Is it normal that no one knows?

We need more info. Say specifically why this is happening.

Hey op, why do you think you started doing all of this? I think it would help if you acknowledged some of the reasons you're doing this.

Do you feel guilty over something else and this is your way of escaping that guilt? I'm amazed you're able to keep a steady job and social life whilst all of this consumption.

*slow claps for the asshole recommending drugs to someone who said that their life is unraveling

OP, have you tried reaching out to anyone, talking to a close family member or friend that you trust? Sometimes people in your life will ignore the signs that you are having troubles because they don't want to believe if themselves. I recommend confiding in someone or seeking some help; it sounds as if you do have people in your life who care about you.

Its fine, but, you need to know that robo WILL lose the magic if you keep it up, talking from experience it will not get you high, ever again. People always assume there is a reason, there isnt... The simple truth is that intelligent people see hypocrisy and idiocy EVERYWHERE, its fucking madness, that and reality CAN suck, flying through your mind on dissociatives is simply more interesting, a place where anything is possible. While you still have the magic do robo right, do it in complete darkness, TRUST ME, youll hallucinate BALLS.

Know this, it WILL fuck up your brain chemistry and pcp and ketamine arebetter alternatives, if you have trouble pissing stop, people end up permanently on catheters or need life saving bladder reconstruction. I know you dont give a fuck, but, you need to realize you can give a fuck and have reason to. Before starting this cycle which WILL lead to painkillers and ultimately death or methadone (one percent get off it, im currently detoxing off 140mg, LIVING FUCKING HELL). There is a cure my friend, and heres the best part, you can still explore your mind and have fantastical voyages through space!!

The answer is, natural hallucinogens, they will not harm you, they will teach you, they will correct the boredom, they will make you whole and not want or need bad drugs. Mushrooms and lsd are good, but, to heal and have life changing trips that will make everything in life MAGICAL again, you need ayuasca or ibogaine. Ibogaine is fucking expensive and requires a clinic, its also not much fun, its fantastical but its rough. Ayhuasca is DMT made active oral, dmt is VERY fun. Though its role is much more profound. "but i dont know where to get", youre in luck. The internet, look up CHACRUNA, you need that AND banistaris caapi, mispelled im sure but youll find it. Look up dosages and for the love of fuck DO NOT over do it, you can take more, not less.

Watch the youtube video, war on conciousness tedtalk, it will be the most important thing you ever see, trust me. Also, consider growing weed, mushrooms and youre own mescaline cacti and ayhuasca, the key is DONT TELL NOBODY, not your girlfriend not your closest friends, share sure, but DO NOT tell them you are growing, thats a bust, dong care if its your future wife or blood buddy. People get jealous, relationships change.

Watch, war on conciousness tedtalk, I repeat, its what you NEED. Do good drugs, the ones I mention you can produce yourself easy and cheap, the others offer NOTHING long term and will take the color out of life, not to mention they teach you nothing but false grandiose illusions and you will end up a slave to it, and at that point it wont even get you high, it will only keep you from being deathly sick, at that dose you will have issues. 40 is enough, do 20, wait till you get the ringing and visuL distortion, then the other 20, followed by weed, youll hit plateu sigma, MUST be in darkness, also listen to DJ Jeno, Frankie bones and shmongle to take it next level, please take my advice, I WAS you years ago, im saving you hell on earth, instead opt for HEAVEN on earth, its up to you.

Is it normal no one knows? Yes. Certainly yes. People who find themselves on this path often do so in secret.

And you are deluding yourself if you think this is a good place to confess. There is no one to hold you accountable for your actions and you clearly won't hold yourself to them. Why is that?

No reason to feel guilty. People fuck up all the time. But if you actually want help before you hit rock bottom. Tell someone.