Is it normal that people don't accept that i have a cold personality?

72% Normal
11 Comments

I am a guy in its 20s. Throughout all my life I have been a distant and introverted person. But that has never been an issue for me, I am a happy person and I appreciate the few people I feel close to. However, almost 99% of the people I know believe that I am just waiting to "come out of my shell" and that I just haven't had enough "love" in my life. Some even say that I pretend to be cold, but deep inside all I want is attention. To anime fans, people think I am "tsundere".

Let me give you a few examples.

I don't like celebrating birthdays, because I find them unnecessary, cheesy and stupid. Yet, people just don't believe that someone "doesn't like birthdays", so people usually try to make my birthday extra special, which only makes it feel more stupid to me. And every single year they are disappointed because they haven't changed my mentality.

I don't love my family. There is no particular reason, I just don't like them and I really don't believe that we are supposed to love family just because they are family. I keep a diplomatic relationship with my family, but I never look forward to interact with them. I have been living alone for 7 years, and honestly, I couldn't feel any happier. But again, people keep saying that someday I will "miss them".

Final example. I don't like parties, dancing, going to bars or similar activities. I like meetings at homes or at calm places. But as usual, every single person I meet says that I just haven't "met the right people" or gone to "the right clubs" yet. So whenever I meet someone new, their main objective is to make me like parties. And again disappointment ensues eventually.

So, I just want to know why people are like this. Why is it so hard to accept that I am just not all "disney" and "cheerful". Is this really normal?

Voting Results
72% Normal
Based on 53 votes (38 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Aliceee93
    10 years ago

    The things you don't like are all the things most people love. I think I'd accept you because that's just you, a lot of people don't see past what people enjoy and probably judge you on the things you said you don't enjoy. Which doesn't make them great people.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    It's normal that everyone isn't going to like the same things. If you are happy with your life style then there's no problem with that.

    I will explain why they might be acting this way though.

    I have a friend who is very introverted. He's 30, lives at his moms house, and doesn't leave the house except to go to work or the store. At home he sits at his computer all day playing videogames.
    Me and other friends often invite him to come hang out but he always declines. He just wants to play videogames.

    The reason we try to get him to leave the house, is because most people would be incredibly depressed if they didn't. Personally I need a lot of space, but I also will get depressed and incredibly bored if I stay home all day.

    Now I'm not sure if your situation is like his, or if you still go do things, but I give that example for insight into why people would encourage an introverted person to be more active.
    It can be hard for lots of people to understand that someone would be happy living like that. There isn't anything wrong with living your life the way you want, and I would imagine it would be irritating to be bothered about it all the time, but that is why.

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      You're assuming your friend is the same as you, when he's obviously not - leave him alone

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 years ago

    For he record, I didn't intend this to be that much about the introverted aspect. It was more about the "coldness", as the title says.

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      You're right, thanks for bringing us all back to the topic.

      Personally, I don't think any of that makes you "cold" - independent and a bit of a loner, but so what? The world needs all of us, not just the extrovert party animals.

      I'm sort of both depending on what's going with me, so I don't bother about it if I don't feel like socialising sometimes.

      I think it shows good taste & good sense to know where you feel comfortable and if it's not parties or noisy bars, well that's just you and I don't think it's anything to worry about.

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  • KeddersPrincess
    10 years ago

    As far as parties go, that's very common amongst introverted people. Parties (obviously) have a lot of people which, in turn, makes most introverted people highly uncomfortable. I'd say the same thing about birthday parties.

    As far as your family goes, I'm not trying to force anything out of you, but is there any reason why you don't love them? Did something happen in your upbringing that made you not love your family? I'm more interested in that story than the one about you being an introvert.

    Introversion is a personality trait; some people are introverted, some, extroverted, some are a good mixture of both. I think a lot of the people who don't understand you are likely extroverted and they simply don't understand the introverted mind frame which, to me, is fine because I (and I think a lot of introverts will agree) often don't understand the extroverted mind frame.

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  • green_boogers
    10 years ago

    Extroverts inherently dislike introverts, and will keep their "happy" facade by denying other people's differences.

    If you live in a city, hang out where other introverts go, like poetry readings, coffee houses, underground art movie theaters, or philosophy groups.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    ...All those "What would you do if you had a clone" stories recently, then reading this...Can't be a coincidence.
    Are you my clone?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      maybe... who knows :D

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  • noid
    10 years ago

    Extroverts are valued more in society. And considered more normal. Which is dumb.

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  • JustAnotherGuy218
    10 years ago

    It is not that you have a cold personality it is just that you are very mature, calm, and independent. This is completely normal.

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