Is it normal that my relationship attempts with girls always end bad?

48% Normal
14 Comments

I'm a 20 year old male, approx 180lbs and 5' 11 (average to athletic build). I wouldn't say I'm the most attractive guy around the block, but I don't see myself as ugly either, just an average looking guy. I try my best to keep myself well groomed and well dressed as possible, but not too over the top. I try my best to be upbeat and hopeful about things, and I consider myself a nice guy to be around overall.

But for some reason, things always end badly for me when it comes to pursuing relationships...

- The first girl I went for, I met her at a club night at my university. We had a couple drinks together, got to second base on the dancefloor, and hit off a couple of great conversations out on the smoking patio (BTW I don't smoke). I followed the three day rule before texting her, but she already texted me and invited me for drinks in her dorm, so I went up and met her floormates whom I didn't like very much, but I tried to stay anyway. She eventually blew me off and she didn't want to hang out with me anymore b/c her friends thought I was "boring".

- Second girl, I met up with in a bar. She was actually someone who was one of my classmates in 7th grade. Unlike the first girl, we didn't do anything crazy, just sat down and reminisced about old times, all the while flirting a bit, and she put her number in my phone and dropped some pretty blatant hints. I figured I would actually give this one a shot, so we arranged to meet up for coffee sometime later in the week. The day of, my meddling "friend" told me that she wasn't looking for a relationship so I shouldn't bother, but I went anyway just b/c I didn't want to flake. She did end up showing up, but she seemed a whole different person that day and the tone was alot more awkward. She never said anything about not wanting a relationship, but she deleted me off facebook and BBM anyway, and without any further ado, that was done.

Does this normally happen? Most people my age, and many of my friends have had several relationships last much longer than these ones, and one of my friends has had his girlfriend for over two years now (his prom date), but the closest I've ever been to having a "relationship" with any girl doesn't last any longer than a week. Is there something inherently wrong with me? Why is this happening?

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 52 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Maybe it is the girls you are going for that are the problem. Maybe you type isn't the good type.

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  • udolipixie
    11 years ago

    It's normal to me as my opinion is that relationships that start out at bars/clubs rarely work out.

    As for your relationship pursuits:
    First girl probably thought you weren't that interested since you played a waiting game aka "three day rule" and that it wasn't worth pursuing a relationship with you as you didn't mesh with her friends. Likely her mindset was "my friends were here before him and will be here after him" in other words chicks before d*cks.

    Second girl you had warning that she wasn't interested in a relationship and she was probaby more awkward when you met up because your meddling friend told her you were interested in a relationship. Likely she decided to cut off contact rather than befriend or remain in touch with a guy who wants more than she does.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Now you have to answer this honestly, do you act awkwardly around them? Are you nervous? Do you act comfortably?

    Do you act like you want a relationship right away? The scares many women away. Right away.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      The second time I was acting awkwardly a bit b/c of what my friend said. But I also admit that I did think a bit too far ahead of myself (I listened to my friend too much), and I guess it rubbed off a bit into how I approached it.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    Maybe, you should try dating out of your age group? Look for more maturity.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    These girls sound very immature, so whatever it's probably not worth your time.

    I suggest doing something more active than coffee or drinking at her place for a first date though. Actually the first one where you drank with her friends wasn't even a date.

    I don't get the part where your friend told you that she didn't want a relationship though. How does he know her?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      They went to high school together and they had a mutual friend. But I think that he might have played a part in it. Him and the mutual friend were having a falling out (that's another story for another time), and I think that might have contributed a bit. But even then, I don't think that it was him 100 percent.

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  • Longlostlunng
    11 years ago

    I'd say don't worry about it. As the other guy said, maybe you're not going for the right girls? As a girl, I never liked guys that made it obvious that they wanted to start a relationship with me or rushed it. That usually indicates desperation or the start of a very short relationship. Always start as friends, that's my opinion. Of course, depending on the girl, you can risk to get 'friendzoned'...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I'm not desperate, but it's hard to not make it obvious sometimes...

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    180lbs is heavy for 5"11

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I work out regularly and do 3km runs 3 times per week.

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      • 1000yrVampireKing
        11 years ago

        Mine don't last either. Most people do not take a relationship seriously. It is just a fling they will get bored of in a few months.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Its definitely not heavy at all, I am 5'10 and 185 and not fat at all.

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          shit.I am 5'10 and 147. you guys must be big

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