Is it normal that my flatmate has fallen for me?

7 Comments

I am girl and I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend. I am at university in my freshers year and living in student accomodation. I have a flatmate who is a girl. She is a really good and nice flatmate. We are friends and get on very well. We talk a lot and most of the time for hours on end. Recntly, I noticed that she has become a lot closer to me. When we went for a night out she got a little drunk but still sober enough to know what she was doing. She told me that she likes me. Then now, whenever I mention I am talking to my boyfriend she seems to get jealous. She keeps saying "its okay you text your boyfriend. Dont waste your time on me. Im not that important". At first I thought she was joking but she seems to be getting more and more serious. Then next year I am living with my friends and not with her. She keeps bringing up the topic of meeting with me all the time next year and coming to cook at my flat. Am I thinking too much into this? I have aboyfriend and frankly I dont know how to face a female flatmae that likes me.

I should ignore thesituation and pretend I don't realise 4
I should confront her and tell her she is only a friend to me 34
Tell my boyfriend to speak to her 5
Stop being friends with her and keep my distance 3
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Living_Too_Late
    11 years ago

    For the moment I'd continue with the pretence,,, and try to maintain it till the 4 months are up.

    From your description, the girl sounds a lil bit psycho. She knows you have a BF but chooses to move in on you anyway. That shows a lack of empathy and respect for an established couple.. Her comments that you call 'jealous' are also manipulative. Essentially she's saying "Give ME your attention or I will punish you (by sulking)". Selfish AND controlling, and you're not even an item. Even if you were tempted by a same-sex relationship,, I'd avoid her.

    It's possible I'm reading too much into the little you've provided but if you weren't worried you wouldn't have posted. Look for other signs that she's trying to manipulate you or your relationship. Hopefully she'll get a grip, but be mindful that she may not give up so easily. Keep your BF appraised cuz she may try to sabotage your relationship through him.

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    • rowingismylife07
      11 years ago

      Yeah I think I will just keep my distance and not say anything. Hopefully, she wont go crazy and sabotage our relationship. My boyfriend is at different uni 3hrs away from me...in a way its a good thing so she cant really do anything. Plus its hard to say anything to her without being nasty so i may as well just keep my mouth shut and avoid her. Maybe eventually she'll give up... Thanks for all the useful comments! :)

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Tell her how it makes you feel.

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  • cupcake_wants
    11 years ago

    Its gotta be hard to live with somebody and have to deal with their drama like that. if u confront it could cause things to b more hectic around the house. maybe if u r really nice about it, though u cant lead her to think ur into her when ur not. what does ur bf & others think u should do?

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    • rowingismylife07
      11 years ago

      Hey, thanks for the reply and advice. Im not sure though. I still have to live with her for another 4 months... My boyfriend says i should just pretend i dont realise and keep away from her. Tbh i kinda want to say something to clarify the situation with her but i dont want to make it anymore awkward than it already is? Really have no idea!

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    Well if you are not living with her maybe she just likes living with you. If she was drunk she might not have realized what she was saying or forgot the next day. Maybe she likes you paying attention to her since she thinks of you as a friend. It could be possible she is into you. I would say maybe talk to her about when she told you that she likes you.

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  • Living_Too_Late
    11 years ago

    It's good that your BF is elsewhere. I'd wondered if you were all socializing at college campus events.

    One thing I left out because I'd rambled on long enough and didn't want you worrying unduly. That stuff about bringing you meals after you've moved shows that she has some kind of (idyllic) fantasy going on.

    She's probaby just a bit screwed up and harmless but the aspects of her behaviour that I've highlighted are indicative of 'bunny boiler' potential. So, keep your wits about you and maybe make some plans to move out quickly if she takes a turn for the worse.

    Hopefully, her infatuation with you will wear off soon. Good luck with your current dilemma and, indeed, your studies, future career and life.

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