Is it normal that relationships without passion last longer?

56% Normal
11 Comments

I have noticed a weird phenomenon lately. I am not sure if this is happening because I am getting older or because it is just meant to happen.

So, through my life I have been in relationships with people that felt like my soulmates. People I could have truly lived together with forever. But, for one reason or another, all those relationships ended. Yet, in my heart, I would give another chance to these people without a second thought.

However, the funny thing is that I have also been in good, but mediocre, relationships. The ones in which you care a lot for the other person... but you just know that they will never be your soulmates. It is just not "it". Yet... these relationships have lasted much more than the other ones... even years. But I would never give it another try in these situations.

So, do you think this is normal?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 18 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    10 years ago

    Do not mistake passion and infatuation. Passion and infatuation are related but not always the same. Once the infatuation and initial newness of a relationship wears off and the couple gets comfortable enough with each other to show who they really are, many relationships tend to fall apart because said partners drop the facade that they put up in order to impress the partner and show who they really are and before you know it, you have a couple of strangers who are confused because they thought they knew each other but now that they are both themselves, they don't feel the same way.

    This mediocrity may be your perception of partners who have dropped the facade but that would not make the love less real unless it just is not there.

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  • ifonlyuknew247
    10 years ago

    If you know the person is not "it", then unless you told the other person the moment you realize this, the relationship probably lasted longer because the other person was unaware of your keeping them around as a placeholder while seeking out someone new to make those sparks fly. Chemistry is a 2-way street, & relationships take work and maturity to last. Maybe if you take the other person's feelings into consideration rather tham using them until they no longer please you, you might change your actions based on your finally giving the boring person obliviously sticking loyally by your side the respect and consideration they deserve.

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    • DubstepismyMJ
      10 years ago

      Whoa too much personal guesses.

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  • Mersaphe
    10 years ago

    I think you are over thinking this. Relationships with sex last longer, the end.

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    I see NO point why you'd want to be with someone that you don't love passionately ... I love with an intensity that drives me to tears and fury with minor, minor things.

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  • ibreathelectric
    10 years ago

    You were probably more friends with the girls whose relationships with you lasted longer. I firmly believe that romantic relationships are just glorified friendships. Sometimes romances which seem passionate at first die off quickly or are only passing feelings. Friendship-based romance is more foundational and more likely to last.

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  • Junesong
    10 years ago

    How can a person have multiple soulmates, I wonder? The first thing I would do is try to understand the reason why every single one of those relationships have failed. What do the previous soulmate-people have in common? How was being with them different from being with the others? I am not trying to be rude but maybe you need to fix certain things in your own life and try being on your own for a while, if you meet someone special then by all means, go for it, but don't stay in relationships where you are simply 'content' because that is not fair to the other person.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      It wasn't that many people. And I think it is normal to have 2 or 3 really great past exes by the time you are almost 30.

      I wouldn't know how to explain the situation... but I think that when you are more in love, you do more stupid things... which ultimately crush the relationship. Another thing is that, when someone I don't truly love does something bad, I feel indifference and forgive easily... but on the opposite case, I feel crushed and resentful. So I don't know... human nature is just weird.

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      • Junesong
        10 years ago

        A number was not specified, and the way you wrote it sounded like more than that but in that case that was my misunderstanding and for that I am sorry.

        Human nature is indeed very odd, and I am reminded of something one of my friends told me once; 'we destroy what we love.' He truly believed that. I, however, do not. It is true that there will be hardships in love, there will be bumps in the road and no relationship is smooth sailing from start to infinity. But overcoming these trials together is what should make the relationship stronger, not weaker. I believe there will always be forgiveness to be found when you truly love someone. Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic, and yes I am still young but I have lived long enough to experience love. It is difficult and devastating, but it is also wonderful - it has brought me more tears and joy than anything in this life so far. I am not sure whether to call it blissful agony, or agonizing bliss. Nothing is perfect, but I sincerely hope you find that one special person some day.

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    10 years ago

    Hmm, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
    I wonder what would happen if your medicore relationship were to end...

    Live forever huh?... I wonder how long youve been with these "soul-mates" to make you so sure they are perfect for you.

    What ive observe in my life is that people tend to seem perfect at first, then as time passes their true colors slowly reveals itself no matter if they like it or not.

    Just some thoughts for yah. Meh

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Many years ago, I stopped being with girls just because I didn't want to be alone. Without the "spark" I just wasn't interested.
    I'm not saying that your way isn't better, it's just how I feel.

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