Is it normal that my girlfriend bites, scratches, pinches me pretty ha

38% Normal
5 Comments

I have been dating this wonderful girl for 9 months now. We were a summer fling that fell in love and I've never been happier. None of us are perfect and we both have our flaws that we are working on, but, she randomly bites me, scratches me, and pinches me pretty hard. I used to try and be a tough guy and brush it of . But it really hurts sometime . It leaves marks (I do have sensitive skin . I've brought it up before saying that it hurts me and I have a problem with it and she's just kind of brushed it off saying it was normal and when I ask her mom or her friends they (of course) side with her. But when I talk to my parents who have been married 25 years and my friends, they say that it's not OK and that I need her to respect me. Is it normal to do that stuff??

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38% Normal
Based on 32 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • steelerqbfan
    7 years ago

    I talked to her about it. She told me that it was a way to let out her frustration and anger. And after she told me it wasn't a big deal earlier. She flipped out and told me I betrayed her trust. We talked about it and she said she would stop and she felt terrible. I mean, I'm not perfect, but when is it too much? How many chances do I give her?

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    • Tealights
      7 years ago

      You're a person, not a stress ball. There are healthier ways to let out stress that doesn't involve purposely hurting someone.

      How many chances? Sadly, that's up to you. Abusive relationship are emotionally stressful because no matter how wrong/hurtful the abuser is she/he will try to justify it with some excuse or simply apologize, and with so many intense feelings in the way, we believe them somehow. In my opinion, you should end the relationship when she hurts you again; however, you should leave when you feel ready to.

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      • Chains123
        7 years ago

        I'm not sure how sadism works but as a masochist being hurt in a sexual way relieves stress. Maybe it's the same for sadism except hurting others.

        She might not think of him as a stress ball but she may be a sadist.

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    End the relationship. Like what BareClaire said, you're being abused and her behavior was learned.

    Abusive relationships normally always start out GREAT, intoxicating even (speaking from experience). After a few months (typically 6, more or less) strange, yet hurtful behavior appears; it could be physical, emotional, sexual, or all combined. It makes you feel uneasy, but worried if you're overreacting or not, since this person seems so perfect. Sound familiar?

    You bring up your feelings about the behavior briefly, depending on the abuser, it can end with an argument that leads to you feeling guilty, or "You can't take a joke?", or your feelings being completely dismissed.

    Abusers rarely change, no matter how much love you feed it. Get out now while it's still early or before you get her pregnant.

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  • BareClaire
    7 years ago

    If she was doing it in a sexual way then that could be normal for her and what she likes.

    If she is just randomly biting pinching and scratching you during arguments or when she doesnt get her own way then thats a really deep rooted problem.
    If this is the case then you are better off getting out of the relationship before she scratches you with a knife or scratches your eyes out or pushes you down the stairs.

    If her parents and family dont want to know about it then its likely learned behaviour and inherent violence in the family.

    If you really love her you can try talking to her and see if she will get help and counseling. If she flat out refuses then get the hell outa there.

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