Is it normal that smoking weed makes me depressed?

I am by no means a frequent weed smoker, but I do smoke with my friends from time to time. When I first started, I used to just laugh and get the munchies; nothing worried me. That was back in high school, when everything was secure and predicable. I didn't worry about who I was or what I was going to do with my life, etc...

Flash forward to today. I'm a 21 year old girl, I constantly compare myself to other people, I feel anxious about my future, and I worry about a certain friend's emotional stability more than I should. For a while now I have lived inside my head, and I feel like I'm talking to myself all the time.

When I'm not intoxicated I can try to distract myself and pull myself into the moment, into real life, but that works only to a certain degree. When I smoke with friends my high works like this: I feel relaxed for a couple minutes, I start to talk more, I ask thought-provoking questions, I laugh... and then, even though I may appear happy, my mind gets weighed down by the little things I have pushed to the back of my head. Everything I try to repress comes rushing forward at once, and I become overwhelmed with sadness. I can simultaneously laugh with my friends/ watch a movie and think about sad things. I try to relax and enjoy the high, but I usually end up worrying about little details like my to-do list for the next day.

If I'm not worrying about unfinished business, I'm thinking about grander things like where my childhood went, why my family isn't as wealthy as my friends', why I won't ever make a name for myself / make a lot of money, how I'm never going to be happy with my job because the grass is always greener no matter what people do, how I can never possibly learn about all topics that interest me... and the list goes on. Then when I get home I can spend up to an hour staring at myself in the bathroom mirror stressing about my round cheeks, hooded eyelids, and weak jawline. (Logically I know I'm attractive because of feedback I've received from various boys/girls since I was 13 but I don't see it anymore. I concentrate only on my "flaws," and I feel uglier when I think about certain beautiful girls.)

Is any of this normal? Can anybody relate? I just want to know if I'll ever be able to smoke and fully enjoy it, but I suppose I'll have to work on gaining confidence in myself and in my life first.