Is it normal that sometimes i just ignore everything?

this is been happening a lot to me lately. I spend a normal week, with good and bad days, talking with friends, waking up early and doing stuff. And ALWAYS after some time this weird feeling comes back, and i just feel horrible the whole time (i already feel horrible all the time but in those days is harder) and i just hate myself so much and think i am disgusting and make my family's life miserable and blame myself for everything and I also spend days ignoring my friends, sometimes i dont even talk with my parents a lot during the day and just want to lay down on my bed the whole day and its hard to make myself get up to clean and shower, and thats when i have some paranoid thoughts and i cant stop thinking about frogs and butterflies and little cracks on the walls and i just make myself stay awake for days writing stuff about frogs and butterflies and putting it on my wall and now my walls are full of post its because i have been in this situation so many times before