Is it normal that my fiancée wont hardly lookat me during sex anymore?

30% Normal

Long story short we have been together for six months. When we first got together he was a virgin he's almost thirty and when we started off having sex he was so interested in me always looked atbme during and touched me etc. Now he doesn't if I'm on top he looks at the ceiling mostly and kisses me a little and when he's on top he usually. Just has his face buried over my shoulder. I am about three months pregnant and showing a little. He claims he finds me attractive but his actions say different and its tearing me up. I don't get why he's acting this way.

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30% Normal

Based on 61 votes (18 yes)

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Comments ( 41 )

Darkoil

9 years ago | pl

Your real problem is this, you are engaged and having a baby after only 6 months and it would seem that he is no longer attracted to you. Biologically 3 years is about the length of time for the feelings of attraction to be replaced by love, I could be wrong but you can't force yourself to find someone attractive, even if you want to.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago | pl

Big mistake getting engaged and pregnant to someone you have been with 6 months,

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- walkingzombie
  
  9 years ago
  
  That's real nice
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    Are you being sarcastic? It's impossible to truly know somebody in that amount of time. It takes years to develop a relationship where you know somebody well, and even then, often still do not know.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      We were best friends first I've known him about a year
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        9 years ago | pl
        
        A year? You have a lot to learn about life.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        Yeah and so does everyone else you are mean I wanted advice not someone to be a jerk
        
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reminiscent

9 years ago

Did you tell him that you like it when he looks at you and touches you? Positive reinforcement? Maybe start making an effort to look at him and touch him more see if he starts doing it back...then tell him how much u like it.

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- Gspyder
  
  9 years ago
  
  This. My guess is it's not you, he was attracted enough to propose and to get you pregnant (in whatever order those two events took place). I bet he's freaked out about being a dad and now that you are showing he's being forced to think about it.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    That's something I was worried abot
    
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    - Gspyder
      
      9 years ago
      
      It can be overwhelming, especially depending on where you are in life. Why don't you try talking to him about it and remind him that it will be a lot to figure out, but he won't be going through it alone. A lot of times it becomes all about being there for the mother, but becoming a father can be just as scary. Good luck!
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        Thank you:-) I appreciate your kindness
        
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Gideon1997

9 years ago

You've known him 6 months and you're already pregnant?. Well it may be 2 things.
It may be the pregnancy. When you're pregnant you gain weight and lose your regular figure and your attractive features aren't that prominent anymore. If this is the case don't take it personal, pregnant women aren't that attractive. But the bright side is after you've given birth things can get back to normal.
It may be that he has lost interest in you. You've known him for only 6 months now and it may have been great at first but maybe now he's getting tired of you.
But don't take my word for it, I may be wrong.

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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

Maybe he's a jerk.

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wistfulmaiden

9 years ago

I almost always close my eyes when I have sex, its not that I don't want to look at the person its just the way I am. I find it much more relaxing.
Ask him why or let him know you like it, I would make an effort if my partner asked.

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Ellenna

9 years ago

As far as I can see no-one's asked the obvious question: was this pregnancy planned by both of you or an accident? If the latter he may be feeling trapped. How old is he? If young maybe he wasn't planning on being a father yet? (or maybe even if he's not young I guess)

Have you tried the simple step of just asking him why he looks at the ceiling instead of at you? Not when you're in the middle of having sex, some other time, just casually .. As someone else pointed out, maybe he doesn't even realise he's doing it.

If I were you I'd try & ignore people on here who jump to negative conclusions based on virtually nothing except their own baggage: you were asking for help, right, not judgmental criticism?

I wish you well, pregnancy is often a sensitive vulnerable time, take care of yourself

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  thank you! yes it was a planned pregnancy and hes 29. i did actually talk to him and he did not realize he was doing it and last night we wound up having a very passionate experience. i guess i just let pregnancy hormones make me act crazy.lol
  
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  - Ellenna
    
    9 years ago
    
    Hey that's great news! And for once on IIN we got to hear the end of the story - have a good pregnancy
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      thank you :)
      
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Anonymous Post Author

9 years ago

Thank you to those of you who weren't jerks

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- green_boogers
  
  9 years ago
  
  Prospects for deepening intimacy look bleak. Nothing personal, I'm just being brutally honest.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Yeah it seams that way oh well. When I'm done being pregnant I'll work out and become a size 3 again and maybe hell like me again
    
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    - green_boogers
      
      9 years ago
      
      Size 3 is good, but that's not going to do it. Love, time, and patience. It's all you got.
      
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- (s)aint
  
  9 years ago
  
  They weren't jerks, they were honest? together for six months and known the guy for a year ...? That IS like begging for disaster and you probably know it too.
  
  "I'll work out and become a size 3 again and maybe he'll like me again" ...Dude? get some bloody self-respect.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    I have no self respect. But thanks
    
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    - (s)aint
      
      9 years ago
      
      You got a fucking kid to think about too, he or she will grow up without a clue about what a healthy relationship looks like ...
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        what does my lack of self respect have to do with a healthy relationship?? just wondering
        
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      9 years ago
      
      If you have a kid you will need to work on that for their sake.
      
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blackbarbie

9 years ago

How do you feel about yourself? It may not be that isn't attracted to your pregnant body, it may be that he senses your discomfort with yourself. Speaking from personal experience I was very unhappy with my pregnant body and thus didn't feel attractive. My husband was actually really turned on by my new curves, but acted weird for a while because he didn't want me to go off on him or think he was a creep for being so into it. He would sort of look away from me when I was looking at him, but then I'd catch him looking oddly at me when he thought I wasn't looking. We talked about it after I became really upset and he told me how he really felt. I did think it was super weird for a man to be so arises by a pregnant woman, , but I was honestly relieved to know that he wasn't disgusted by the extra weight. In fact, our daughter is 5 and he still reminisces about having sex when I was pregnant and tries to get me to gain weight... lol. Talk to him about it and see how he's really feeling instead of getting upset without really knowing why.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  thank you i never thought abut it from that perspective!! i guess i let my hormons get the best of me :)
  
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  - blackbarbie
    
    9 years ago
    
    I can relate! It's tough to balance emotions when pregnant - so many new things, the last thing you want to be worried about is your sex life!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      amen to thank thanks alot :)
      
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  - Crapper
    
    9 years ago
    
    Are you farting a lot during the pregnancy? Maybe he can't breathe but doesn't want to say anything
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      nope he didnt know he was doing it read above
      
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Maybe he is afarid he will poke the baby? I remember when I got my ex pregnant (although she later had a miscarrage) I felt weird about sex because I thought I would poke the baby with my dick.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  i seriously never even thought about that. i would be weirded out by that too
  
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flowerchild94

9 years ago

No one can honestly say the amount of time a person should wait until they are engaged\marred, you all need to shut the hell up! that wasn't her question.
To the OP I would just suggest talking to him about it, he may not even notice he's doing it. During pregnancy your hormones are all messed up and it tends to make a person a little more sensitive so just go easy on the guy until you know whats going on in his head. good luck.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that my fiancée wont hardly lookat me during sex anymore?