Is it normal that my life changed after acid?
i was at a free party (i live in england, its like an illegal rave, big soundsystem in the woods playing music until sunrise) a few months back
and i dropped a tab of acid. id never done any kind of psychotic before, just weed, ketamin and eccstacy mainly. people always called me 'spinny' before and now its gotten worse. my world no longer makes sense alot of the time. i was feeling fine, sat in the woods with my bestfriend (who was also tripping balls) getting kaleidoscope vision, seeing mirrors amongst the trees and seeing myself in the 3rd person, like i was above myself looking down. this part was amazing, sense of euphoria was incredible, my vision had a sepia/golden tinge like we were in the land of gods. but 5 or 8 hours past and it was time to time to go home but i didnt want to leave the woods, something made me want to stay there forever. i was still tripping bad when they pretty much tried to drag me into the car. i lost it. you know when you have a bad dream and you fight it and you manage to turn the tables and it all gets better? i tried to do that but it got so much worse. i started shaking the drivers seat and passenger seat (i was sat in the back) and punching the car ceiling as hard as i could. it got so bad that i saw a white light and i blacked out, apparently my head went limp between my knees. worst of all i ACCEPTED DEATH, i came to terms with the fact that i had died. i began to 'test' the trip. i thought "okay if im dead what happens if i do this..." i grabbed my bestfrieds leg (he was still tripping but in a good space still) and started to squeeze it as hard as i could, turned to him like chuckie and hissed "you're not real" then continued to mutter that for an age. i then had my head between by knees again chanting "help me" almost sobbing as i did so. i suddenly burst out of the car (presumably whilst it was still moving) we were on a long country lane still and ripped off my jacket hat shoes and t shirt and screamed "HELP MEEEE" at the top of my lungs into the valley we had just came from. a split second later i was in the car again, this happened several time. i kept saying "why wont anyone help me i just want to get home no one understands" by get home i meant to normal life. i was dropped off by a park far from home to sober up because understandably no one wanted me in there homes as it was about 11 am. me and my bestie sat there as we both began to get back to reality.
afterwards though i feel like my perspective on life had changed. like i understood everything that it all made sense. i used to be really keen on getting a good eduction now i cant be fucked and am even less motivated now than i was before. i get these repercussions where i basically have a very brief trip, head between knees, twitching, it disturbs my friends but i cant help it. sometime i think whether over people see me in the same way because i dont see myself in the same way at all. is this normal?