Is it normal, that people treated my dying friend like this?

A few years ago, back when I used to go to church, I was friends with one of the gay couples.
I'll call my friends D and J. One day, I remember a bunch of people kept coming up to J and giving him their "support". I asked him what was wrong and I was told that he had bone cancer. I was upset and I tried my best to help him. Once, he told me that he was having a hard time finding a donor. So, I told him that if he couldn't find a donor, that I would gladly be his donor. I meant every word of it and he was deeply touched.

Somehow, everyone found out and then they surrounded us. People were asking questions and got mad at us. They told me I was joking. A relative of mine, literally tried to pull me away from my friend.

Then, for the next few weeks, he didn't come. He finally came back a few weeks later. Then, that's when things started to get really odd. At communion, I noticed that most of the people avoided him. Only a few would shake his hand. I happily went over to him and hugged him and D. He was really touched by it and nearly cried. I asked him "why?".D said that he had gone through chemo. Then, D got this worried look on his face and said that I should go to the other people and that they would be fine.

I left them and went towards the others. I found that everyone else in the church had pooled to the back of the church in a cluster. I was worried and a part of me wanted to stay with D and J. I looked at them one last time and reluctantly started walking at the cluster of people. As I started to approach, they all acted like they were "ignoring" me, but when I came closer to them they acted like they all of a sudden "saw" me.

They started talking about how they saw me spend "allot" of time with my friends and they wanted to know what was "going on" between us. I didn't understand why they were asking me these questions. I told them the truth. I said that he was my friend and that I cared about him. They completely flipped out! They said I was lying. So, I tried to defend the fact that I really cared about him. But, they just got angry and started threatening me.

At some point, I stopped going to the church. A few years later, it was April '09 and a Tuesday. I was in the car with my relative and she told me that J died. She said it with malice. I sat there and tried not to show any emotion, but I was crying on the inside. She told me that there was going to be a funeral, but she wasn't going to go. I said that I would love to go and she nearly stopped the car. She demanded to know "why" I wanted to go. I said something about paying my respects. She said she would never take me. Then, when I got home she told my mother.

That church has a memorial service for my friend every year. They kiss up to D because he's rich. Why did D stay being "friends" with everyone at the church, even after what they did? I don't understand why at first they claimed that they would always support my friend, yet when he needed them the most, they showed him that they didn't care.

I've gotten so emotional while writing this....
I'll never be able to forgive these people! I blame myself for my friends death.... I feel like if I had been allowed to be his donor, that maybe I could've been his perfect match and that he could still be alive today. But, we'll never know now. Every time I see his partner, I feel like I have to apologize. It makes me wonder if J blames me or is angry at me for not going to his funeral.

I usually cry when I think about him. I regret not getting to know him better. I even wrote an ode to him. I thought that I could get rid of all of my emotions, but they're still there. I've barely told anyone about this.

So, is it normal that they acted that way and is it normal that I blame his death on myself?
I really just need some form of closure on this. I'm sorry for the length of this, but I really needed to get this off of my chest.