Is it normal that my friends have changed and i've become depressed?

I used to have a great group of warm, supportive, kind friends. We'd support each other through the thin and thicks, they kept me going in life. Going through all the trouble at home, dealing with all the trouble I'd face on a daily basis, I honestly don't think I'd be alive today without them. I was incredibly lucky to have found these friends.

Now, everything's different. In my environment, there were these hateful and bitter people. They were the majority and they would show no mercy to anyone who didn't act similar to them. Our little happy group was split apart. Everyone changed, including me. In fact, I may have had the worst change of all. I changed into a bitter and hateful person, I dicked everything up and it can never be changed back.

These bitter and hateful people are no longer the majority, but their problems and changes they caused will never be erased. One of my friends is on the verge of suicide and I'm powerless to stop them. I'm useless to them, they don't want me as a friend anymore. I could never help them.

Other friends of mine changed to me, naturally, as I turned into one of the bitter hateful people for awhile. They could no longer 'open their hearts' to me and we could no longer be a happy group. I think the rest of them are picking up the pieces and slowly coming back together. I try to also join back with them, I've apologised profusely, but I know I can never atone for what happened. We can never be friends again.

I can't recover from these losses either, because there's an endless cycle of pain that refuses to end. This cycle consists of:
Hope (it seems like we're being friends again) -> dissapointment (I realise we're actually not growing closer at all) -> Sadness (the remainder of my hope begins to fade and I feel worse and worse -> Depression (I know it'll never be the same, I'll never be happy like I was and I don't feel like doing anything.)

This cycle just keeps restarting because I keep seeing them but with the same social facade and the same emotional guards up, yet some days it feels like they really will treat me like they did before. Then I realise my expectations were too high and that I misinterpreted what they were saying and that it was still the same as before.

Just avoiding them and never seeing them is too painful for me to face, though, it's a bit like grief. I've lost these happy people, these people that were always there for me because I screwed it up. I don't want to face that, I don't want to go through the stages of recovery and so I just stay trapped in this painful cycle. I'm too afraid to do anything.

It's gotten to the point where I just lie on my bed, doing nothing. I feel like there will be nothing good in my life ever again and am taking too many days off my work. I just don't know what to do, is there anything I can do?

Is this normal? Has anyone else had to cope with this? What did you do? Please, any help at all is greatly appreciated. Even if it's criticism, I understand I've been idiotic and am paying for it.

Note: I'm sorry this is so long, feel free to skim through it.

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 24 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Terence_the_viking

    I'm sorry that oyu are feeling this way. Friends should alway be there for you no matter what it seems to me that people don't know the meaning of true friendship anymore.

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    • Thank you and I think they have. They've all completely changed and they'll never change back. That's what really hurts.

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  • You can't fill a cup that's already full. Find new friends and you'll find that you're completely over your negative friends.

    For your sake do it; and don't listen to your grief. Man's mind is the enemy of life. By trying to save him, it will kill him.

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  • Energy

    Wait, did they change into bitter people or just you? Or both of y'all?

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    • I changed into a bitter person for a time and so did a couple of my friends.
      The rest of my friends didn't become bitter, they just became more wary. Some of them became selfish, they lost their trust or turned into people who only care about the social status of who they're talking to.

      After the bitter people who 'took over' left, some of my friends are coming back together as a group but they still treat me a bit like an outsider because of who I became.

      I've stopped being hateful now, though. I was only bitter when the majority were, because I was greatly effected by the people around me (and these people were, sadly, bitter people).

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      • Energy

        Bro, (sorry if you are female) it looks like it's time to get new friends. It just doesn't look like they have your back anymore. And you deserve better. Don't be depressed over them. People do change and sometimes they don't change back. So, I wouldn't keep hoping that somehow they'll return to their normal selves.... They aren't the only people in the world you know.

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  • Short4Words

    I desperately want to help you because I know how you feel. Do you think we could talk?

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    • Thank you so much.
      Definitely, I think I need to talk to someone who knows what it's like. It would really help me, I just don't know what to do because I was lucky enough to have never experienced the pain of losing friends (until now).

      Is there a PM system or similar on this site? I can't seem to find one.

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      • Short4Words

        If you click my name the option should be there. I barely know how to work it either. Sorry for the late reply by the way.

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