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Hi im 19 years old and have been dating the same girl for about a year now, i love her and she says she loves me but she wont even make out with me until we get married, i try not to complain about it but it is really hard, i have had several girlfriends in the past and never put up with anything like this.
Being raised in a strict Christian background, I've seen this lots of times. She's probably afraid she'll take it further if she makes out with you. Hell, the people at my church are afraid of even holding hands lol. Just be open and honest with her and she might change with time.
Relationships are more than just sex. I think she wants to do those things with you, but she doesn't want to go against her religion. Either accept that in her or move on to someone else.
Respect here decision ? . It's been a year and you haven't made out with her?? I agree with other comments , it sounds like a friendship .
The fact that you're respecting this decision of hers is probably what's making her love you even more. Try kissing her on the cheek? And maybe she'll eventually get used to the idea and try kissing you on the lips instead.
Dude a year?
That's rough......I'd talk to her about it, show that it's important to you.
If some traumatic experienced happen that scarred her then try and work with her on it.
If she's just religious...point out no where in the bible does it say you can't make out. Just no sex till marriage.
I totally disagree with the other comments, it is possible to be in a romantic relationship with someone without actually doing anything with them. Maybe she is very conservative, or maybe she doesn't actually like men...? Try to find out WHY she doesnt want to make out.
@thatsfunnyshit omg you are gross and should probably respect girls more!
Is she very christian like or something. Maybe you should talk to her, im sure something could be arranged. and make sure she really does love you cause i dont understand that one.
And sounds like she's using your guys relationship to her benefit. Now I don't know if you buy her stuff or take her places. If you do stop!! Obviously you're tired of it.
My bff was like that! and oh my gosh she would tell me she hated it not because it was like all nasty and stuff but cause she was scared she sucked so my point is maybe your girlyfriend is like all scared like my bff was? Ask her and like if she is then omg you should like try to help her and show her in a nice way too don't be a meanie! and like be aggressive a lil girls like it [;
I have run into this before, here is what I did. When she and I were out, I would whip out my peter and start spanking it in random places until it spits. Explain to her that this is what happens when she does not fulfill your needs. If that doesn't work, start hanging out at strip joints and banging nasty chicks.
^^^ if she doesn't actually like men what is she doing in a relationship
With a man ?
Is she using you? If she hated making out it would be a total different story. Kissing only after marriage, what the fucking fuck? It's not as if she's losing her virginity or anything, plainly tell her what you think and feel. If she's not happy, good luck to her with her future relationships is all I can say.
More details? Does she want to wait because of religious beliefs? I know a girl like that & now she and her then boyfriend are married, in a very happy relationship, and just had their 2nd child. On the other hand, one_guy has a point, do u feel like she's using/manipulating u?
I mean we kiss ya, we just never make out, she's catholic and extremely opposed to premarital sex and says stuff like she thinks it might lead to us having sex or something, and no she's not using me she's an awesome girlfriend every other way and i dont do anymore for her than a normal boyfriend would as far buying her stuff. She does say she cant wait for us to get married so we can finally make love but a year has been really hard, not to be a jerk but idk how i can go another 2 or 3 years like this.
I know it's hard but if you really do love her, wait. It doesn't sound like she will change her mind and you shouldn't try to talk her out of what she wants because it's her religion that is holding her back. So you know the facts. Either you can wait. Or you can't. She told you what she wants. Now it's up to you to stay or leave.
She sounds like she is pulling something. Do you spoil her? You should grab her and give her the most passionate kiss then see if she refuses you do it like an old movie
I agree with Valkeer... Sexual affection is a very important part of building a strong relationship! you need to know everything about a person to commit, you can't know everything if all you have ever done is hold hands. The more awkward stories and situations will not be discussed because the level of comfort is not there.
I agree with Valkeer, something very rare, I don't believe she cares about you op at all, if I had to guess I would say she is using in some way.
Dump her.
Why don't you talk to her about "why" she is not interested in "making out" with you. Also, "making out" means different things to different people. Be really clear about what you want and make sure she is on the same page with you. Only with open dialogue can you move past this stalemate and understand what to do next.
Yes, that is her decision. I didn't say it was right. All I was getting at was that he CHOSE to get into a relationship with a girl who already had it set in her mind that she wanted to wait. That's not her fault unless she wasn't completely honest in the first place.
"That is her decision"
Relationships are not a one way street. She needs to consider lightening up on the No Nada policy before she loses the one she supposedly loves.
To the OP:
I doubt she loves you at all or if she does she's extremely misguided in her approach to you. You two need to sit down and discuss this and tell her everything you've told us.
Your concerns, your needs, your fears etc. Then if she won't relent then you have to come to the place to where you either break off the relationship or give in to her wishes.
It's your choice.
wreckd:
Sorry I can't do the at thing. It goes in for moderation for like days at a time. Very frustrating...
That's not fair to the guy. I can see maybe holding out on sex but there's no reason for not making out. Like I said, if she truly loved him why doesn't she show it? If I loved someone I wouldn't be able to help myself from displaying it. My love would come to the surface through my actions so why aren't hers?
In the end our actions show us for what we really are. Mere words for what we wish.
@ Valkeer...I agree it is very frustrating but that is her decision. He chooses to question it and stay with her rather than leave. I truly do feel for him being in this predicament. It's not easy to hold back from making out if that's what you're used to. In the end, they'll either stay together, she may cave in, or he may decide enough is enough and leave.
If that's the case then what's the difference between a marriage and what I have with my friends? Or with my parents?
No, there are many types of love in this world. Some are expressed in a father/son way, others are expressed with sexual affection as it's done between men and women.
A sexual relationship isn't sexual if there's nothing sexual about it.
It's different because in this case, there are future plans for sexual affection. She's not saying she's a nun but still wants a boyfriend. She's saying be with me and eventually you will get the goods. A relationship is still considered a relationship if you want to wait.
Having and expressing emotional attachments for each other. Loving each other. Sexual affection is just another way of showing the love. Sexual affection doesn't MAKE a relationship. It makes it better, yes. But it isn't a necessity.
Respect her decision. Chances are she'll cave in anyway. Buy/rent romantic movies and watch them with her. If anything it will peak her interest in it.
3/25/11 That's really strange and no don't respect her decision. If you're not even making out it's not a relationship; it's a friendship with the opposite sex.
Either get her to show you some kind of sexual affection or find someone who will.