Is it normal that my only friend had slept with my (ex)fiance?

I'll try to keep this short. I have bad social anxiety and have had very few friends. Some years ago, I was engaged to the father of my children. He had been cheating on me throughout the relationship- but he was my first boyfriend and the father of my kids, so I *stupidly* ignored the signs. Until my 'best' friend- because she was my only friend, had an affair with him. Background- she's married with kids, but both her and my fiance had a fling before our relationship started. The affair was very blatant and in my face (as well as her husband). Finally, I couldn't take anymore and left with the children. They both drop off the face of the earth. A few years later- I'm doing fantastic. I have my own place and although struggling as a single mother- I'm happier. Because of my anxiety- I still don't have friends- I have acquaintances and co-workers but no one hangs out with me after work or comes over, I rarely get invited out because I usually turn them down, etc. I've always kept contact with her siblings and finally reached the point in my life where I forgave them both. So I told her brother that if he talks to her, to just pass on the message that I'm not mad anymore and to actually thank her. Because if they weren't so reckless and open about the affair, it wouldn't have forced me to analyze the relationship and get out. I would have kept ignoring subtle signs and being unhappy. To my surprise, she actually reaches out to me and we slowly start up our friendship again. Now she is the only person I talk to that's not family and the only person I hang out with- and even that's rarely because my social anxiety is so bad, that I'll even avoid her at times. I guess I'm not 'normal' anyway due to my social anxiety but is it normal to have only one friend- and that friend is someone who betrayed you in the past?

Voting Results
28% Normal
Based on 40 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • DanishGirl

    It's not healthy to be friends with someone who's done that to you. No it's not normal. What are you doing? Their is help out their for the social anxiety thing. Get some help with that and make some real friends. She is not your friend. What happens if you meet someone else and get married. Is she going to try to do him too if he gives her a chance to? Wake up!

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  • SarahShy

    Well no by society's standards it's not normal. But are you ok with it? Are you happy in life? It seems that answer is yes, so why should it matter as long as you're happy?

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    • tint40

      I'm ok with it, everyone else thinks it's super weird. You're right, it shouldn't matter. I am happy with the friendship, as long as I don't dwell on her past actions. Thanks, I just was wondering if it was a healthy thing to do. The only thing that bothered me about it was people's reactions to it.

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  • pixie_dust

    If u r seriously thinking about it & r interested u can let me know & i will give u specific tips that really worked for me that i wish i would have known starting out

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  • pixie_dust

    Anyway, about your 'friend'.. dont really trust her bcuz u already know who she is... & its ok if u dont have a lot of friends.. the free time u would be out partying/socializing u have to start working on yourself. If u start exerciing and gradually get into great shape like i did, it will definitely boost ur self confidence & help u feelmore comfortabe in ur own skin.. id say think about it!

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  • pixie_dust

    (I have to break up in pieces otherwise my phone will lose texr) anyway, it was really painful & awkward time for me. I started really working out hard and eating healthy and really accomplished a lot. I socially matured at a different rate bcuz now im actually popular and make friends really easy. That difficult time of my life made me who i am, which is more beautiful on the inside. Im loved & liked by many and often envied. Im 37 now and quite attractive especially for my age.

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  • pixie_dust

    This is so weird bcuz u sound like a carbon copy of me when i was in mt late teens and early 20's. I wasnt popular in hi school and had few friends & would end up being the 1 picked on always, & have to put up with even mu friends being mean to me. I had a similar situation where 1 of my 'friends' started dating the guy that broke my heart into a million pieces...

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  • 1000yrVampireKing

    Your friend sounds like a bitch. Even if she is your only friend she should not do that to you. She sounds like a whore. I feel sorry for you. Your husband is a slime bag as well. Worst is he not only hurt you but your children. These are both horrible people and they deserve nothing from you.

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  • lizieralizard

    with friends like that who needs enemies?

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  • I suppose i'll kill one of you...urrrmm...uuhhh...i don't know...you.

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  • Terence_the_viking

    Fucking hell you are such a plank how did you let this happen

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