Is it normal that porn makes me so depressed?

^exactly.

It is not overly common but you are definetly not alone so don't worry to much about it.

i dont quite understand why it makes you depressed. are you insecure in your relationship and you think that you dont turn your boyfriend on? do you compare yourself with the actors in the porno movies? obviously your boyfriend finds you attractive otherwise he wouldnt be with you. it does sound to me that you have self esteem issues which i think you should work on.

Oh yeah. People say porn helps sex lives, but it actually destroys them. Fantasizing about others doesn't help when you want to be intimate with the one you love. It's fake and disgusting.

That's totally normal. It's a hormone kind of thing.
After you ejaculate, your hormones send a message to your brain, and your brain makes changes such as; remove some dopamine (The hormone that keeps you happy : The more dopamine, the more happy you are) and you are depressed.
I masturbate myself, but I've learned to just get over it. However, I used to get depressed too. I used to look in the mirror and say what a loser I am.
But think about it. At the same time you're masturbating- your friends may be masturbating the same time you are, EVEN THE "COOL KIDS".
About relationship, I have a girlfriend (I'm a Male). And I have girls who like me. But I still masturbate when I get the chance too.
Try intellectual masturbating (Masturbate from the image in your mind : Think of your boyfriend having sex with you)
And it may help... :)
-Zukes

I said yes because it makes me sad too. :(

I always wonder if the actors are okay, if they are enjoying what they're doing, if they're safe.

OH MY GOSH!
I have felt so alone for the longest time! I can't believe I found this post!
I FEEL THE SAME!
I have cried and felt so suicidal because of this. I thought no one in the world would understand.
No one I know in real life understands. I've never had a bad experience and I don't care about the people in the movie, that's not what causes this.
Just a picture, a movie, porn, ANYTHING with nudity sends me into severe depression.
I am crying right now because of how relieved I feel that I'm not the only one. I've kept it inside for so long, and was so completely embarrassed by it. I just recently started telling people because I couldn't bare them being so unknowingly insensitive.
I thought I'd be looked at like a freak but they were so accepting, but it's not the same.
When people talk about it I get depressed too because it just makes me realize that I can't escape it and it just disgusts me that most everyone in the world accepts it and indulges in it and thinks nothing of it. I felt so alone, and I still do because even though I found people online, I still don't know anyone in real life.
I do look up online ratings to any movie I see.
My ex-boyfriend was so kind. He stopped watching any movie with nudity in it, which is almost hard because we are such horror freaks and for some reason there are such horrible directors for those movies.
I definitely would not have sex after seeing that. One cannot help what they think about and who says he wouldn't unwantingly think about that other person? No, just no. That is wrong. That is terrible.
I feel so alone.

I totally know where you're coming from. The worlds a sick place nowadays. Atleast modernly. I don't think people realize just how destructive some of these things are. Makes me honestly consider if I ever want to have children in this day and age xD I'd be one of those over protective sheltery types lol

Porns disgusting anyway. I wouldn't recommend you to keep watching it.

get laid

Maybe it's because you have sexuals problems(that would make it "normal" and also a reason to go to therapy...) but if that's not the case, then I feel happy that there is still a HUMAN BEING even though we live in the 21st century where watching prostitution(porn) and murder and torture and rape on a screen is considered normal...

I feel for you, so much! I agree with Piggie8 but I also think there are some potential positives about porn. I oscillate between absolutely hating, DETESTING it with a passion, and generally accepting it. It makes me feel sad, depressed, lonely, empty, isolated, it feels like a distraction from me, I fear my bf orgasming over other girls. But it IS or should be (depending on the person) just a visual tool and they're not ALWAYS thinking about the girls, mostly they should be thinking about the act or just thinking of relieving a feeling, sometimes I'm sure they attach the person they REALLY want to think about to the girl on the screen - which should be you, right? Am I right guys? It makes you sad because of the thoughts and feelings and meanings YOU attach to it. I do the same. It has broken me down, it has made me want to seriously harm myself, though I know it and no bf is ever worth that. I'm smarter than my feelings and you can be too. It's a long hard road my dear but you have to try to not let this destroy your happiness. Don't worry I continue to fight this every f ing day. I break down and cry my heart out at least once a month. If we don't have sex for more than 3 days I start to seriously panic. It can destroy sex lives but I believe it is possible it can also enrich them. It's hard to know exactly what your bf's agenda or true desires are. Actually everything rests on that and if you don't know that and he won't tell you, you're bound to panic. That's what happens to me. But you got to think, would he be with you if his desires are really elsewhere? Unless he's a complete user a hole, but you would certainly know if he was.

Tenorsax69er, do you mean most women aren't satisfied when not having sex? Because that is me, if he doesn't want to engage with ME in a sexual way 95% of the time, even from a distance, in his thoughts, then I fall apart. I don't want to be with someone who wants to think about other women sexually in detail while they're masturbating and think that's okay, and I don't know if I am with a person like that. I avoid movies like that too, unless amazingly I deem the actress not very attractive/as attractive as me, I'm not comfortable with him watching them, I'm conscious of female video game characters, attractive provocatively dressed women everywhere, EVERYTHING.

No not normal get laid Now !!

I looked this up because i am the same way but bad experiences has only escalated these feelings, there was a point i could joke about it when i was younger until i realised how real it really was, i dont watch it and never felt the desire but everyone i know either obsesses or makes excuses for why its ok, when i explain why i hate it so much people say "pff but it feels good." Not to me, i had noone to talk to about this problem, every relationship i've been in the guy has obsessed with it behind my back, when i explained my hate for it they call. Me "too sensitive"

But its ruined my life, its convinced the guys i dated that its ok to make me sleep with their friends, boy or girl, i have been raped multiple times because the guy assumes because he saw it in porn I'd want it too, my first boyfriend broke my laptop i lent him for work by watching tons of porn, i lost all my artwork and animations, my college work, and he hid this from me, i found out trying to fix it, i also found out he was sexting 15 other girls and called me unattractive because I didn't look like his porn stars, my second boyfriend came to visit and scanned my pc for porn i watched, he found none because i hate the stuff, and when i fell asleep he watched porn then proceeded to try and have sex with me while i was unconcious, my third boyfriend dated me two weeks and left me for another girl saying i couldnt fufil his sexual needs because i wasn't like porn stars he is now in a monogamous relationship, i stayed single for 5 years until i found my recent boyfriend, he showed no sexual tendicies, he never asked me to do sexual things, he loved me for my sense of humor and thought i was cute for who i was, it seemed so perfect, (we dated online.) i was still horrifically depressed, after 6 months we met, we were. Both shy and i explained every past relationship problem to him, i thought he understood but i was wrong, i got intimate with him thinking he was the one, but when i did all the paper work and stuff to move to america where i currently am and i found so much porn, innapropriate stuff, all his movies and cartoons had naked women in them, i got so depressed i confronted him and asked why he didnt share he was doing thus and he told me i was being too sensitive, and he said he would tell me why he watched so much but not for 10 years+ i am currently married to this guy after being with him 3 years and i feel sick and so depressed i can't breathe, you would think after 3 years he could open up to me about this stuff, he really wont share anything, so yea i dispise anything sexual now, porn, nudity in movies, sex scenes, people joking about it, oh and since moving here i met one of my old online friends, she was cool but she brough a guy she liked to my house while she went home to get stuff and he forced himself on me because he wanted a release from watching too much porn and not getting enough, without permission, LIFE PLEASE i am sexually scared for life honestly i grew up thinking it would be special and loving but porn makes me feel like its nothing and i am just peoples sex pawn. Even now exs or random strangers say i should be a cam girl or watch porn in my spare time, i explained to my husband and friends my hate toward sexual stuff and they simply say to me "but it feels good." Or "i am too sensitive." I dont sleep and I want to not exist please give me better excuses for it because i am done.

Judging from the majority of previous comments, I believe we have reached the conclusion that this is not normal but somewhat common. I also have this problem. Does anyone have a solution?

It's sad because there really isn't enough food in that industry.

I completely understand this. Strippers, porn, sluts... you name it, it depresses me. I guess its because I have higher expectations for myself and for the people in my life. I really don't know what it is, but it causes a lot of problems. My boyfriend told me that we can't get married ever because I am such a freak about it that he won't even be able to have a bachelor party or anything, but I have heard some really depraved and nasty things about bachelor parties and things that have happened at friends parties. Gross. I also feel like if you are in a committed relationship, its kind of like cheating. The porn thing depresses me, but at least its not an actual person. Strippers make me want to die. The fact that a guy who is supposedly in love can get dry humped by some stranger makes me sick. The fact that she can touch him and stick her tits in her face seriously makes me want to shoot myself in the face. I can't stand it. It makes me feel like love is not real. How can it be, if a guy can never stop searching (at least in his head) for something more... and then sometimes has to have some stranger skank nasty girl grind all over him. I hate the world. I don't think I was meant for this planet sometimes. I am an athiest, but my moral fiber seems to be top notch compared to everyone else I know. I have always believed that my body was sacred, and I have also always been a hopeless romantic... so porn and strippers and nasty whore people just depress the hell out of me. :(

maybe you are slightly anti sexual some one who has no desire to have sex or masturbate.

yes i feel the same about animal pornography

it's very simple. You're insecure about your body. You need to put down the twinkies and get your fat ass into the gym.

HORNYASS PERVERT what r u doing watching it in the first place!!!

Forgot to add - there are actresses your bf is NOT gonna find attractive and ones he'll be indifferent to, and he's usually not lying when he says this, there are going to be just as many attractive women out there that are just not his type, it's highly likely.

... I know looking at it may bring up bad feelings in you but try to put them aside, think of you, not any bf, actually be clear minded (not thinking negatively about yourself/your body) and try to find something you like. Because I guarantee you, no matter how much you hate it (remember I hate it too) there will be something you'll eventually come across that has the potential to arouse you, maybe you'll happen to look at it at the right time, it'll arouse feelings in you that may surprise you, you'll see that it's not so much about the people but what they're doing, how they're doing it, the particular mood/setting/scenario that is captured. I research this a lot, in many ways! and I found video that had an attractive but not outstanding woman, sure her perfect breasts bothered me but her body was overall much the same as mine (something good to look for, so you feel somewhat equal :) but that thought quickly passed when I saw how good it was, the actors looked like an actual couple (it wasn't amateur), he was really loving, caring, it was very slow and sensual. It made me want to have sex like that with my partner, it made me very happy to be in a relationship where I can experience that for myself and *with* the particular person who is special to me :) :) Don't underestimate that your bf could be thinking the very same thing when viewing porn. I hope this helps.

It's good when you learn a thing or two from porn that drives your bf CRAZY!! It will build your sexual confidence too ;) See there ARE some positives to porn!

Btw ccjigsaw, I peeked at your profile and you're p r e t t y pretty! But, and people ALWAYS used to tell me this when I was your age, AND I HATED it, but you should smile more :)

I've had a full on few days to do with this, but check out my other post - Is it normal to consult an ex about a current relationship problem? A lot of what one particular poster said really helped me :)

Also I mentioned about learning that people will lie if they feel it is unsafe to tell the truth. Basically you making their life hell is something that will make them feel unsafe. There could be several reasons he might prefer porn over sex (over sex, not over you) - he's too tired, performance anxiety, stress relief, body issues (men have them too), anxiety about his ability to make it pleasurable FOR YOU. Considering his age and probably lack of experience maybe he was still trying to learn what to do, or was shy about what he wanted to do and too afraid to ask - didn't want to scare you off. Actually considering his age his consumption was probably high because his hormones were out of control! The reasons might not be what you think they are.

Surely there are actresses you feel you have one up on in the attractiveness stakes? Or even actresses you don't think are as attractive as other people seem to. There are some actresses I am relieved to know my bf digs, even if I think they're attractive, there's just something I have that they don't or they're just so undeniably attractive probably 99% of the population would agree so it's a given and you accept it. I could go on and on all day about Christina Hendricks to my bf and I have severe jealousy issues about other women. So YOU choose the movie, or you try to desensitize yourself to it - I haven't tried this but it could really help.

Remember men are generally going to find naked female bodies attractive, it's a given, it's a good thing, it's why he finds you attractive, it's naked female bodies in general, not necessarily specifics, it's biological, it's evolution, it's how we got here! When you think about that it's a bit easier not to take it so personally. I think too, that it is something we are just going to have to accept and get over in order to function in and maintain relationships in future. I know I want to grow out of this phase, accept myself, etc. etc.

To Onyx, I have felt suicidal over it too. And completely embarrassed about my feelings towards it and like a freak. People will joke about it and try to make light of it because they do it but they're a little ashamed of it, it's a guilty pleasure, it is also kind of funny in a way. Can you see that? Think of 80s soft core porn, it's hilarious right? Midnight champagne and bubble bath phone sex hotline ads, over the top right? Try to see this side of it.

Which leads me to my next point...

perhaps you feel inadequate seeing someone else naked, because of an insecurity you have. you also could just not be into porn, there are people like that. or maybe you feel pressure to live up to something you can't, these are all completely normal reactions. try to find things that you enjoy that you feel comfortable or happy around.

oh, and if you have someone you can talk about this with try to do so. emotional support can help tremendously.

It's harsh isn't it? I feel like such an idiot. But another person commented on here saying she used to have this problem, but she's gotten alot better. That means there's hope for us :) don't give up Hun, you have no reason to feel alone. My bf also won't watch movies with nudity in it for me, but I feel like such an idiot for asking, and I hate troubling him. Can I ask what age you are? I'm 18

Not to much right now, I'm doing a bit better. And basically, I constituted he was an addict because for 1 he couldn't seem to stop, he lied about it, and he prefered it over sex. Meaning he prefered porn over me. Very harsh. I hope one day u will be able to trust your guy, and he chooses to stop for you.

Zukes370 - are you saying it is NORMAL to masturbate thinking about your gf? I would think that would be natural and the norm 'cause I can understand sometimes choosing to masturbate over having sex, but why has my bf given me the impression that it is such a stretch to have to think about me when he masturbates, doesn't it take MORE effort thinking about unknown women than thinking about the last time you had sex or reenacting what you recently saw in porn with your gf. I've given my bf plenty of options, I've said if you want to think about another girl, think about ME with the other girl, think about us with another couple etc. etc. Why do I feel like guys just want to stay mentally single and think about f ing everything they see that they like? Are guys really that evil to the women they claim to love?

I totally relate OP, I too want to die if someone merely jokes about it (because of the pain it has caused me) and I become overly conscious of my bf's reactions. I only don't want to have sex if I feel like he has been distracted from me or deceiving me though, don't blame your current bf for your past, but I understand, my trust in men has been shattered somewhat too. I think I would feign interest and find these things out for certain b4 getting involved in future.

You're absolutley right. I really oughta sort out my priorities. Past from present. But I still get really depressed when I even think about doing it. You think I should just put up with the pain for a while and hopefully eventually it'll pass?

So it just passed? That's good to know :) very good to know. Because I certainly don't feel normal. Thank you again for your comment, it made a world of difference

I got over it (mostly) over time and because I found a decent man who doesn't put mr second to anything. That helped a bunch. Sorry you had to deal with a douche like my ex as well. I hope you find a way to get over the problem. It will take time but be patient.

I don'T know abot zukes comment. I wouldn't exactly say I ejaculate, and I don't masterbate over it lol I avoid it as much as I can. Aussie wolf could be right though. I do have a bit of a history too

Wow Aussiewolf.
..deep.
Foreal though. It bums me out too. I feel all fat when I see these skanky girls all.. Thin.
Oh well.. kinda turns me on a little too. Haha.

you
are
a
moron.

How does it feel?

it only makes you sick if you have an external moral reason against it....but you can either lead the life of hermit or just accept it. also it sounds like you would embrace religious meaning in your life. What is NOT normal is not wanting to have sex with your boyfriend afterwards. try to desperate the two issues. good luck!

I think it has to do with the confidence you have with your own body and your dissatisfaction in sex. This is also going to have to do with how old you are... I'm going to guess you're in high school. If that's the case then it's not a big deal to not like sex. If you're out of school then just keep in mind, most women are not satisfied when not having sex (WHICH IS COMPLETELY NORMAL) therefore you don't like sex.

lool thats not normal

My guess is you have had problems with men in the past that have focused on porn alot? I had that problem as well after a 4 1/2 year relationship where the guy liked porn more than me. Screwed me up to where just the thought or sight of porn pissed me off or in turn made me sad and depressed. I would also avoid movies with sex in them. What you need is to work on that problem. It's hard, I still have issues but nowheres near what they were.