Is it normal that someone can claim to miss you but they don't try?

61% Normal

Well in my belief I think that if you truly miss someone (meaning you don't just say it but feel it too) then you make sure that you see that person as much as possible...I am confused because I used to have a very close friend , she was like a best friend and we were real close then one day she pissed off and moved far away. For a while she claimed too miss me soo much but she didn't try to see me. Once she asked me to go see her but then she said I could only stay for 5 days, so I hesitated as it is a long trip and would cost me a lot of money. So she thought that when she came up I would go back with her, I was happy with that. Well the time comes and she comes up but when I ask her am i still going back with you she says 'sorry not this time' I think wtf, she's the one that is always saying she misses me! So why does someone say I miss you if they don't mean it? Or does she mean it..O.o

Voting Results

61% Normal

Based on 31 votes (19 yes)

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Comments ( 11 )

NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

Either they don't mean it in the sense that you think ("I miss you" vs "I'm pining for you 24/7") or they are like me and have a life. They miss you but they don't have the time/money/energy to drop everything and come see you. They probably have plenty of friends that they miss. Just because I'm not filing to take every day off I possibly can and am not squeezing myself of every dime to see them doesn't mean I don't miss my friends.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I think mine is, change that to 'was' the second one, I missed her all the time, therefore I think she doesn't mean it as I would have dropped everything to go stay with her let alone; I wouldn't have left in the first place. It sucks :/
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  That sounds right, those two statements you just said though I must ask "what's the point in saying it then' cause obviously u may as well not say it at all?
  
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  - NeuroNeptunian
    
    11 years ago
    
    That's pretty closed minded. My boss hates giving me days off and taking days off means that my rent goes unpaid. None of my friends would expect me to risk homelessness because they want me to visit.
    
    To top that, I can't afford to. They wouldn't expect me to charge up my credit card to see them and put myself in that kind of debt.
    
    My friends are reasonable people who understand that being an adult means making responsible decisions and dropping everything just to visit is irresponsible. They understand that my life doesn't revolve around them.
    
    She says it because she means it, but missing your friends doesn't mean that you'll risk homelessness, debt and job loss just to visit your friends. That's dropping everything and no true, reasonable friend would be selfish enough to expect that.
    
    You don't sound reasonable like my friends.
    
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    Also I wasn't just a 'friend' I was like her best friend or one of them.
    
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ProseAthlete

11 years ago

I have a good friend whom I rarely see any more. I miss her, and when we talk, we both say "I miss you!" Missing each other doesn't mean we have time to visit, though; she's super-busy with her job, and I'm busy with mine. Saying "I miss you" is the shorthand way we say what we really mean:

"I wish we had more time to spend together, but if I don't finish this project, I won't get paid for it this week and can't make the mortgage payment. I also have family to see, and if I ever want to see my husband around his busy work schedule, I have to say no to meeting for lunch on Tuesday."

Don't assume someone is lying when she says "I miss you." She does miss you, but she doesn't miss you so much that she can drop other important things in her life to spend time with you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  yeah well I wish she missed me enough to come and spend time with me as I would do it :/
  
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LostAndBroken

11 years ago

I think that it is kind of normal for someone to say that they miss you when they don't really mean it 100%
They're trying to say what they think you want to hear, but when there's obviously not much in the way of sincerity - well, their words ring fairly hollow don't they.
It can be confusing and hurtful when someone you thought was a good friend is so blatantly bullshitting you about something like this.

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- ProseAthlete
  
  11 years ago
  
  It's not really bullshitting, though. "I miss you" can mean "I think about you all the time and wish we were closer," but it can also mean "When I have a few minutes of free time, I recall how much fun we had together and wish we lived close enough to enjoy that."
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    ok fair enough , thanks for your comment :)
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  yeah I mean, what's the point in saying it if ya don't mean it? I never asked her to tell me she misses me nor did I initiate it. Why would someone say something that they think u want to hear, what do they get out of it? There must be some reason behind it all right...O.o
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that someone can claim to miss you but they don't try?