Is it normal that my neighbor is doing this?

74% Normal

This is a question that I have wanted an answer to for a while, but I have never dared to ask anyone until now. It goes like this: My neighbor is a 36 year old married woman with two kids in grade school. Her husband lives and works in a different state, and she works full time. I go to school with her kids (I am in high school, they are in early grade school). After school I take her kids home, babysit and feed her kids and then put them to bed. She gets home right around their bedtime, and we usually have a nice chat before I go home to take care of other things. She has a lot of stress in her life, and I act as a sort of confidante to her. Anyway, our talks keep getting longer and longer, and she keeps getting more and more friendly and personable. She even gave me a hug and a smooch the other day when I told her about some accomplishment that I had made. It was a little awkward for me, as I don't know her very well (I have only been doing this a couple of weeks) so I guess the question that I have is: is she trying to hit on me? I do get hit on a lot by girls, but I don't understand why an attractive middle-aged woman like her would hit on me. Is it normal? How should I proceed? I'm not averse to banging her, in fact I think she is pretty hot. Before you ask, I am a consenting male adult. Would it be wrong to do that? Is this even what she is trying to communicate? Please don't be rude, I am just looking for some answers.

Voting Results

74% Normal

Based on 19 votes (14 yes)

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Comments ( 31 )

noid

9 years ago

No, she is married.

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ginsters101

9 years ago

Let her make the move - if she kisses you again then try to turn it into a mouth/mouth kiss. if it goes to tongues then start touching - you know the drill. but she has to start it.

she is married, but clearly living apart, so don't worry about 'him' or being a 'home-breaker', this home is already broken.

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DaDoc

9 years ago

Make the first move because she may never do it. It's better to know than to wonder. Morally is it wrong? Yes, but we live in a very immoral world. If you want to do it, go for it. If she rejects you all you have to do is say you're just curious, and didn't mean any harm. Most people are curious around that age so she'll understand.

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Ellenna

9 years ago

No longer husband and wife, I mean, in addition to the fact that he lives and works somewhere else.

If that's important to you, maybe you could ask her when he's coming back, you'll probably be able to tell from her reply whether or not they've split up.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Well, they are still "together", legally. Not so much in their relationship, from what I gather. I guess that's part of what I am asking: is it okay to "bang" her (for the lack of a better word) if she is still married?
  
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  - Ellenna
    
    9 years ago
    
    Well I think it is OK - he's not around, you're both adults, seems like you're attracted to each other.
    
    However, I would still let her make the first move just in case she's only flirting, because if you make a move she doesn't want you may lose the friendship, not to mention that lucrative part-time work! And in any event, ask the question I suggested above and guage her reaction.
    
    Please let us know what happens!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      All right, I'll do that. :)
      
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Ellenna

9 years ago

Forget about the age difference, it's irrelevant if you're both adults.

If it bothers you I'd be checking if she is in fact separated from her husband, also let her make the first move sexually because at the moment she may just be flirting with you and not intending to take it any further.

Is she paying you for all this childcare? If not, maybe she wants to do a sex exchange with you and I can't see anything wrong with that.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yes, she is paying me, quite generously in fact. What do you mean by "separated from her husband" mean exactly?
  
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

I don't think it's romantic. She might see you like a daughter or a friend.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  That's true. I am just not sure though.
  
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- Ellenna
  
  9 years ago
  
  Ok I just went back & checked and I'm sure OP is male - I think you did the stereotype thing that he's looking after her kids so he must be a girl?
  
  He says "banging" the woman - that sounds male to me
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    I wasn't following any stereotype. The vibe that I got from the writing style, seemed as if a female was writing it.
    
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    - Ellenna
      
      9 years ago
      
      OK, fair enough, but you were obviously mistaken about the "vibe"
      
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Sorry about that. I should have clarified that. I am male.
    
    Edit: There! I put in "male" when describing myself.
    
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- Ellenna
  
  9 years ago
  
  Daughter? Isn't OP male? What have I missed here?
  
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kantai

9 years ago

it seems you have taken a position and are simply seeking justification which won't be forthcoming. SHE'S MARRIED, LEAVE HER ALONE!! MARRIED WOMEN AREN'T ORDINARY/REGULAR WOMEN!! Be cautioned.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I gave a few more details to TareBear in the thread above that I guess I should have put in the post. Please remember that I am just concerned in putting the puzzle pieces together right now.
  
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TareBear20

9 years ago

What kind of smooch was it?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It was on the cheek, but it wasn't just a quick peck.
  
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  - TareBear20
    
    9 years ago
    
    She may have just been going through a hard time and that's her way to show gratitude for being there for her. Don't read into it too much, though, because she is already spoken for and most likely won't cheat on her husband.O.o
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Well she keeps bringing up how "lonely" she is, and she didn't but once mention her husband to me.
      
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      - TareBear20
        
        9 years ago
        
        She is still married, though and you know that. Would you want to be the "side nigga"? If you do act on it, make sure it is her that makes all the moves, because ultimately it is her decision to cheat on her husband, but you don't want that home wrecker stigma attached to you. I think that since your such a hit with the ladies anyway that you should stay away from the married ones, but that's just because I don't believe in cheating on someone.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        Well, she hasn't explained exactly why her husband lives and works far away, but she hinted that they had a falling out. Does that make it okay-ish? I do like this woman a lot, better than any other girl I have met.
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that my neighbor is doing this?