Is it normal that my first love and i can't get rid of each other.

I met this guy Josh in 2010, I fell in love with him after only a month of dating, he was my first love, I had been in many long relationships before him, even one lasting 3 1/2 years, but Josh was the first guy who ever got me to be in love. We dated a year, I live in Cali, he lives in Florida, we only saw each other once during the relationship, it was the best days of my life to this day. His family hated me, thought of me as "that internet girl", his brother made a girl kiss him to try to break us up even. His friends bullied me, and he cheated on me with the one girl I worried about the most. Me and Josh never went further than kissing when I saw him, he broke my heart after we dating for a few weeks the first time by dumping me for that girl and giving her his virginity. I managed to take him back even though through the rest of our relationship I had to always worry about her being in class with him every day, the thought killed me. The distance, the bullying, the hate, and the worry just became to much, in late 2011 we finally called things off. He started dating a new girl shortly after but it didn't work out, I became desperate to get over him and slept with a guy from school, it only made things worse, he went on my facebook and updated my status telling everyone what I did without me knowing. We kept talking, he led me to believe things were healing between us, 3 months later I texted him just as usual, and he told me he couldn't talk to me he had a gf, I never had any idea he even liked another girl, just the day before he was confessing his feelings for me. He dated her for 5 months without saying a word to me, then one day he came back and wanted to talk, as friends, behind his girlfriends back, I was weary at first but I missed him too much not too.. We talked secretly for 6 more months, then him and his gf broke up. He admitted to me recently he still has feelings for me, and vice versa, but he said he can't date long distance again. That was a few weeks ago. Ever since then, I've hardly replied to his texts, he texts me all the time. I don't care for when he texts, and I even get annoyed by him at times for constantly messaging me and he gets really angry when I don't reply to him for hours even days. I don't know what I'm feeling. Am I still in love with him? Is he still in love with me? I forgot to mention earlier I am his first and only love also just how he is mine. Why can't we stop talking to each other for good?