Is it normal that my girlfriend is so needy?

33% Normal
16 Comments

I apologise about the length of this in advance but...
I have been in a same-sex relationship now for a year and I love my girlfriend very much. However, my personal life isn't great. My mum suffers from severe depression and is suicidal. It is just my mum and I in the house and I have tried to explain to my girlfriend that I can't see her everyday because I do need to be with my mum at times.
I try to see my girlfriend 3/4 times a week but it is easier for me to leave my mum at night when she can sleep so usually it would be around from 8pm until around 1/2am or else I would stay at her house.
She said this isn't enough and fights with me on a regular basis saying I am selfish and up my mum's ass because I put her first... Do you think this is true?
Just recently my mum was diagnosed with cancer and when I told her she broke up with me saying I wouldn't have enough time for her anymore and she didn't want to be in relationship with someone if they had no time for her. However, we made up after much begging by me.
I know that she misses me when I don't see her but am I horrible for wanting my mum to be ok?
Thank you.

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 36 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    Wow. I can understand wanting to see you more and being upset about it, but that's a little much. If she can't handle it leave her.

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    • teddypickaa
      8 years ago

      Thanks for your comment, i just didn't know if i was being insensitive.

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  • jethro
    8 years ago

    You only get one mother in life. But you can have hundreds of girlfriends. Much like busses, hang around and another one will be by in a few minutes. You should take care of your mother while you still have her. She didn't dump you when you were a baby. So don't dump her now.

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    • teddypickaa
      8 years ago

      Thanks for your comment, I know that. I won't ever abandon my mum as she was left in the street as a baby and has no other family and my dad did a runner. Wouldn't ever leave her :)

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  • TrustMeImLying
    8 years ago

    how old are you two? I can understand having the urge to see a significant other more than 4 times a week, but throwing fits over it and giving you ultimatums? and especially when you are already stressed about a family situation? bizarre. any mature significant other would understand and give you time and space. I'm not going to jump the gun and suggest you dump her. but you need to quit doubting yourself, and confront her about this in person. lay it all out on the table. if she really cared for you, she'd make this temporary compromise/adjustment in a heartbeat, and not make you choose between her and a family member.

    I'll be blunt with you though. don't be surprised if things don't end well from here onwards. judging from your "much begging" and her fighting, she's built up an ego which will prevent her from making any compromises. and why should she? if she's always gotten her way.

    it's no easy situation because of how much she means to you, but have the courage to walk away from it all if needed. no one deserves to be with someone who emotionally blackmails them.

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    • teddypickaa
      8 years ago

      20 haha. Yeh it's always been like this and because I accepted it at first she's learned that she can treat me that way and I'll stick with her. It hurts a lot that I would ever have to choose but it's making me physically ill because of the stress of it all so maybe it's time to walk away.

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  • Caryopteris
    8 years ago

    Your girlfriend sounds immature and selfish. Don't reward that behavior. If you have time to see her only once or twice a week, that's okay and I say so. If she gets mad, tell her that it would be best to break up and stick to the plan. But she sounds so immature she may try to break or steal your stuff, so watch out.

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    • teddypickaa
      8 years ago

      Haha thanks for your comment, she's very clingy and needy and it's not that I don't appreciate that she wants to see me, there's just an appropriate way to act in different situations.

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  • Nokiot9
    8 years ago

    If u see her 4 times a friggin week and have a legit excuse for being absent, then she needs to understand or hit the bricks. Don't put up with that shit. Tell her to grow the fuck up and quit being a needy baby.

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  • RoyRogers
    8 years ago

    Get your mother a therapist and move out as soon as possible. You are the child not her therapist and shes going to end up abusing you eventually when you stop giving her what she wants. Your mother needs professional help, and you will not be able to take care of mommy your whole life.

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  • Short4Words
    8 years ago

    How long have you been together?

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    • teddypickaa
      8 years ago

      Just over 14 months

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      • Short4Words
        8 years ago

        Has your mother besides the time she takes from your girlfriend, ever done or said anything to her?

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        • teddypickaa
          8 years ago

          No, my mum is nice to her :)

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          • Short4Words
            8 years ago

            I feared that. Maybe it's good this is cropping up now instead of later because breaking up with someone and telling them they'll be up there moms yoohoo is not a mature response to the situation.

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            • teddypickaa
              8 years ago

              Yeh I know, it's been hard to accept.

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