Is it normal that my new boyfriend & i aren't having sex?

37% Normal
68 Comments

I am 41, my boyfriend is 38 & we have been officially "together" for just under 2 months. We have known each other for about 6 months though. We have had sex 3 times in the 6 months we've known each other. It's now been 5 weeks since the last time. He says he's madly in love with me & that I'm perfect for him. I'm in my prime & have a very high sex drive. So I'm feeling very rejected by his lack of even attempting to be sexual with me.

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 35 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 68 )
  • JD777
    8 years ago

    Tell him it's important and to see a doc. The doc can determine if its erectile dysfunction (could explain a lot, including no morning wood) or something else. If it's ED, ask for a script for 5-10 Viagra. That might get his confidence back "up" after a few uses and won't need any more. If not, he could then go on the daily Cialis. Good luck!

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  • Fish1973m
    8 years ago

    Put some sexy underwear on for when he gets home and seduce him, if that don't work he has issues

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      I've turned into a masturbating FIEND! Wait....is that normal?? LOL! ;-)

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      • Fish1973m
        8 years ago

        Nothing wrong with having a play with yourself :))

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        • Thunderfan74
          8 years ago

          I enjoy it. Probably too much ;)

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          • Fish1973m
            8 years ago

            Me too :)

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            • Thunderfan74
              8 years ago

              And now I'm horny as hell after all this talk of sex & masturbation. Lol

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            • Thunderfan74
              8 years ago

              Wanna wager who does it more often? I bet my daily totals are bigger than yours ;) lol

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      I've put on lingerie & been very explicit about what I want to do to him. He wraps his arms around me & says he's just tired & wants to cuddle. Ugh. What's a sex deprived woman to do??

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      • Fish1973m
        8 years ago

        Have you tried playing with yourself in front of him? That may get him turned on

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        • Thunderfan74
          8 years ago

          I love watching self pleasure but I'm not sure he would appreciate it. He doesn't even wake up with morning wood. I thought every man woke up with a raging hard on! Lol

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          • Fish1973m
            8 years ago

            Maybe there's his problem, he can't get it up? You can't beat a bit of morning sex to get the day off to a good start

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            • Thunderfan74
              8 years ago

              Yep. He's had issues getting aroused the last 2 times we attempted sex. I tried my best skill......oral....& it got him mostly hard. But when he got it inside me....erection went away. I've never had this happen! I'm getting a complex. I thought any man would be happy having a sex addict as a gf?! Lol

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      • wemowyouryard
        8 years ago

        Sounds to me that it may not be that your boy friend doesn't want sex. It might be that your boy friends sex drive is down due to an unhealthy diet or lifestyle. That's just my opinion.

        Also, sometimes overly sexual people can turn off their partners. Let your bf initiate for once.

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  • Blade79
    8 years ago

    Maybe he's just asexual...by that I mean he's not actually sexually attracted to you (or anybody), and he might have a very low sex drive, neither things you should or could change. Also, yes, it is possible to love somebody without ever wanting to have sex with them. Hope this helps.

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      We have had sex, just not since he started telling me he's in love with me. I just don't get it. I'm so confused....

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  • Rick_Bawls
    8 years ago

    You need to tackle him right after you are alone in your home or his and then pull the balls out of his pants and play with his cock. Treat him like he's your sex object for you to play with and that should get him hard.

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      Well now I'm horny as hell lol

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      • Rick_Bawls
        8 years ago

        Trust me, if he likes you he'll enjoy it. If he doesn't, he must have low-T or something!

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  • Riddler
    8 years ago

    Well it might be normal for you to sleep with every guy you have only known for 2 months it might not be for him. He can have a high sex drive but hes only known you 2 months, so maybe he does not want to get super attached so early out the gate?

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      I see what you're saying. I do tend to get emotionally attached myself when it comes to being sexual, on a regular basis. But....how can he tell me he's madly in love with me but NOT attempt intimacy?? I really do want to understand this. So I appreciate all the comments....regardless if people think I'm some kind of freak or not.

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      • Riddler
        8 years ago

        Hes known you for 2 months. No you just sound greatly promiscuous and like you will sleep with almost anyone for any reason.

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        • Thunderfan74
          8 years ago

          No no. We've known each other for almost 7 months. Did you miss the part where I said he kinda got me drunk on our first date & we ended up having sex?? No I don't sleep around. Seriously. I do TALK about sex a lot. But I don't sleep around. I like being clean, thank you.

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  • dirtybirdy
    8 years ago

    Is he on any meds?

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  • 213
    8 years ago

    Touche

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  • 213
    8 years ago

    why "Lol" at the end of your sentence are you mocking your chap , if you serious take him to man's clinic he might be sick down there .

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      Definitely not mocking him. I just add lol to things so it doesn't seem so serious. I have to maintain a little humor.

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    Why does he have to initiate it? Take action!

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      Believe me, I've taken action!! Lol I won't go into detail or this thread would cross over into porn talk. Haha. But seriously, I've started out giving him a massage & I've tried to turn it into a sensual massage.....& the response I get is "baby that felt amazing, but let's go to sleep now" he always kisses me goodnight, says he loves me, but then leaves me aching for some action!! I'm going broke buying batteries!! :-p

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      • Arm0se
        8 years ago

        No one is that oblivious, maybe he's just uncomfortable with sex. Maybe you should ask him about it? He may not want to talk about it but you should anyway. Just ease him into it.

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      • green_boogers
        8 years ago

        Sorry to say, but some people are that oblivious. Could be that he was sexually abused as a child. Could also be a religiously oppressive background, or an excessively strict parent. You'll have to say goodbye as nicely as possible.

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  • Aries
    8 years ago

    I made my last two sexual partners wait 6 months for sex . One of them being my ex girlfriend who I fell deeply in love with and the other being a very close friend whom I have sex with . With the friend I just wanted to build a relationship bond , see if any women came my way I wanted to date , be a gentleman and not expect sex when all I needed and wanted was a friend . My ex girlfriend I always go 90 days or more depending on the circumstances .. I waited 6 months to make sure I wanted to be with her fully and potentially for life . I don't know why he isn't having sex though if you guys don't hold those same values or standards and already had sex? maybe he was disappointed in his performance , maybe he is hiding a disease and scared to say , maybe he didn't enjoy the sex or feel a connection , maybe he is still having sex with someone else , maybe he has a trouble with erections or is too nervous to get them .. listen , there are a huge list of factors . The best advice we could give is to communicate with him and find out ........... communication is priority in any relationship .

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      Honestly I believe there is a performance issue. He had trouble getting fully aroused last time we were sexual. :-/ he tells me how beautiful I am & that he desires me immensely. But then....nothing happens when we are in bed together. I feel so rejected :(

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      • Aries
        8 years ago

        That's what I suspected but don't give up hope yet . I think he should cut out masturbation if he does and just focus on your intimacy when it occurs . If he is out of shape , this can affect his sexual performance but also talk to him and see what he might be able to come up with as a reason .. maybe he has a fetish he is not mentioning . A lot of people with a fetish will not get off without it being present or performed . I think consulting a doctor might also be an option to see his testosterone levels and things of that nature! it could be a simple deficiency or something going on . He could have a lot on his mind .. there are many factors so just try a few avenues and see what happens then re assess things .

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  • regisphilbin
    8 years ago

    you seem to have a lot of misconceptions about men.

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    • Thunderfan74
      8 years ago

      Can you be specific? I am open to ideas and opinions. That's why I posted this!!

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  • Thunderfan74
    8 years ago

    Well....our 1st date, we got a bit drunk & had sex then....& he had NO problems that night. So I don't know. I doubt he's uncomfortable with it. He just doesn't seem to have any kind of sex drive. Is that normal for a man of 38?? Lol

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