Is it normal that my girlfriend went to prom with another guy?

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28 Comments

Well, the first thing to note is that we're lesbians. Secondly, when prom came around, we had been dating for seven months.

Now to try to get STRAIGHT to the point. (see what I did there?)
So we're in love, but we had to keep it a secret because she's not out yet. one of her guy friends (let's call him mr. Manboob) has liked her for a while. At first I didn't mind, but when he would try to put his stanky moves (no. Seriously. This guy is a creep.) on her, she'd be too "nice" to tell him no. And I can't do anything about it because we're still in hiding.
So he asked her to prom, and well, she said yes. As you can imagine, prom was a jealous mess filled with his bad dancing, and her ignoring me.
Is it normal that she pretty much blew off my feelings, just so she could appear as straight?

Voting Results
30% Normal
Based on 113 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • StarTeddy
    10 years ago | pl

    I understand her fear, and wanting to be seen as straight but she needs to be considerate of your feelings. I think you need to have a talk with her about how her actions are affecting you. She certainly doesn't need to get all friendly with a creep to cover up that she's gay; and if she's too "nice" to tell him to stop, she needs to learn how to set boundaries with people.

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    I honestly thought this was going to be about you not wanting to take her. She should come out already or else not betray you by hooking up with another guy. That is really messed up and if she ignored you the whole time that's even worse. She should have just went to prom alone since honestly she is leading him on and in a way cheating on you. Hiding it is one thing but stabbing you in the back is really fucked up.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    10 years ago

    I have been in her position of being too nice to tell him to quit behaving like a pig. It's entirely possible that she sees putting up with his behavior as a normal function of their friendship and she does not truly perceive it as creepy. I think you need to make her aware that she is leading him on, that his intentions are less than pure and that his behavior is disrespectful

    You could offer to talk to him for her, not as girlfriend but as a concerned best friend to lead her into the dialogue.

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  • TwentyTwo
    10 years ago

    Sorry to say, but what a bitch.

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    • davesumba
      10 years ago

      If you are referring to the OP, then I agree.

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      • TeganAndSara
        10 years ago

        How am I a bitch? I stood by her and watched out for her, even though she pretended we were complete strangers.
        I watched her flirt around, and Ignore me, but I still caught her Everytime she fell.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    What she did is not cool and not okay. You deserve better.

    Unless she has a legitimate reason to appear straight (like super religious gay hating parents that will kill her if they find out) this is wrong. The right woman will do anything for you and for your love. At the very least she could have went with you, as friends.

    You shouldn't have to wait around for her to make up her mind. And you shouldn't take this lightly. Actions speak louder than words. Sure, it can be uncomfortable to be out, but it's 2013 for Christ's sake!

    What she did was really disrespectful. Either she should have went with you, and took the piss, or stayed single. If you guys are in an open relationship, that's different, but it didn't sound that way. No relationship is easy. My boyfriend embarrasses me a lot sometimes, but we deal with it, and I still love him. I know it may hurt if you really like her to end it, but it will hurt a lot more to continue with her acting this again... and maybe again...

    I'd talk to her and see if she has a good excuse.

    But it sounds to me, like this is the end of the line for you two. Even if you're upset, please try not to do something similar.

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  • anti-hero
    10 years ago

    If you are a girl then how was it 'another' guy? It was just a guy.

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    • TeganAndSara
      10 years ago

      "is it normal that my girlfriend went to prom with a guy" doesn't sound like what I was aiming for. If you add "another," the question can be read with a little bit of jealousy.

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      • Bloodyvagdischarge
        10 years ago

        stop being a dumb cunt and realize that she is embarrassed to be seen with a dike and she probably gives hand jobs and bloweys to guys behind dumpsters.

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        • ObsessedWithReedus
          10 years ago

          What is it with you and doing things behind dumpsters?

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        • RoseIsabella
          10 years ago

          You misspelled Dyke!!!

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        • Hitlеr
          10 years ago

          There is no such thing as gays.

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  • mixwell
    10 years ago

    Have you thought of the possibility she might be bi ? Also your shit talking about the guy makes you sound insecure and childish. Maybe she's in an experimental phase with women and she is losing interest..

    It's not uncommon for girls to experiment with their chick friends..

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    • macaroniheyo
      10 years ago | pl

      But they were not experimenting. They were in a serious relationship.

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    • TeganAndSara
      10 years ago

      The only reason she's flirting around with him is because she wants to appear straight. She's not "experimenting."
      She's sure that she's a lesbian, but she knows that I would love her either way.

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      • disthing
        10 years ago

        Ha you're called Tegan and Sara. No questioning your sexuality :P

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        • TeganAndSara
          10 years ago

          Haha yeah! :)
          I'm about as gay as they come.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    If she's still in the closet then yeah it's totally normal. She doesn't wanna be seen dancing with a woman and having her prom pic with another girl. She shouldn't be hiding though. I know people can be absolutely cruel when it comes to things like that, but fuck it, you guys are young and you only live once. You should find some guy to go with and try to make her feel what you are feeling so she gets it.

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  • bewwolliwhtom
    10 years ago

    I think it's time to move on. Find someone who is out and loves being seen as your partner not someone who is ashamed.

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  • davesumba
    10 years ago

    I don't see anything wrong with this, just a girl in the closet trying to fit in (and only she can decide when she's comfortable enough with herself to come out).

    I was going to say it's not okay, because my sister was dating a guy, but someone else asked her to prom first and she said yes in spite of her boyfriend just to rub it in his face that he didn't go out of his way to ask her out to prom in a cute way.

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  • Sog
    10 years ago

    Who did you go to prom with, if not her?

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  • pacinoharmon
    10 years ago

    I agree w/ most of the other comments. She could be bi or experimenting. But yeah, it was rude of her to ignore you, and this guy sounds like a perv.

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    If it was a friend of hers it would be fine, but she should of said no to him.

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  • Devyn
    10 years ago

    Could some one explain to me how proms work?

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  • watermelonninja
    10 years ago

    she may not be gay.Leave her alone.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Fake

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    • TeganAndSara
      10 years ago

      Why would you think that?

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