Is it normal that my mom is always this sick?
I have a feeling that this might not be normal, but I am not entirely sure. I'd like to hear input and your perspective of the situation as well, thank you.
My Mom is a 45 year old, upper-middle class caucasian homemaker. She has two kids (myself and my brother) and a husband who makes pretty good money. For as long as I can remember (I am 23), she has always been sick. Usually every month, she will have a cold, laryngitis, the flu or some other random illness.
She does not take care of herself at all and from what I remember, never has. She is on a lot of pills for arthritis and other things. I know that she had a meth addiction in her twenties and had been in a car accident or two. She is being treated for her thyroid, arthritis and her depression and other misc. diseases. She pretty much spends 80% of her day sleeping, watching TV, eats mostly cookies, brownies and cakes and smokes two packs of cigarettes a day. She has always been like this.
She cleans and cooks very infreqeuntly and I know that I should think that my Dad is a douche for this, but he hates that she is always so sick. He used to be really nice and sweet to her about her being ill on a regular basis but now he is fed up with it. He works 13-15 hour days and she does not do her end of the job. She was always an absent parent and she always has an illness. Always. And when she isn't sick she will do cleaning sometimes, but she considers my Dad to be an ass for expecting her to cook and clean. She prefers shopping.
She sees a lot of doctors for her depression and illnesses and they all plead with her to stop smoking, eat better and leave the house and exercise more often but she gets so angry whenever they or we try to say anything to her or try to invite her out to do anything other than sit around and smoke that I have given up. I feel so horrible for it. She says that she has depression, so she has no motivation to do anything like therapy, exercise or caring for her health and that I don't understand how horrible depression is. I don't know what to say to her when she says that she can't change because she has depression. I've never had depression.
I used to do all of the housework myself, but I am a student and I work and it has become quite difficult. I spent most of my life being told that I am an asshole if I do not take on all of her housekeeping responsibilities. I had to move out because they were too heavy on me. Maybe I am an asshole. I just don't know anymore. She is so messy and I would do 8 hours of cleaning only to come home from work to a horribly messy house. Maybe I should have done more?
Is it normal for her to be this sick all the time?
Side question, is my Dad a douche for expecting her to do housework?