Is it normal that she'll never know she was my first?
So I'm fairly new to the sex game, about 8 months active with my girlfriend. She's like the definition of awesome actually.
Thing is we met online a while back. Chatted up the other and just so I could keep up and not bore her, I told her I wasn't a Virgin either , hell with the stuff I said I might as well have told her I invented sex actually (cause what girl is interested in taking a guys virginity right?).
Almost a year later we finally hook up and get the ball rolling with sex being on top of the list.
You can fake it apparently. Read enough the newbie books, blog posts, magazines and you won't seem like a total noob so she bought it quite easily and got a complement out of it too ment for someone with experience.
Yes we've hit it so often to call it unhealthy and yes, you could say I've gotten better by the expected standards. She's definitely not complaining but it seems like we aren't on the same page.
Your first time is supposed to be special right? Something that your partner should claim responsibility for and perhaps carry with pride?
I lied to her though if I was to reflect back to it all now I think I can safely say I would have just stayed in the friend zone if I was honest. But all of it feels just so... Cheepened. Like I never really get the closure from loosing it we're all supposed to feel.
Yes, bottom line non the less is I lied... Butta.... Does anybody have a clue on what happens if I come straight with her? Is this even normal to be wary of? Or should I just shut up, be glad I'm getting laid and stop being a wuss?