Is it normal that my mom won't let me spend the night w/ my boyfriend?

53% Normal
23 Comments

I can understand if he and I were teenyboppers, but I'm 20, and he's 21. Yet, my mom is dead against us spending the night together. I don't understand why. I've tried asking her, and she claims that if I do, it means that I don't respect myself and I'll be opening the door to let him disrespect me. What does that even mean? I guess by that logic, then she lets my dad disrespect her? Someone please help me understand because she can't be bothered to explain it without getting pissed at me for not figuring it out on my own. But I don't even know what I'm supposed to figure out! Ugh, it's so frustrating.

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 32 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • MR.mr
    7 years ago

    My best guess she see's you staying over there as announcing to the world that the two of you are sleeping together.
    If you two just fuck someplace and leave, people might just think you two were just hanging out but if you stay the night, anyone who see's you two leave would automatically assume you are having sex.

    Now if that sounds crazy, I agree it kind of is but look at it from your mom's point of view. I don't know your mother but from the way you've put things I'm assuming she doesn't like the idea of you two having sex but she understands you're going to do it. What is probably upsetting her so much is that she is afraid If you stay over it will become undeniable to anyone that you are sexually active and she's afraid of that information getting out and people thinking that you are a slut and if they think you are slut they will disrespect you.

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      I can totally see that. Thanks for your input.

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  • you_go_glen_coco
    7 years ago

    Your mom knows you better than we do. Besides, you don't sound too bright.

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      You're right. Thanks for your input.

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  • forgotusernameagain
    7 years ago

    If you don't like her rules then move out. You don't understand her logic, she and your dad have been together over 20 years so not comparable to you and your bf. Get over yourself

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      It's what I'm saving up my money for! Thanks for your input.

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  • douche_bagtwat
    7 years ago

    Ask your Mom to join in for a threesome.
    Have you or your Mom ever seen his cock and nuts ?

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  • CreamPuffs
    7 years ago

    She's probably just a man-hating prick from her choice of words. I suggest you should not let her control your life.

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  • NormaLeeSane
    7 years ago

    She probably doesn't want you treating her home like a hotel while flouting her rules. It's disrespectful. Yes, you are legally an adult, but you're still living in her home. Respect her rules while living there, and if you want to do something outside of the boundaries she has set, then focus your energies on getting your own place where you get to make the rules.

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      Yeah I can agree with that. I'm saving up my money for that! Thanks for your input.

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  • WinterStormGuy_Of_Feb9,1968
    7 years ago

    You're mom should let you spend the night
    with your boyfriend, heck my mom would call
    this girl off from school and this girl would
    spend the whole day with me, i really loved the
    girl but nothing sexual went on cause of our age
    but your mom needs to face things, if she's worried
    that your having sex than she needs to get you on
    birth control such as implant, shot would be best
    i mean there is nothing no can do we all have
    experimented with sexual activity and such.

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      Yeah, I totally agree! I've had previous sexual partners, so it's not like it'd be anything new. I use condoms, but not birth control because I couldn't ever remember to take the pills on time. I don't trust implants or injections because I don't think all that hormone being pumped into you at once would be very good for you. You're right though, sexual feelings are a part of human nature! Thanks for your input.

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      • WinterStormGuy_Of_Feb9,1968
        7 years ago

        You're welcome:) Wish you well on this but
        i think you should be able to spend time
        with your boyfriend and that is good you
        use condoms..Little advice hunnie never
        trust when a guy tells you the pull out
        method will prevent you from getting pregnant
        that is old wise tales, chances of getting
        pregnant is 50 / 50 chance cause when he
        sticks it in you, it can contain live sperm
        pre-cum or per-ejaculate.

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  • Reflexian
    7 years ago

    At your age you are free to move out of the house and go live on your own and do whatever you want. I don't know if religion is involved, if so i think you already have the answer to why your mother thinks that way.

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      You're right! Though she is Christian, religion doesn't influence anything. I'm saving as much money as I can though! Thanks for your input.

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  • maaximum
    7 years ago

    Maybe she wants him

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      I doubt it, but thanks for your input!

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  • Terence_the_viking
    7 years ago

    She sounds like she is old fashion.

    You should show her the used rubber johnnies.

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      She is. I kinda am too, but not nearly as much.
      Haha, no way; she'd flip! Thanks for your input.

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  • ShereKhan
    7 years ago

    she fears he's going to insert his long john inside you

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      Haha! It isn't like I've not had sex before though. Thanks for your input.

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    This is just my opinion, but it sounds like she's reliving her youth through you, and being overprotective and controlling so you don't make the same mistakes she may have made at your age; or she's treating you like how her mother treated her, or a combination of both.

    Whatever the reason may be, it's clear she doesn't see you as a responsible young adult, and the best thing you can do is work toward moving out.

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    • hgmercury
      7 years ago

      You pretty much hit the nail on the head. I'm saving up all the money I can! Thanks for your input.

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