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About a year ago I was a severe masochist. A lot of the deeper cuts I made turned into Keloids. All of them are on my upper arms so I can't wear things that would show them. is it normal that I hate them and wish they were gone.
Yeah, it's normal.
I used to cut myself and I had serious mental problems during that time frame.
Nowadays, I still get stressed, depressed and angry like most other people do and those emotions are normal, but I am not the person that I was 4 years ago. I am not nearly as dysfunctional and unstable but those scars and still there for myself and others to see.
I wish I hadn't done it. I don't like being reminded of just how close to rock bottom I had gotten considering that I am truly not even the same person.
I also used to injure myself, back when I had schizophrenia. Usually I would create wounds, and as soon as they started to heal I would repeatedly exacerbate them, ripping them open over and over again. I loved the pain and I loved the blood. It was the last thing I had left that I could enjoy. The same wounds could be open for a year or more without healing. A lot of them would start looking more and more rotten, until I got bored of them and started concentrating on new ones.
Now that I am out of all of this, I look down at these wounds and feel disturbed. I feel sick remembering how sick I used to be. They remind me of the worst and lowest point in my life that has ever, and hopefully ever will happen.
It's normal. Every time you see them, you're reminded of how much pain you were in at the time. If my cuts were visible still, I'd be reminded of all that too.
I tried killmyself and my hand dont look really good and i am proud of that...i have my reasons to never forget what was...but i am sorry if your scars are not what you need now :-( you changed and thats good for you
silicon sheets for scars work wonders i'm told, the sooner u start the treatment the better the result