Is it normal that my mother says fuck you to me?

My mother is older and not healthy and she lives in another state. She always talks about who will take care of her, bath her, so she won't have to go to a nursing home. My brother lives in the same state as her and helps her with shopping and stuff. I go to visit when I can. So anyway, the other day I was speaking with her over the phone,like I always do. And this time I just happened to ask her what her favorite soap is and she didn't like that question. I have sensitive skin like my grandma on my mothers side, so I wanted to be sure, just in case she has sensitive skin. I was just showing concern and she said; "Fuck You". Well she can go fuck herself. I'm living in constant guilt, feeling bad that I should be their as she grows old. She was not there for me when I was younger. She did not give a rats ass about sending me to college or preparing me for my future. So I chose my future on my own with no parental guidance. There are alot of times she should have been there for me, but she was not. Now that she is older, I feel guilty about not being there for her because that is all she talks about, getting older. I told her I would be there for her as she ages, although I never took care of an older adult. I don't know the first thing about caring for an aging parent and she did not prepare me for this, especially financially. But nevertheless, I do not say that to her. But when I ask her what her favorite soap is she says Fuck You. I that normal? What shoudl I do stop talking to her because frankly I am sick of her headgames and bullshit. No matter how nice I am to her it doesn't matter.

Voting Results
24% Normal
Based on 146 votes (35 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • kyanviado

    Honestly don't bother, let her go to a nursing home! Never done anything for you so why should you care

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  • Hunger

    I would say refuse to do anything for her unless she apologises because if she says "fuck you" to you, why should you do anything for her?

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  • Dsmart1

    My mom also recently said that to me for the first time. She also is big with guilt trips. I started looking into it and found out she is a narcissist, and has been emotionally abusing me for years. I don't know the rest of your situation but please look up the condition because it could very well be she has it, in which case she won't change and she'll keep making you miserable and feeling guilty.

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  • Stifler

    Well I skipped the bottom half...

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  • Crazystupidguy

    You're mother sounds like a nasty woman. Fuck, my mom cussed at me, but not like that.

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  • DuRieschtSoGut

    She's old, so she's probably not aware that she's still alive, let alone aware of what she says to you.

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  • kelili

    She's your mother and would always be. I would have laughed if my mom said that to me.

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  • lalaaa

    Do what is the best for you or you will regret later...

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  • Dad

    I've seen many parents who talk this way to their children
    Some speak that way because its in their 'normal' vocabulary of everyday speech. Others just seem down right mean and selfish!

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  • shut your mouth!!!!!! say that then continue with conversation normally, call her out on it but sshe could be senile, then be more gentle still say shoosh with that talk right now

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  • dinz

    I found with some older people they get frustrated due to not being able to do things by themselves. (Obviously her refusal to go a nursing house is an indiction) She could of taken the question you asked the wrong way, she probably felt belittled by such a question.

    You could maybe in this situation, ask her if she could write a list of what she need. At least it gives her some form of control over her day to day activities. Never tell her what you want her to do but offer assistance.

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