Is it normal that sometimes i feel mentally retarded?

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14 Comments

I have a disability in math and spactial difficulties, which I can hide pretty well, but my social skills used to be incredibly bad when I was younger and I've always been kind of a ditz so everyone in 6th grade thought I was mildly mentally retarded. One girl said she thought I was because I acted exactly like her brother who actually IS mentally retarded and goes to a full time special ed class. I used to go home from school crying.

Now my social skills are really well developed and people often times call me smart, but I still feel retarded. I make really ditzy mistakes and don't notice very obvious details. It takes me a long time to gather my stuff and do something and I wasn't taught a lot of basic things as a kid so I don't know how to wash dishes by hand correctly. However most people think I'm intelligent, and when I was 8 I got tested and my IQ was about 112. I question that though, and sometimes I feel like I'm really not and sometimes I want to go and get another IQ test. It's like no matter what anyone says or does, there's a voice in my head that over analyzes simple mistakes I make and says I must be at least bordering mild mental retardation and I wonder if people think I'm slow and just don't tell me constantly.

Are these thoughts normal?

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80% Normal
Based on 79 votes (63 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Glass
    12 years ago

    Relatable, I've consistently missed completely obvious details, made stupid mistakes, been unable to remember clearly etc. Feels like my mind is such lackluster compared to others. But what other viable option is there besides trying to learn from your mistakes?

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  • NobodyKnows
    8 years ago

    This is almost exactly my story, right down to the IQ test part. IQ tests are known to be unreliable, and parents LOVE to boast about how high their kids' IQ is, to make themselves look good. I would advise simply dismissing that test; you are probably of average intelligence. I'd be willing to bet that most average kids' parents manage to get them to score really high on an IQ test so they can brag about it.

    Since I share your fear of being "special," my advice is...just don't act like a "special" person. I think most people see a distinction between a "special needs" person, and a friend who is just not very bright in some areas.

    From my experience, here are a few things that will have people talking slow to you:

    * Not knowing how to dress, ESPECIALLY wearing Velcro sneakers past age six.

    * Getting carried away with being "nice." (Not that you should be rude, but you get my point.)

    * Seeming afraid to contradict your parents in any way, even behind their backs. (Again, not saying you should rebel just for the sake of it. But just cautious of using your parents' wishes as a reason for doing or not doing something. If yo say "because my mom doesn't want me watching those movies," for example, people will get the sense that you're very dependent on your mom.)

    * Try not to speak like a school counselor. "I suck at math" will have a VERY different effect than "I struggle with math."

    ....basically, presentation is everything. You could be as stupid as me, but do a decent job at hiding it and be treated like a normal person, for simply *acting* like a normal person.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Are you a human? Well if so, I've got news for you......

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  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago

    I actually can't believe how much your post sounds like me. Honestly, I've always sucked at math, but the other subjects I seemed to do really well in. Everybody has their weak points. Not a big deal. I've never been in special ed before, but I've felt the same way as you. When I was little I was tutored in math.

    At my job I kinda act like a different person. I think I'm a little socially awkward there, and thats why I come across ditzy sometimes. I'm just uncomfortable there. I feel like a lot of times I'm being psychoanalyzed. I guess, I just feel like acting ditzy is the best way to cover up how uncomfortable I'm feeling. I can be shy sometimes, and it takes me time to warm up to people. But once I do, I'm like a totally different person. I feel like people don't understand that about me. I'm more reserved, and its hard to explain myself, and I always feel like I have to.

    People at my work did spread a nasty rumor around about me, saying that I act so slow all the time. It really bothered me. And still does to be quite honest. But ironically, the people who say that have never hung out with me in their lives before. They don't know me outside of that place. Its all hearsay. This one guy from my work took me out to dinner, and said that he couldn't believe how different I was from what I portray myself as at work. But it kind of offended me when he told me that he was shocked by how much smarter I actually am when I'm not there. And I don't know why I act so weird there, honestly. Everybody there seems to think I'm a dumbass.

    However, when I was in college, I wasn't shy at all. I felt so comfortable there. I had so many friends, and people said I was really smart. I won an award for an essay I wrote in my english class. Unfortunately, I still suck pretty bad in math. Lol.

    People are arrogant. They probably just don't understand you, so they chalk it up to; 'that girl is slow'. We have a lot of arrogant people in this world. Arrogant people would believe anything. You just have to say fuck 'em! And you don't have to explain yourself to people either. Don't let them ever make you feel that way. I don't make people explain themselves, so I shouldn't have to either. Thats the way I see it. I hate that feeling as though I'm obligated to.

    :( I know how you feel.

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  • Shrunk
    12 years ago

    I do that too, I always feel like people are patronizing me for it, but then there are certain things i know better than most people. To me it seems like you could be on the autism spectrum, with self-esteem issues, or you just learned differently, and that doesn't mean you're retarded at all.

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    • NothingSpecial
      12 years ago

      I'm not autistic specturm. I was diagnosed with a learning disability when I was eight that really is akin to asperger's called non verbal learning disorder, but the problem is people don't tend to believe that because my social skills are highly enhanced, so people say it's impossible because my social skills are too developed. They used to be low, but I know somehow, they were something I sort of grew out of. I have social skills with grace now, and I don't really sem autistic or anything to anyone at all. I did throughout my childhood but somewhere along the line at 14 or 15 I just developed into someone who got everything nailed down and so I don't bring it up anymore to people. I just prefer to say I have a math disability.

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      • Shrunk
        12 years ago

        Is your math disability dyspraxia? I think my sister has that... and about your social skills, may I ask how you improved them so well? because it's been a problem for me as long as I can remember... I think i was and maybe still am, something like a selective mute.

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        • NothingSpecial
          12 years ago

          Not dyspraxia. Really with what I was diagnosed with it's a decline in spactial skills, math, social skills, coordination and sensory depravation. I am really more like someone with dsycalculia, the way I stuggle with spactial distances and direction. I struggle with everything I mentioned except the social skills. I have my downfalls sometimes, like for instance I don't always know when it's my turn to speak and interupt and I tend to be the kind who speaks too loudly without knowing or struggle occasionally with eye contact but that's about it honestly. I can't explain what happened. It was like a switch that was turned off for a long time and one day it turned on and I can now understand cues like sarcasm and facial expression and when someone is lying. I can see through other's intentions with grace and can understand many things I couldn't. I can be a bit awkward sometimes but I have a larger scale of comprehension so if I say I struggled with social problems some people don't believe me lol. I remember telling someone this once and saying I was misdiagnosed because they have improved, and I understood why he got such an impression so I didn't say anything further. As far as you go I hope everything goes well. That sucks.

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          • NeuroNeptunian
            12 years ago

            Damn I am in the exact same boat. I was also diagnosed with NLD and my social skills did not exist until the flipping of said switch. Strange, really.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    Normal.

    I was tested to have an IQ of 133 (but I have to side with Hawking when he says that IQ has little bearing on one's life), but I constantly miss obvious details and did not have much in the way of social skills until recently. I also have very poor Math skills and spacial skills. That and I am lazy and apathetic as hell.

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    • NothingSpecial
      12 years ago

      The thing about IQ is really interesting. I have met rather intellgent people who were a bit slow. I don't think it has much to do with the fear of not being capable, I think it's because society looks down at the mentally challenged. I know I'm not but I am still bombared with fear that I am at the same time and it scares and overwhelms me. It's something I think about because I just think "imagine if people knew I was just retarded". Even if you know it's not a bad thing to not be brilliant, society puts such an emphasis on being smart that the idea of being "proven" to not be that (even if an IQ doesn't completely behold the future) is devastating.

      I think it's just major self esteem issues and an inability to deal with my past that makes me feel as such but I was wondering if anyone else ever felt this was or was called mentally retarded despite not being so. I used to think that the non retarded would never be mistakened for being slow so I don't know. It was just really terrible to be accused of that.

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      • water223
        11 years ago

        I feel slow whenever I'm in a math class or when I do poorly on an exam.I think that it's normal to have self depricating thoughts.If you really were mentally disabled you wouldn't have been able to formulate your question.

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  • Shroomk
    12 years ago

    First off, it isn't normal to feel that way because you have alot of potential to succeed. If you ever feel thar way, contact a psychiatrist.

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  • Just_feed_me_Troll_Meat
    12 years ago

    It sounds like you are probably somewhat mentally retarded. Not a big deal, think about it, if you entered the special olympics you would probably kick ass.

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