Is it normal that my parents won't let me hang out with my friends?

17% Normal
19 Comments

My parents are crazy strict due to that fact that I'm of Indian decent. I'm first generation, so that makes things so much more complicated. My parents force me to hang out with other kids my age that are of the same nationality/language. The problem is that my best friend is guyanese and I go to a school where almost everyone is white or guyanese. My parents absolutely hates my friends and won't give me the phone when they call the house (even though it costs nothing), they won't let me text or talk on my cell phone, they won't let me instant mesage or email my friends or have a facebook (but I do it anyway) and the most of all won't let me hang out with friends. I am practically under house arrest. I get straight As, honor roll, never once got in trouble for something and my friends aren't bad either. I'm not allowed to hang out with friends on the weekends unless I specifically ask permission at least a week before. And most of the time, they say no. I know middle schoolers who get to go out more than I do. I went to the mall after almost a year of not seeing my best friend (since we dont attend the same school) and my parents wont let me hang out with people now that its summer! Plus, its not a matter of safety because I used to take the train to brooklyn by myself when I was like 13-14 for school. Bottomline, is it normal for parents to control every aspect of your social life and not let you have any fun or any friends?

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 523 votes (91 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • mas_user
    13 years ago | pl

    You should sit down your parents and talk to them about your situation. If that dosnt work you may just have to actively ignore what your parents say. It's not healthy to have such a limited social life

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  • normaliamnot
    13 years ago

    i once knew someone who was in a similar situation. to be honest, if reasoning with them doesnt work... then youll just have to wait until you move out to have a normal life.

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  • radishbobby84
    13 years ago

    your parents suck lol time to stand up to them...or sneak out

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    • yosra
      13 years ago

      not NORMAL

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  • bleach_baby
    13 years ago

    One of my best friends is indian and had a similar problem. Eventually, he said to his parents "You wanted me to grow up in england,you brought me here...so, why do you keep talking about how much better things are in bangladesh? why do you only want me to spend time with other indians? This is the culture you wanted me to be brought up in, and my white friends are part of this culture..you have to accept that when I go to university, at least, you wont be able to control who my friends are and many of them will be white or black, why not accept this now?" His parents had to accept to an extent what he was saying, and although they are still uneasy and didnt change enormously, they did become more relaxed about him going out and talking to people of different cultures. I hope this helps, and I wish you all the best

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  • dinz
    13 years ago

    Maybe if you organise a "dinner night" with your parents - maybe a formal introduction would work.

    My mate was in a similar situation so I suggested that I should be formally introduced to them. Ever since I have got on well with his parents.

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  • Ryan7395
    13 years ago

    Try reasoning with them first.

    If that doesn't work, try guilting them, make them realize what assholes/racists they are.

    If that doesn't work, find out secrets about them, and blackmail them with them.

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  • yosra
    13 years ago

    oh that's quite a big problem but my advice is that you talk to them in a mature way make them understand that they can't pretect you from the outside , from life ... because if they do they will be just as locking you in a golden cage tell them that you need to connect with people because you actually need people and because you will be dealing with people for the rest of your life weather they consented or not that's the reality but that doesn't make you free for 100 per cent because you still need your family more than anyone and them and one one but them can give you so much love and care i'm telling you

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Keep trying to reason with them. Why immigrate to a diverse country then restrict your child's relationships with the people whose race and culture are different?

    While they may want to make sure you are connected to your cultural roots, they need to be more flexible. Also, I wondered if they are more lenient with you when with south asian kids, why do you not have any fun & friends with them?

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  • AaronDesller
    7 years ago

    Me too...everytime when my friend invite me to hang out with them at the mall..my mom alwayd restricted me to go...why??i am 16 years old and my friend aren't so bad after all!i recently move to a new school and i miss my old school..one day,some of my friend from the old school wanna hang out with me..so i decide to join my friend to hang out together..but when i tell my parents that i want to go hang out with my friends at the mall by using uber...my parents will alwyas say no or never!why!!all i know that my parents afraid that if i using the uber..the driver will kidnapped me or suddenly i got lost..i can take care of myself ok!i have a sister...she is 19 years old...if her friend invite her to hang out with them.my parents let her go with her friend...i mean WTF DUDE!she even use uber and come back to home with uber too!!help me guys!!i can't stand this shit anymore!

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    Your parents are racist pricks and wrong for trying to isolate you in an area with only those people. If they hated Guyanese why move to an area with mainly that race of people? It makes no sense to NOT make friends with the locals.

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  • cupcake_wants
    11 years ago

    This sucks! Im sorry, dude

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  • Zaralorr
    11 years ago

    Sneak out! YOLO!

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  • rudhradev
    11 years ago

    you said Indian descent so its perfectly normal... my dad always drops me and pick me from "college".. where ever i go my mom accompanies me.. my big brother is over over protective.. so what i do to hang out with my friends is i just bunk the classes and hang out in some coffee shop and go back to college before my dad comes and "act" normal. i usually tell everything to my mom so she knows all about it so if i get in trouble she ll save me....

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  • slutzombie
    11 years ago

    REBEL. Not normal. When they tell you that you cannot leave the house, fuckin leave anyway

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  • jrphotographer
    13 years ago

    A secret facebook account, nicee...
    Tell your parents that your friends are really good nice people and that you should be able to hang out with them

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    say to them that you want to choose who is in my life and who isnt say to your parents my school is filled with the people you dont want me to know and some teachers are the same so if you say i cant have a social life because of the way there born then i cant be taught by the same people then say that your nationality genre of people didnt create money but u use it so saying u dont want me to be with people my friend who are difrent than me ok then i dont like that you use the money our people didnt create so if you dont stop using that money i have just the same right to see the same type of people

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  • crissyabear
    12 years ago

    Your parents seem a little overboard but it is normal. Suck it up do what they say. Turn 18 get a job, get your own place, make your own rules. Stop focusing on all your parents don't let you do and be grateful for what they do do for you!

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  • BULLHORN9
    13 years ago

    Oh its absolutely normal, you should obey them as they just want whats best for you.

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