Is it normal that my parents don't love me for who i really am?

50% Normal
10 Comments

Me and my parents have a weird relationship: we are completely unsincere to each other. I tried to be more open with them, but I notice that they get really disappointed when they hear more about my real life.

My parents claim that they "love" me, but they don't know anything about me. They don't like my hobbies, the people I hang out with, my career choices, my personality, the movies or bands that I like... and pretty much everything that I do. They despise my friends and think that I will find "better ones" eventually. They don't like my career, so they think that I am just going through a phase and that I will eventually go and study medicine or laws.

Whenever they ask me about anything, I just lie. I basically have to pretend to be someone else in front of them. I honestly can't claim that there is "love" between us. And well, people just don't seem to understand that. They say things like "family is family", "you have to honor your parents", and stuff like that. I don't know, I just want someone to understand that I don't believe that family deserves a special treatment when it comes to love.

So, is this normal?

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 44 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • macaroniheyo
    10 years ago

    I kinda know how you feel. My mom is always telling me not to do things because "People will judge you." and she's the only one I've met so far that critisizes me to that extent. Our senses of humor are on completely different spectrums and she always acts like she can tell me what I want out of life. Every single gesture she makes is out of politeness and "that's how things work", so I wouldn't even know exactly how she felt about me. Still, I love her. I don't think you have to "like" to "love".

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  • philosephorSteve
    10 years ago

    im sure they love you. you guys just dont see eye to eye. they dont have to like your friends or your hobbies... just be good to them and thats all that matters

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  • hoi_polloi
    10 years ago

    Whether it is normal or not, is difficult to answer. Even my parents don't know much about me, and I can't be myself around them either. But there have been both small and big acts of kindness throughout. My parents hate certain aspects of me. I think that is true for any parent. There have been disconcerting talks and incidents too.

    But i think, I love my parents or atleast I'm respectful. And my parents love me too. That belief is quite comforting.

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  • 3rdXsTheCharm
    10 years ago

    I voted this as normal because I cannot be myself around my father at all, and am noticing this a lot lately with plenty of people.
    I wouldn't say it's right, but I do believe this to be normal.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    sounds ungrateful

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    For some.

    My boyfriend seems to like me much, much more than his family. I let him be him, or something...

    I like him more than my family too. He's like the most nonjudgmental person ever, and he's good for my self-esteem at times, like how he always thinks I'm pretty.

    If we marry, we are family, and the rest, I suppose, doesn't matter. You can do the same. It's hard, but, you have to be you... even if they don't like it. At least I think life is so much better being you then being fake for their happiness.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      "My boyfriend seems to like me much, much more than his family. I let him be him, or something"

      That's not why :S

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Aww, why do you think, then?

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  • KRFTW
    10 years ago

    Yea my mom claims to love me but she doesn't know me either. It's fucking crap. And whenever I ask her how she can love someone she barely knows she'll just say you'll understand when you have kids. It's bullshit that's like saying you like a certain food even though you never tried it before.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    That's a shame i hate when parents do that.

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