyway, the best thing to do is to make sure he's the one you want to spend your life with. Talk to him to extinguish any doubts. Insecurity is a horrible thing, as I have found out and doesn't do anyone any good. He's already said he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. They're getting divorced for a reason.

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  • mattsaballer5
    12 years ago

    The best thing is 4 the 3 of u is 2 talk this out

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  • shuggy-chan
    12 years ago

    =( ahhh

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