Is it normal that my parents hate me? (sarcasm in post, sorry)

47% Normal
5 Comments

I don't mean this in a figurative way, they really don't like me. I suppose, as parents, they're inclined to love me, (and I'm not even sure about that anymore,) but I know they don't love me. I've overheard them when they talk about me. The other night, my dad was taking my younger brother to soccer, and my mom said, "You have to take her, she cannot stay here" to which my dad replied, "But she's embarrassing." My parents aren't young, they don't get easily embarrassed, but apparently I'm enough to make them feel that way. My dad did take me, and I ended up feeling really depressed, and my dad's really nice, he was pointing things out to me, and he even got me ice cream, which only made me feel worse about myself. I sulked and cried for the entire 4 hours I was with him, and more when I got home. I'd cried so much my eyes were swollen this morning. I think I suffer from some kind of depression. I've cut myself, but not badly, I hardly ever draw blood. It just makes me feel better to see some sort of mark, like that somehow made up for how awful I've been. The thing that keeps me from confirming my depression is the fact that whenever I'm not reminded of my family, i.e. with other people, I'm not depressed at all. Friends would describe me as a hyper, sarcastic, funny, loving person. The opposite of depressed. I know it's awful to think of, but I'm only depresses around my family, and even then it's not because of them, it's because when I'm around them, I'm reminded of all the awful things I've done to them. I'm mean to all of them, I lie, I never interact with them when given the choice. I just don't know what to do. So, I guess my question is, am I suffering from some kind of depression, despite the fact that I'm happy away from my family/thoughts of them?

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 47 votes (22 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • hafachick
    11 years ago

    Try to treat them the way you want them to treat you. It might be weird at first, but don't quit.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • lifeofclocks
    11 years ago

    I do think the situation is causing depression. It's important for you to have a voice and to be heard by your family, but it's a very hard thing to establish when you're feeling the way that you do. I've been in similar shoes, and it wasn't until I became an adult that I was able to talk to my mom about our problems. We had a really bad relationship when I was growing up. I was very unhappy, and I left home early(which I am not recommending), but it didn't make me feel much better and I still wanted a relationship with her. So we worked on it. I came to the conclusion that my mom was just a young woman trying to raise 2 kids alone. She was depressed and lost and screwed up a lot. It didn't take away from the things my sister and I went through, but it made it easier to look at my mom as a person. One of the harder parts of growing up is realizing your parents are flawed. They get mad over stupid shit, heartbroken, disappointed in themselves and life, scared, and so on. After a lot of time and conversation, I felt better and closer to her.

    I have 2 teenagers now, and sometimes they make me want to rip my own face off and beat them with it, but I love the hell out of them and never want them to feel the way I did, so I always try to listen. I tell them to just tell me when they feel like I'm not respecting them or listening or if I'm pushing too hard. And I tell them when I am bothered by the things they do as well. The worst thing that happens is we hurt each other's feelings for a little while, but then we know what's going on and we can work on changing things. I know this is long, but all I'm really saying is hang in there. Maybe you won't fix the relationship with your family now, but it doesn't mean you never will. Maybe you can be bold and talk to someone. Maybe your dad. Remind them that you are also a person and the way you feel is valid. You might hurt their feelings but you also might feel freer. In the meantime hold on to the things that bring you comfort. Let go of the self harm, the control and sense of penance it gives you is fleeting and only leads to regret. I hope it gets better for you. <3

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Richelle
      11 years ago

      Thanks, I guess I'll just try to hang in there like you said, maybe like you, I'll understand more when I have kids.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • FunkyHuskyCoolGirlYuki
    11 years ago

    I feel the same way. It got worse after my sister died though.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • JesusFreak93
    11 years ago

    I'm the same way

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0